Oppositional Defiant Disorder

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Man up #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #OppositionalDefiantDisorder

I wanted to apologize for my posts they’ve been kinda all over the place. I have been doing a lot of thinking 🤔 lately. I’m ready to take accountability for my actions. I have to learn to control my emotions and my temper. Because I cannot control how other people treat me. But I can however control my responses to that treatment. I am a Christian a child of God. I want to draw closer to God and not allow myself to get out of hand. I don’t have to let my disorders define either who I am or how I behave. I love all of you and I thank you to all those who have supported me on here. I just wanted everyone to know that I pray for you all constantly. Today I pray 🙏 in the mighty name of Jesus Christ that each one of you will be healed and delivered from stress,anxiety,depression,physical and emotional distress. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of the Living God. We are strong because of Him again I love you ❤️ all so much in Jesus Christ name I pray AMEN 🙏!!!

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13 reactions 5 comments
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Upset #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #Depression #imnotlazy

So I received a comment on a post that I made. I guess the person assumed/felt that I was making excuses to why my new job wasn’t going to work out for me. I am not trying to quit the job or intentionally sabotage the job opportunity. What I was saying is I can already see that my personality and that of the management staff are going to end up clashing. These managers are more cut and dry and straight to the point. No humor nothing that makes me feel relaxed or comfortable. And I don’t like working in an environment where I feel I ah e to constantly be on edge. My previous job before I was forced to move I felt way more comfortable with the job and the management there! But I don’t feel like I can do that at my new job. Plus I suffer from #OppositionalDefiantDisorder we don’t like authority figures to begin with. And to have them basically stuck up like that is a recipe for disaster. I can just see it coming. And no just because I am smell it taste 👅 and feel this disaster coming doesn’t mean I can change the outcome because to do that would mean betraying myself and bowing down to them and allowing them to continue with their mentality and I cannot allow that at all I know people call me delusional and crazy but idc I refuse to submit or surrender to ANYONE BUT GOD HIMSELF THATS THE ONLY PERSON I SURRENDER TO NEVER TO A PLAIN HUMAN BEING!!!!! Now the job can work out if these supervisors would leave me alone and stay out of my way after I’m trained to do the job efficiently and yes I go to work with the intention of working hard and doing my best everyday but once training is over I prefer the supervisor or manager to leave me alone I’ll come to you if I need you otherwise don’t bother me

4 reactions 2 comments
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What do I do? #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #Christianity

Ok well I first off want to say that I’m not happy in this marriage. I was married once before for over a decade. I was a absolute mean person who definitely didn’t have his mental health in check. Well we lost our son in 2013 and I gave my life to Christ ✝️. Things got better and then I slipped away from my faith and things got bad again and I threatened to jump off a bridge. My first wife and mother had me committed to a mental institution, I was there for two weeks. When I got out my first wife left me and I went ballistic that’s when I was diagnosed with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder . I’m been since remarried and have displayed some of the same behaviors I did that help end my former marriage. But my current wife has a lot of the same issues I do, and her family had told her that they didn’t think it would work because we’re to much alike. There’s a part of me that just wants to live alone and since I suffer from severe #Anxiety and fear of #thanataphobia (fear of dying) so being alone scares me I don’t want to die alone but I also don’t want this marriage to work out either I’m literally what my name says a lost cause

26 reactions 12 comments
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Is it just me?? #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #Anxiety

Is it just me or does anyone who suffers from similar disorders whom are employed, tend to not wanna go to work? I have my days where I don’t wanna go to work! I wanna be honest I typically have at least 3 of those days every week. Because for one I don’t like to be in a stressful situation and truthfully I don’t always like having to rope in or control myself 24/7 at work. I like the sanctity of being at home or in a public place, minus ➖ the pressure of being at work and biting my tongue 👅. Or having to mind my tendencies to have a temper because of stress. This is why I want my disability check to eliminate all that extra stress and potential problems. I definitely 💯 do a good job while at work but I have to concentrate constantly on … well basically having to behave I can’t allow myself to display any of my problems (termination) and we all have to have money 💴 to pay bills 🙄😬🫤but anyways just wanted to vent a little bit I hope everyone is doing well today

