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When you’re struggling with depression or low self-worth, it’s easy to start looking outside yourself for proof that you matter. A compliment, a relationship, success, attention, or someone choosing you can make you feel better for a while. But when your sense of worth depends entirely on what comes back from other people, it can disappear just as quickly.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting love, connection, or reassurance. We all need those things. The goal isn’t to stop needing people. It’s to stop believing that other people get to decide your value.

You deserve to experience love from others without needing it as evidence that you are worthy of love in the first place.

What is one quality you value in yourself that has nothing to do with anyone else’s opinion?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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The Grief That Comes After the Grief

Everyone talks about grieving the narcissist relationship that ended. Almost nobody talks about grieving the relationship that was never actually going to happen in the first place.

I'm not talking about mourning what you lost. I'm talking about mourning what you were still, quietly, hoping for. The version of them that finally saw it. The apology that finally came. The moment they became who you needed them to be, before it was too late. That hope doesn't die when the relationship ends. It dies slowly, on its own timeline, sometimes years later, and when it finally goes, it can hit harder than the breakup ever did.

This shows up in strange ways. Relief when they get older or weaker, followed immediately by guilt about the relief. Grief that arrives out of nowhere when you realise a certain conversation is now never going to happen. A strange flatness when the fantasy finally, quietly, dies.

None of that means you're not healed. It means you're grieving something real, a possibility, not just a person. And possibilities deserve their own grief, separate from everything else you've already worked through.

If you've ever felt confused by grief that shows up long after you thought you were done grieving, this might be why. It's not a setback. It's just a different loss finally getting its turn.

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The Trauma Response Nobody Warns You About

Most people know fight, flight, and freeze. Almost nobody talks about fawn, and it might be the most misunderstood one of all.#Trauma #PTSD #ChronicPain #fawn #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Healing #MightyTogether Fawn is when your survival strategy becomes disappearing into whoever you're with. Less noise. Fewer needs expressed. More agreement. More performance of contentment. Not because you wanted to, but because compliance had the best historical record of reducing harm.That's not weakness. That's a sophisticated survival strategy built by someone with no other tools available. But here's what fawn does that the others don't. Fight leaves your sense of self intact, you resisted. Flight leaves it intact, you moved. Even freeze leaves it intact, something in you went elsewhere while your body waited it out. Fawn dismantles the self in the process of deploying it, because when your survival strategy is becoming what the threat needs, you spend years being not yourself.

And it doesn't stay in childhood. It comes with you. Into relationships, workplaces, friendships, every room where someone has the power to hurt you or withdraw approval. Someone raises their voice and you're already smiling before you've thought anything. Someone expresses displeasure and you're already apologising before you've asked whether it was even your responsibility.

If you've ever wondered why you can't tell where the performance ends and you begin, this might be why.

#Trauma #PTSD #MentalHealth #Healing #MightyTogether

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ADHD vs Depression: Understanding the Key Differences

ADHD and depression are two different mental health conditions, but their symptoms can sometimes look similar. Difficulty concentrating, low motivation, problems completing tasks, and changes in daily routines may occur with either condition. Because of this overlap, it can sometimes be difficult to understand what is actually causing these experiences.

The important difference is that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that typically begins during childhood, while depression is a mood disorder that can develop at different stages of life. Understanding the differences between ADHD and depression can help people recognize symptoms and seek appropriate professional support.

What Is ADHD?

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that can affect attention, organization, impulse control, and activity levels. Although ADHD is often associated with children, symptoms can continue into adolescence and adulthood.

ADHD can affect many areas of everyday life, including work, school, relationships, time management, and responsibilities. Symptoms may vary from person to person, and not everyone with ADHD experiences the same combination of difficulties.

Common Symptoms of ADHD

ADHD symptoms are generally grouped into inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive patterns. Some people mainly experience difficulties with attention, while others experience both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.

Common signs may include difficulty staying focused, frequently losing things, forgetting responsibilities, struggling with organization, interrupting others, restlessness, or acting without thinking. These symptoms are typically persistent rather than appearing only during a short period of low mood.

What Is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that can affect emotions, thinking, physical health, and everyday functioning. A person experiencing depression may feel persistently sad, empty, hopeless, or lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed.

Depression can affect sleep, appetite, energy, concentration, motivation, and self-esteem. Symptoms can vary in severity and may interfere with relationships, work, education, and other areas of life.

Common Symptoms of Depression

Depression may involve persistent sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, low energy, feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt, changes in sleep or appetite, difficulty concentrating, and thoughts about death or suicide.

Not everyone experiences depression in the same way. Some people may primarily notice physical fatigue or loss of motivation, while others may experience significant emotional changes.

ADHD vs Depression: Key Differences

Although ADHD and depression can share certain symptoms, there are important differences between them. Looking at the pattern, duration, and history of symptoms can help distinguish one from the other.

Differences in Attention and Concentration

People with ADHD may have difficulty maintaining attention even when they want to focus. They may become distracted easily, struggle with organization, or have trouble completing tasks that feel repetitive or uninteresting.

With depression, concentration problems are often connected with low mood, reduced energy, loss of interest, or slowed thinking. A person who normally has good concentration may notice that their ability to focus has declined after depressive symptoms develop.

