people pleaser

I'm reading an amazing book at the moment called "The Best of You" by Alison Cook. She makes this point that seems to obvious - but I think we're so bad at in our Christian communities!

I know that for many years I was a huge people pleaser. And I heard plenty of messages giving theological justification for being a people pleaser - how we should put other people's needs above our own, seek to be servant-hearted etc. The problem was that somewhere along the way, I lost touch with what my own needs were. I lost my sense of self.

I love the way Alison Cook explains that Jesus could only make the world-changing sacrifice that He did because He had a very strong sense of self, He knew His purpose and never sought to please other people. #PeoplePleaser #christianmentalhealth #churchmentalhealth #Sacrifice #Grace #compassionatechristianity

I have to remind myself that I have to do for me and my husband and what's best for our family ...meaning taking a better paying job I shouldn't feel bad over that...so why do i?

I want to share with you what I listened in a youtube video. Some wise words by Dr. Gabor Maté, psychologist, physician and author. I reccomend you go watch some videos.

“TRAUMA, creates coping mechanisms.
When children are traumatized, one of the ways that they cope with it is to soothe themselves and then that's where the addictions come in, but another way to cope with it, is if you got the message that you're not good enough then you might spend the rest of your life trying to prove that you are. And how do you do that?
-By being very nice to everybody by never saying how you feel cause they might not like how you feel. By never expressing healthy anger when somebody's crossing your boundaries.”
#Trauma
#Childhood #PeoplePleaser #Anxiety #Depression #EatingDisorders

themighty.com/2022/02/emdr-therapy-help-heal-trauma-ptsd

#PTSD #CPTSD #Anxiety #SexualTrauma #ComplicatedGrief #StagesOfGrief #GriefWork #Grief #SexualAssault #ChildhoodAbuse #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #onalityDisorder #PTSD #Addiction #ThisIsMyBrave #AnorexiaNervosa #Broken #repressedmemory #Hope #WhereHopeGrows #IfYouFeelHopeless #Inspiring #triumph #bigwins #progress #Hope #PersonalGrowth #SomaticSymptomDisorder #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #PTSD #mystory #TheMighty #MightyStories #ExposureTherapy #Therapy #SocialAnxiety #SuicideLossSurvivor #Survivor #GettingHelp #gettingbetter #progress #greattherapists #storiesthatmatter #Meaningful #CheerMeOn #Warriornotworrier #Selfcare #Selflove #selfedteem #NegativeThoughts #PeoplePleaser #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth #MentalHealthResources #MentalHealthCare #MightyMoment #positivemindset #Overcomer #Sharing

I stood by today when a stranger reprimanded my teenager for horsing around outside today. I feel like I failed him. I should if turned into mama bear. But I'm such a people pleaser, I couldn't bring the words out. #PeoplePleaser

Therapy is exhausting but every now and then you notice a small change that just amazes you. I have an inherent need to be 'good enough' to be acknowledged as an actual human being. Part of that means giving up every bit of yourself to make others feel okay about you, not like you, just okay.

I have been working myself to the bone to enable our team at work to meet deadlines, I'll work 30+ hours of overtime a week. I am also in the process of preparing for a massive qualifying exam and I have barely done anything related to it because I keep picking up every task that is not directly assigned to someone else.

This week I said no to overtime, I actually managed to value myself and my future enough to tell my manager I can't take on more work over the weekend.

If someone told me this a year ago I would have been too anxious to focus on anything but how my manager's view of me changed. How I am a terrible employee and supervisor and how I need to suck it up and get things done.

Just taking a second to appreciate the growth! I'll panic about how much I have to do tomorrow morning ;D