14 reactions 11 comments
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Work Related

So I work part time at a retail store 🏬 and I’m having trouble. I’m not exactly sure whom I can trust and whom I can’t. My hours recently were reduced from around 25 to 15 and I inquired as to why. It’s a long story but as usual we have a store manager and two assistant managers, well I don’t exactly trust one of the assistant managers. Mostly because I bumped heads with the male assistant manager. I was having a manic episode day. I am diagnosed with
#Bipolar disorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #genralized anxiety disorder #OppositionalDefiantDisorder ,and so I got snippy with him. And I got wrote up all the while another employee literally almost came to blows with a customer,and she didn’t get wrote up at all. But the crazy part is I was told by pretty much all the managers I do a great job. I’m also currently working on getting social security disability. I do have a disability attorney and I’m scheduled for my second hearing involving my case in February. But it is causing me to stay in a state of constant anxiety 😥. I’m already a hypochondriac who fears death ☠️. And in conjunction with my other disorders, this added stress and anxiousness at work definitely isn’t helping matters at all. Which is why I’m pitching and pleading my case with social security to award me a disability check. Sorry just wanted to vent somewhere. And I’m 38 years old and I know that I’m expected to act like a adult and except that life isn’t fair. And that people especially (supervisors) are and can talk to you like a child or a dog and you have to accept it because you have a family and bills to pay. But with my mentality I absolutely despise authority figures to begin with cue you guessed it #OppositionalDefiantDisorder . Because of the aforementioned reasons listed above I don’t like being treated like that so I act out. I’m repeatedly told that it’s a part of life and it won’t change. But look at systemic racism and how things were 65/75 years ago. We have work to do still but a change was made. So my mind can’t process or understand why we can’t prevent authority figures from being hateful and employers from treating people like crap, and using termination and bill paying as a means of control. #Christian And the crazy part is I have no problem surrendering to God the God of the Bible. Jesus Christ I will obey but human authority figures nah I’d rather be equal 🟰 in authority so that they can’t terminate me or control me in a workplace. Meaning if they act ugly towards me I can then go sit down and not work and get paid and can’t be fired,wrote up,or hours get reduced this will aid in teaching them to be polite or respectful. And before anyone mentions it yes I know that that mentality is childish and ungodly as I’ve said I LOVE JESUS CHRIST AND GOD VERY MUCH! I don’t tell others what to believe or anything I respect everyone personal choices I still show genuine love and respect for others opinions and their persons because Jesus didn’t force himself on others and neither will I. But I believe these employers and supervisors need a dose of their own medicine. I’m definitely not trying to be ugly in my behavior it’s just so frustrating to me. Using the fact that people have to work and earn a paycheck to survive as a means of control all the while treat you badly is unfair. 80/90 years ago people of color were abused and we went to segregated schools,bathrooms, ordered food tne rear of the restaurant. We changed that mindset and behavior but modern day society allows employers and it’s managerial staff can’t mistreat us and control us but oh no we can’t fix that problem that’s why I get so angry at work and in life. And on the day of the incident I was walking away from the manager I had a issue with because when he approached me and asked the question “have you been in toys the whole time “ because my job is to straighten up and organize the products on the shelves, I know that it seems like a innocuous innocent question right? But there was a implication that I had neglected the other sections in the store and focused solely on one section when I had a witness that I was in another section of the store re straightening some products on the shelf. He had implied well i haven’t seen you! And when he snapped back at me I proceeded to walk away from him stating that under the law I’m entitled to reasonable accommodation and needed 5 minutes to collect myself to address him civil like and respectfully and was told that the reasonable accommodation rule didn’t apply in that situation. Again sorry I needed to vent in a safe space

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8 reactions 13 comments
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Might have possible BPD? Struggling to find my inner voice/ vent post ❤️🥺😩😢

Hello, I’m Laura, 23. Originally from Mexico but was raised in Canada.

I have a whole history of intra generational family trauma, I super appreciate all the sacrifices my family did to bring me here, I love them but it is so incredibly hard to get along with them as we are a high stress/ super dysfunctional and toxic fam sadly. We have been through a lot, and I feel a lot of internal shame. Mental health issues run from my mom’s side in particular, and more health issues on my dad’s side.

