people pleaser

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You stole my birthday! #rant

Yesterday (24-2-24 yes I love the way that looks) was my 33rd birthday. I am so very thankful for the kind humans that send me congratulations in many forms and the kind friend I had a wonderful high tea with! AND I hate my brain for focusing on the few that seem to have forgotten. It sucks so much joy from what is a joyous day to scroll past all the still to be read names in my messages to zero in on the ones that were silent, it is not fair to all my wonderful friends AND not fair to me. Let me enjoy my day, PLEASE, just this one day. I've been working toward so many long dreamed up goals but this weekend I'm just frustrated to see what my mental health is stealing from me. The panic that immediately sets in that nobody likes me, the dark voices that tell me I'm trash and this confirms it, the hope for the future that evaporates and fogs up my glasses. The work is so hard and there is still so much further to go. #Anxiety #Depression #PeoplePleaser

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Reasons to Avoid Being 'Too Good to Be True'

1. People will take you for granted:

People expect you to be there for them, but they don't want you as a wellwisher, sometimes some people use you beyond the limits.

2. You'll miss out on excellent opportunities:

If you're being available for someone by saying "Yes" if you could've said "No" there are chances that you could've spent time on yourself. Chances are you might've accomplished a milestone instead of over-helping someone whose intention is to simply ruin your energy or anything.

3. You'll have a sense of burned-out:

Anyone who uses you may give you tasks that you take a lot of effort to do usually. And, people won't entirely value your efforts. So this eventually kills your comfort line and slowly gives you a sense of burnout.

4. People will diminish the respect they have for you:

Anything available in an extensive amount is taken for granted and less valued. For example, if you go to Gulf countries they take oil for granted for the level of feasibility. But they consider water as a precious gem, while the vice versa happens with the other countries, likewise with people. So, being more available will diminish the respect people have for you.

When you're living this life you'll always crave better attention, respect, care, and love from everyone. But, in reality, just think if all the people that you've helped will visit your grave when you die. If the answer is a " yes" then help them, but have limits. You alone matter more than other people's opinions and care.

#Depression #Trauma #PeoplePleaser #regret #Sadness #selfcare #MentalHealth #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #hurt

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Put yourself in their shoes

What would you do?
Hi I’m in a battlefield of the minds.
I’m too scared to ask for help among my own family on what I need to consider in this scenario or if this were me, how I would handle handle such a situation.
I dont have too many friends, that Im comfortable to be let in & ask for their input in fear of judgement and unnecessary comments on my reasons to want to help, or even address their need.,
Friend is full time employed.
Rebuilding her life.
So I need some sound advice. #MyHeart #Anxiety #PeoplePleaser #fearofrejection #relatable

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You can't lay down yourself for others unless you have a self to lay down

I'm reading an amazing book at the moment called "The Best of You" by Alison Cook. She makes this point that seems to obvious - but I think we're so bad at in our Christian communities!

I know that for many years I was a huge people pleaser. And I heard plenty of messages giving theological justification for being a people pleaser - how we should put other people's needs above our own, seek to be servant-hearted etc. The problem was that somewhere along the way, I lost touch with what my own needs were. I lost my sense of self.

I love the way Alison Cook explains that Jesus could only make the world-changing sacrifice that He did because He had a very strong sense of self, He knew His purpose and never sought to please other people. #PeoplePleaser #christianmentalhealth #churchmentalhealth #Sacrifice #Grace #compassionatechristianity


Guilt #Guilt #PeoplePleaser

I have to remind myself that I have to do for me and my husband and what's best for our family ...meaning taking a better paying job I shouldn't feel bad over why do i?

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My mind is escaping to the rainbow berries… and I’ll be okay.

“But… what happened to you?”

I set myself on fire to keep others warm.

Others see the crowd around the light and wait until it dissipates a little to come toss on fresh kindling.

I spent so long waiting for someone to bring water… shoo everyone else away… start a fire and let me catch the warmth…

that I burned out.

Burned out on self care, burned out on community care, burned out on family care, burned out on even doing my fkn hair

So every single thing towards life feels like a battle because I don’t want life as it is right now.

I’m vibrating low right now because it takes a lot of effort for me to vibrate high. And I’m tired. But I’m okay. I know I will be. I just have a lot of held back tears to cry and my
Holding back mechanism
Is tired too.

But I will get up and walk and find beautiful things to give me just enough to get through the day. So when a tear escapes at a moment that you feel isn’t worth the tears, know that I am okay - my mind is escaping to the rainbow berries - and I’ll get back with you shortly.

#PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #PeoplePleaser #Dissociation


Addiction and Trauma

I want to share with you what I listened in a youtube video. Some wise words by Dr. Gabor Maté, psychologist, physician and author. I reccomend you go watch some videos.

TRAUMA, creates coping mechanisms.
When children are traumatized, one of the ways that they cope with it is to soothe themselves and then that's where the addictions come in, but another way to cope with it, is if you got the message that you're not good enough then you might spend the rest of your life trying to prove that you are. And how do you do that?
-By being very nice to everybody by never saying how you feel cause they might not like how you feel. By never expressing healthy anger when somebody's crossing your boundaries.”
#Childhood #PeoplePleaser #Anxiety #Depression #EatingDisorders

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Things I’m unlearning #MentalHealth #Selfacceptance #AskForHelp #PeoplePleaser

Anyone else struggling with unlearning? I find myself getting frustrated with my old ways of “pleasing people” being a “people pleaser” and doing what I want to do because it’s what’s best for me…