IntenseFeelings

my emotions get so strong so quick. that's why I gave up on the idea of relationships. then I met someone that gave me hope. and now what I expected to happen has happened. I had expectations that the person wanted to pursue something meaningful with me but now it appears it's just surface stuff. it's confusing cause the words they were telling me was like stuff most people would think someone would wanna be with them would say....but now their actions have changed drastically and idk if its just me who brought it out of them. but it hurts. #emotionalsuffering #BPD #IntenseFeelings

Has anyone ever felt so sad that you had suicidal thoughts? That the sadness is so intense that you wants to scream? #MentalHealth #Depression #Sadness #IntenseFeelings #SuicidalThoughts

Sometimes, I feel content in my sadness. Sometimes, I’d rather feel numb than to feel everything intensely. Sometimes it’s the other way around. This morning, I kept telling myself that someone abandoned me and that I should just give up on expecting things from people period. Everyone seems to have their reasons for leaving. I personally feel that it’s because they got bored of me, or that they were only around to lead me to think that I could trust them and they told their new friends about me and whatever private information I’ve told them. Or simply because I’ve become unlike able to them after a short time. Either way, everyone wins while I lose another battle where everyone else except me knows who wins. Lately, I’ve been wondering why I’m still alive. I wonder why I still hold on to people who are too busy entertaining other people. Why do I feel like I should die whenever I feel rejected or left behind? I’ve got many questions, and probably two answers. #MentalHealth #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #IntenseFeelings #intenseemotions #PeoplePleaser #peopleleave #sometimes #Sadness #numbness to everything #holdingontopeople #reasonstoleave #Catch22 #WhyAmIHere #Rejection

I'm calm in the outside, but on fire on the inside. I'm full of hate for someone I've cared about for a while now. I didn't gradually hate them, it happened instantly. I've been cursing them all day, wishing evil on them. I haven't been myself in a long time, I'm normally not like this either. I'm very tired of everything and everyone. Just yesterday, I was dying to feel loved, but today I'm full of rage, I feel numb, and I don't want anything to do with love ever again. There is no in between for me. #MentalHealth #hate #Rage #shifting #EmotionalIntensity #IntenseFeelings #nomiddleground #TiredOfMyThoughts #tiredofitall

For as long as I can remember I've always valued every single relationship and friendship I've been in. It's almost like my life revolved around it. They were almost like a precious diamond or something. When they ended it felt like I would never stop hurting.

However looking back a lot of them were really not the right people for me. Ive found myself constantly holding on to friendships even when they were past their due date. I've made friends with support workers, key workers and work coaches (I know I set myself up with those as a lot of there's supposed to be boundaries )

I've just started talking to someone online on instagram. Not romantic or anything. It's already started off quite intense as we've both had lots of trauma and she helps me quite a bit with my thoughts. However it's just an online relationship. There's a very slim chance of meeting as they live so far away. I sometimes get jealous seeing her replying to comments with other people under her posts. It's like I've become #obsessive again out of nowhere when I was coping quite OK . I'm quite good at coping on my own. I haven't had friends for a long time. That alone is a hard thing to say 😩. I have certain things that help me though.

It's difficult not to get so easily attached to any new person and feel that they're some precious diamond. I don't want to become some obsessive person in her DMs constantly 😂

Hi guys,
I’m not sure how many of you go through this but I have depression AND anxiety and I really try to not let that define me, as hard as it can be most days. Most people don’t understand that it’s nothing something that can be easily fixed. & that I feel things so much more intensely then the average person. Or so it seems. Like right now, I have feelings for this guy but I’m not exactly sure how he really feels about me & it’s like I know he isn’t ready for a relationship. But I feel like I am but I’m not sure if that’s just a symptom of my depression/anxiety. Plus my dating history doesn’t exactly qualify me to know these things. My therapist asked me if I was interested in guys but it’s like every time I get interested in someone I ALWAYS end up worse off for it & my mental health suffers so much & then when the next guy comes if I even open myself up to it .. I just shut down. & then I get all depressed & anxious & I tend to mess things up before it starts. I just don’t know what to do anymore. #Depression #Anxiety ##IntenseFeelings