recoveringadultchild

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The frustration of finally finding my voice and even technology screws with you! #HSP #CPTSD #Anxiety #recoveringadultchild #healthyanger

I spent over an hour on this post only to have the app freeze. As some of you already know once that happens there is no way to save what you have written other then to rewrite it. That’s if you manage to even recall what you have written. Right now all I managed to do was take a screenshot because I do not have the capacity or energy to rewrite this. For me this triggers and compounds my feelings of dismissed and not able to express what I want.

My original post had an image of showing the Internal Family Systems model that gave more context to what I wrote. I’m not able to include the same image but this is link that shows it.

tasshin.com/blog/exploring-internal-family-systems

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Just watched a very disturbing video shown on a local news website. #TriggerWarnings #ignorancetowardsmentalhealth #Anxiety #verbalabuse

As an HSP I have to limit how much news I watch. I actually do not actively watch the news. I go to YouTube or websites of local news channels to stay somewhat informed of what’s happening.

I have done this for years as I became aware of how much it negatively impacted my mood. This was even before starting to learn about what it meant to have the HSP survival trait.

The video taken by a customer at restaurant trying to stop the owners of that restaurant in physically trying to kick out another customer with a service dog. This is 2021 the ignorance and aggression in their tone of voice, the words they were spewing and the physical actions by the owners of this restaurant was disgusting.

I definitely got triggered just watching the interaction. I feel sadness, hurt, frustration, anger. That is me just watching someone else’s painful interaction. I feel powerless, disgust……who knows what other emotions in which I’m unable to identify and articulate.

Overall it maybe the fact that I connect with how my mental health issues and struggles are not understood by my family and several friends. If I get triggered by their words or actions I’ve been conditioned to keep my upset to myself. So I guess this was just disturbing because ai felt so bad for what was happening to this man. That he did not deserve to be treated so badly. Then the other parts that triggered me where I’m enmeshed feeling like it was happening to me. I’m not always aware of what shift my mood. This time I’m so consciously aware how this just magnified my personal feelings of how I have been treated because of my mental health. Add the extra layer of being HSP and much deeper we see and feel things is really challenging right now.

#Depression #CPTSD #emotionallyoverwhelmed #recoveringadultchild #sufferedinsilence #Fear #Grief #adultchildofdysfunction

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