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    hi,I wanna share my thoughts with you guys, so for awhile now all I feel is numbness, i don't feel alive, i just existe, everyday I wake up i try to feel something even if it's bad, listening to music, reading books,watching movies,work,study...

    everything is useless, all i feel is a big hole inside my chest and heart swallow me into darkness, I don't wanna give up to my dark thoughts and do things i'll regret so I write everything but even writing is useless to me NOW.

    #Depression #numbness #Selfharm

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    Phantom feelings

    An early morning poem #Depression

    They start when we’re born
    And leave when we’re torn
    All the ups and downs
    And the loss and crowns
    Feelings both funny and dumb
    Feelings both heavy or numb
    They come and go like the moon
    Hoping to return back soon

    Once they’ve been and gone
    When many have turned to none
    So far out of sight
    The weight becomes tight
    Feelings that once were
    Fade over night
    Like a ghost lingering deep
    Those feelings impossible to keep

    #Depression #numbness

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    I found a picture and it made my evening #BPD #Depression #blackorwhite #numbness

    I found a picture that almost perfectly represents my view of how I feel.
    I feel a slight discomfort - what could it be? Nervousness, anxiety, tension?
    I feel a tinge of joy at being able to go home soon, and before I can feel it again, it slips away.
    I feel guilt, which is almost always there, and insecurity, whenever someone looks at me in a weird way.

    Some days I can't even name what I feel.
    Other days I see it clearly in front of me, as if there is an invisible line connecting everything.

    And sometimes I just don't feel anything, everything is distant, the emptiness paralyzes me, it's all black or white.

    Color is rare. #blackandwhite

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    Hello Everryboddy ! ( I'm saying hello in my best Grover voice. ...a blue fur covered muppet from Sesame Street kid's program. )

    I was told that I should come and say hello. My name is Tavia, short version of Octavia. I am married. I live in bed ( if you can call that living..) due to the pain of several chronic pain conditions /injuries from a serious car accident I was in 23 years ago. I am now in my 50s. I deal with a lot of loneliness and isolation and some depression about losing my life and most of the people I cared about to an existence in pain.

    #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #AnkylosingSpondylitis #SpinalStenosis #ChronicMigraines #sciatica #Bursitis #Nervedamage #cervicalfusion #cervicaldiscectomy #spinalbonespurs #Hypothyroidism #PeripheralNeuropathy #numbness #Insomnia


    Other Ways.

    When numbness makes an entrance and engulfs me, I have no motivation. I do not care about anything.
    Self-harm urges creeps up on me. I do not cut anymore, but I still have those urges. There are other ways to accomplish self-harm, not just cutting and scratching and burning.
    I sometimes don’t eat. When I’m hungry, I don’t feed myself. Or, I do, but not enough.
    I wish my battle with self-harm would just go away.
    It will take continued progress, I know. I’m trying not to feed my demons what they want.
    #self -harm #Depression #numbness


    Not Your Fault.

    You ever feel like you’re always there for others when they need the help, but when you need the help, no ones there? I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve felt like that more times than I can count.
    It’s okay to feel this way. I know, it’s hard to validate yourself and watcher your feeling. I feel like no one is there for me, but I also know that’s my thoughts, that it’s okay to not be okay.
    I want to disappear and I don’t want company, yet I feel so lonely.
    I don’t wish this on my worst enemy. It can be hard to overcome.
    What I do is during these times is I talk to myself like I’m giving an inspiring speech to a group of mentally ill people.
    What you’re going through is not the end. It will get better. You are not your mind, etc.
    Hopefully I can reach just ONE person with this. If I do, then mission accomplished.
    #Depression #numbness #NegativeThoughts


    Silent hell

    I am screaming
    No one hears
    My silent cries

    I am hurting
    No one sees
    Through my mask

    I am smiling
    Though I'm devastated
    Eaten up from the inside

    I am numb
    Can't feel anything
    They say "keep smiling"

    But I can't
    I refuse to smile
    I refuse to feel
    Cause I can't

    I'm not screaming anymore
    I'm not hurting anymore
    There is nothing but emptiness
    Numb blankness now

    But in my dreams
    My silent cries
    Echo in my head
    Dragging me down

    To a silent hell

    #MightyPoets #Depression #IntrusiveThoughts #Poetry #numbness


    Newby (Me) missing a blog I wrote, any ideas on how to find it?

    I have recently written a blog/thought on how numbness can be a superpower. Any ideas on how to find it? I'm trying to find it to show my friend and have the email to say it's been approved. #TheMighty #Depression #numbness