Sometimes, I feel content in my sadness. Sometimes, I’d rather feel numb than to feel everything intensely. Sometimes it’s the other way around. This morning, I kept telling myself that someone abandoned me and that I should just give up on expecting things from people period. Everyone seems to have their reasons for leaving. I personally feel that it’s because they got bored of me, or that they were only around to lead me to think that I could trust them and they told their new friends about me and whatever private information I’ve told them. Or simply because I’ve become unlike able to them after a short time. Either way, everyone wins while I lose another battle where everyone else except me knows who wins. Lately, I’ve been wondering why I’m still alive. I wonder why I still hold on to people who are too busy entertaining other people. Why do I feel like I should die whenever I feel rejected or left behind? I’ve got many questions, and probably two answers. #MentalHealth #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #IntenseFeelings #intenseemotions #PeoplePleaser #peopleleave #sometimes #Sadness #numbness to everything #holdingontopeople #reasonstoleave #Catch22 #WhyAmIHere #Rejection