It’s been tough
Ups and downs, there’s a whole lengthy history about all the stuff we have been through as a family. I love them all so so much, I’m super empathetic but it’s draining the fact we just can’t get along, it was always mainly my mom and dad who literally can’t stand each other but never got divorced because of financial reasons, they aren’t too much the traditional or religious type at least my mom especially she’s actually pretty anti-mexican and racist ironically so I wasn’t really raised in my culture, so I have some issues there too though I try to be open minded and find out on my own. Anyways long story short.

She’s diagnosed with major major depression, severe ptsd, chronic pain, heart disease, and so on she also most likely has super bad undiagnosed anxiety, very explosive bpd/ anger issues etc.

My sister has ulcerative colitis, and I’ve guessed oppositional defiant disorder or just very rebellious even since a child but not diagnosed could just be her and my mom have never ever gotten along and maybe never will lol to the point it gets violent confrontations, we have had to call the cops before sometimes, my sister has improved a lot but she also has pretty explosive bpd and anger issues, anxiety, long term depression or dysthymia i don’t know it’s like a thing where she rarely ever feels happy and is always numb or very callous in a way/ stoic she never ever cries.

My dad is more traditional

And things emotional health/ meant health is being weak minded etc

Just Canadian things even though my moms mother and aunt in Mexico have severe mental health too and are homeless due to lack of resources and understanding, her mom is very poor and skinny now as elderly sadly apparently but she is housed.

Anyways there’s a whole life story really hard to put into one post only.

Anyways I have diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder so basically chronic stress and severe anxiety at times other times it’s low functioning/high functioning
Environment is a big one for me since there’s been some emotional abuse for a while now. Though I love my fam it’s hard to get into counselling without them wanting to, or them never wanting to learn non violent communication and learn healthy boundaries and so on.

I’m struggling internally because I have depression, ptsd, social anxiety, panic disorder, etc

My biggest are anxiety and depression.

But since my sister is diagnosed with BPD and my mom has most likely undiagnosed BPD too my current mental health caseworker says I might actually be at risk for it
Because though I don’t maybe apply to the most common symptoms or diagnosis criteria there is a spectrum.

I don’t have too many anger issues myself or explosive bpd like they do because I’ve been on the receiving end and I know what that feels like,

I’m a huge Empath and highly sensitive person,

I don’t like to be victimized in the sense I try my best to volunteer, get counselling, work on my conditions, there’s so much stigma and hate and I respect people who don’t believe in mental health stuff or support it, but at least for me personally. Know it’s just as important as physical health and ignoring it only makes it worse in my case. Sometimes I overthink everything am I really anxious and depressed or feel like a burden to society and so on but I try really hard to use self love and acceptance while I do my best to cope and do self improvement.

Anyways sorry just venting because I guess it’s hard to explain some things to counsellors as each one has their approach and currently can’t find free or affordable counselling and my caseworker is nice to get me support and resources but a bit stigmatizing in some things too or at least has a different approach in some things. A bit of lack of empathy just because on the outside I appear high functioning due to masking my mental health but I try not to and struggle a lot behind the scenes sometimes since my environment makes my recovery a lot worse sadly and it’s hard at the moment to keep a job etc

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It’s hard because in recent years my sister has become super conservative and what some people would consider Qanon
I respect her beliefs and love her I know in some ways maybe some stuff is true some is not idk

But also I love my mom and dad but my mom constantly lashes out and belittles me and my dad can be stigmatizing in comments it’s just a hard mix when you just want to love your family and also not be drained or affected by being around them I worse on my triggers so much but it’s hard when I just absorb everything and they always have to be right hard to voice my needs or stand up for myself / boundaries

So for me the only way is to spend less time with them sadly and make a second family outside the home with more positive or accepting individuals though I love my fam and hope we can get better in the future

