RandomThoughtsRandomMind

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#MyManic

This photo is a descriptive representation of what my manic can look like.
I’ve done the whole change my hair a drastic color and chop most of it off. I’ve rebelled against myself and changed things about myself based off of temporary feelings of impulse. Changing my hair color makes me fe better. Doing my makeup different gives me more confidence. Expressing myself helps my insides be able to flourish a little bit. Even if I look crazy for a week, it made me feel a little bit more me...or a bit more crazy...either way it helped me be more me. Being myself has always been a bit of a struggle because A. I wasn’t always comfortable with myself and B. I didn’t really know who I was. ( as we all don’t fully know.) it’s always been a challenge especially of being judged upon. Basically I’m at a point in life where I don’t necessarily feed into negativity of any kind, especially with my appearance. Accepting who we are on the outside is so important but yet so hard. Trying to find little things is hard when all you see is darkness sometimes. So why not add some excessive crazy colors into the madness? #Expressfeelings #expressinglove #Bewhoyouare #Color #r #MentalHealth #Bipolar #RandomThoughtsRandomMind

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What’s the point?

I’ve been home all day, too tired to get off the couch, in and out of sleep. It’s hard to even move so taking a shower is out of the question. I haven’t showered in days but I need to. After trying to get up all day I finally make it to the shower. I turn the water on and it’s cold. My whole world collapsed. All the energy I spent trying to get up just wasted.

What’s the point? Why get up? Why shower? None of it matters. Maybe if I got up earlier the water would’ve been hot. I’m such a waste of space.

Those are the thoughts that go thru my head as I sit on the bathroom floor sobbing like someone died. But someone has died. The person I used to be. The person who would just take a cold shower and be clean. Idk anymore.

#RandomThoughtsRandomMind #RTRM #Depression #hygiene