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I hate my doctor

I have an appointment with my primary care doctor today who has taken over my psych meds until they hire a new prescriber. She wants me off the Klonopin. I have parasomnias which is why I take it. Before she took over, I cut the amount of Klonopin in half, on my own. Now she want me to wean off, but has nothing to replace it with even though I still need it.

I also have a nurse practitioner for my chronic pain. She used to be my supervisor at the hospital, and I love her. I cut a lot of my pain medicine, then it turned out that my "failed back surgery" was cancer. After surgery for that, my pain was almost nonexistent since I was still on pain meds. I weaned myself off half, and now the back pain is back, since I have many other things wrong with it including spondylolisthesis in 4 places, spondylosis all through it, and bulging disks at every level.

Anyway the point is I have to go to my PCP who believes no one should be on pain meds and everyone who has a chronic illness such as diabetes should be at goal. I continue to tell her that PTSD causes hormone cascades which raises blood sugar and she said I have to keep my PTSD in check. Seriously I work hard every day with this illness and she has the nerve to preach to me. If I could keep it in check I would be rich. I am so anxious and I whip myself into a frenzy every time I have to go. If I want to change doctors I would have to talk to her then have a meeting with her supervisor. Oh well thanks for listening. #ChronicIllness