Anyways I guess it’s hard because lately my head isn’t a safe place I repeat everything the thought patterns and things they say
I went to an lgbtq+ friendly event today to support some of my friends as an ally. And all I can do is feel is this right is this wrong, even though I’m just trying to be nice and attend my first pride event, I respect liberal and conservative people religious or not /democrat or republican etc I have friends or fam on both sides, but it’s hard I feel I have no voice like I can’t respect myself and constantly question myself

It’s hard I feel maybe my inferiority complex and trauma etc some things might be linked to possible bpd or at least more counselling I need to do to work in I’ve been getting so many headaches lately from extreme heat outside walking as I can’t/ don’t drive at the moment and we had a bus strike for almost 6 months

And all the overthinking
I know coping tools and meditation etc I take medication maybe I need an increase in meds or additional meds but I’m scared about side effects idk I guess I’m just a struggling probably need to journal some more I just want the extra mean internal thoughts to go away it’s not me it’s not who I try to be I’m a decent and kind person I try to help when I can and be open minded help in the community but I can’t seem to do it lately for myself and it just makes me break down I try gratitude stay positive eyes but sometimes some days nothing helps it’s tough or my moods and thoughts change so much during the day it’s hard I know I just have to be good enough for me I shouldn’t care what anyone else says or thinks but it’s hard especially when it comes from your family most of the time

Thanks for any kindness and non judgmental comments this might sound over dramatic and I’ll feel better tomorrow but I guess just hard sometimes. Anyways excuse the long rant or venting and any typos or lack of grammar my phone is slow .

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Stress #Trying #New

35 reactions 19 comments
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3 Things to stay occupied when poor health

I have found a few things that help me feel productive & that I’m growing during down periods of less than stellar health:

1) Learn/practice language:
I use Duolingo at least an hour daily for French, Spanish, etc. My goal is to be fluent in French by December to surprise my Quebecois family at Christmas. Other apps are lingodeer, babbel, rosetta stone, etc.

2) Study a new subject:
I am taking an online Trauma & psychotherapy course, and reading a library book about Oppositional Defiant Disorder in preparation for going back to teaching, and we are waiting to adopt our first child from foster care.

3) Learn a new skill:
cooking, painting, drawing, writing, investing, gardening-literally the options are limitless! I watched youtube and self-taught how to play the ukulele!

4) Watch Foreign Films:
Currently I’m giving the Korean Drama/Rom Com Crash Landing On You a try. When I don’t understand a reference or something they do I look it up online and learn more about Korean culture as a result. I may not be well enough to travel right now, but I can still get cultural fixes online!

#BeWell #findpurpose #keepliving

21 reactions 7 comments
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Back to school

Stepdaughter has finished ABA and we're done with doing school online. She just simply isn't thriving there. She refuses to do any of the work so they worked with her during the past couple month to prepare her for 7th grade. She went back last Wednesday. So far, so good. She hasn't had any escalations in refusals and seems to like the environment overall. She has accomodations, but We meet with the principal later this week to work out more of her IEP and get some of that in writing. 🤞Hopefully all goes well and she stays on track! 🤞
#Autism
#OppositionalDefiantDisorder
#ADHD
#Backtoschool

2 comments
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"What if she can't?"

My stepdaughter, 12 years old, diagnosed on the autism spectrum, ADHD, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, has been doing our state's online public school the past two years while she has done therapy, in part, in an attempt to help her reintegrate into public in person school. Well, she's as defiant against the online work as she was in person. They have set up a 504 and made accomodations to make the coursework fit into her abilities. She's failing everything because she doesn't do the work. We got an email the other day saying they wanted to set up a zoom meeting to address her lack of engagement with the work and are basically saying they're gonna kick her out of the online school. The plan is to have her in person next year anyway, but her mom is beside herself with frustration. She insists that her daughter is not going to be able to do school at all. Because she refuses to do literally anything she is asked to do. I, like her therapists, disagree with this and think there's a good chance she will do ok at this point based on the progress she has made over the past couple years. But it could go either way. Cuz in all this time, what her triggers are is still elusive. I'm mostly just at a loss and venting. I don't even know what question I'm trying to ask or what question to ask. I'm just so tired of all this...
#Autism #OppositionalDefiantDisorder #ADHD #CheckInWithMe

2 comments