Differences in Motivation

Low motivation can occur with both conditions, but the experience may be different. Someone with ADHD may want to complete a task but struggle to begin it, organize the steps, or maintain attention long enough to finish it.

With depression, a person may lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed and feel that everyday tasks require significant effort. Lack of motivation may be closely connected to low mood, fatigue, or reduced pleasure.

Differences in Mood

ADHD can involve frustration, impatience, emotional impulsivity, or rapid changes in feelings. However, these emotional experiences are not the same as the persistent low mood or loss of interest commonly associated with depression.

Depression generally involves a noticeable change in mood and emotional functioning that continues over time. Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, emptiness, or worthlessness may become prominent.

Can ADHD and Depression Occur Together?

Yes. A person can experience both ADHD and depression. When the two conditions occur together, symptoms may overlap and make daily functioning more difficult.

For example, ADHD-related difficulties with organization or completing responsibilities may contribute to frustration or stress. At the same time, depression can further reduce energy, motivation, and concentration. This combination can make it harder to determine which symptoms are connected to ADHD and which may be related to depression.

Why Proper Evaluation Matters

Because ADHD and depression can look similar in certain situations, professional evaluation is important. A mental health provider may consider the person's symptoms, their history, when symptoms began, how long they have continued, and how they affect daily life.

A diagnosis should not be based on one symptom alone. Looking at the overall pattern can help a provider determine whether someone may have ADHD, depression, both conditions, or another mental health condition that may produce similar symptoms.

How ADHD Can Affect Daily Life

ADHD may affect organization, time management, relationships, school, work, and household responsibilities. A person may frequently start tasks without finishing them, forget appointments, underestimate how long activities will take, or become overwhelmed by several responsibilities at once.

These difficulties can sometimes lead to frustration and low confidence. When challenges continue without appropriate support, they may also contribute to stress and emotional difficulties.

How Depression Can Affect Daily Life

Depression can make ordinary responsibilities feel much harder. Getting out of bed, working, studying, socializing, exercising, or maintaining personal routines may require more effort than usual.

People experiencing depression may also withdraw from friends and family or stop participating in activities they once enjoyed. These changes can further affect relationships and overall quality of life.

Treatment and Support for ADHD and Depression

Treatment depends on the condition, severity of symptoms, personal history, and individual needs. ADHD may be addressed through behavioral strategies, therapy, medication management, or a combination of approaches when appropriate.

Depression may also be treated through psychotherapy, medication management, lifestyle support, or other clinically appropriate approaches. When someone experiences both ADHD and depression, a mental health professional can help identify which symptoms need attention and develop a personalized approach.

Telepsychiatry can provide convenient access to psychiatric support from home, while in-person office visits remain an option for people who prefer face-to-face care. Having access to both options can make it easier for individuals to stay connected with ongoing mental health services.

#MentalHealth

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Expectations versus reality #Depression #Anxiety #Hope #Relationships #MentalHealth

Sometimes we are our own worst critics. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to adjust, lower, our expectations. Last night I was talking with a friend who is newly retired. He said he might start learning how to play the piano.

I told him many years ago I started having piano lessons. One day the teacher said to me, “I cannot in good conscience take your money anymore”. You see I have weird little fingers on both hands. I was born with them that way. The tendons are too short so they can’t move at all.

However, when no one is at home, I have started learning some piano technique through YouTube. I know I will never be proficient, but, it’s still a bit of fun.

What do you need to let go? What reality do you have to accept? Don’t beat yourself up so easily. Sometimes “having a go” is the best we can do. Self love is a great investment!!!

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Love seeking and relationships

Hello, in online i always feel like that i want to be loved or have a partner or someone that does care to me, i have no idea why but when i try to get a kind one or some relation i always fail and that feeling gets me lonely or that no one loves me or likes me or i am the worst, so yeah i am very bad and i have anxiety when people choose someone else to like not me or they're taken or they get the care they wanted or they basically don't care, i always expect people to treat me well and gentle instead even by advice they just being mean or they put the blame to me, i feel i am a bad person that no one likes

#Anxiety #Advice #Love #MentalHealth

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"If it were possible, I think I’d tell my past self not to be caught off guard by #depression."

"It was about a year [after diagnosis] I had my first brush with depression. I tried to make peace with my illness as quickly as I could, but when I took stock of time lost and damage to relationships, my mental health worsened, and that wasn’t as easy to recover from."

multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com/columns/chairborne-a-column-b...

#depression #MultipleSclerosis #ChronicIllness #Disability #MightyTogether

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Have you ever been in the shed?

Warning…this is a post about mental illness and suicide. It is also a very real post about where I am right now.

I cannot help but wonder if in this stage of my life, if guilt has any real purpose. I carry guilt over what kind of mother I am, I carry guilt about what kind of daughter I was and now tonight I am carrying a very new kind of guilt. You see, my mom lied to me my whole life. Not just about who my dad was but who my siblings were. I missed out on having a relationship with any of them because of her.

After spending years looking for him, I finally found my brother. The last time I had seen him was at our dad’s funeral. Unfortunately, Chris struggled with some demons. We would spend time on the phone with him telling me that he had been searching for me and that I was his “savior.” However, I allowed his actions and his words to keep me away from him. I allowed the manipulation of his mother to shut him out of my life. Now it all makes sense. My brother and I were clearly cut from the same cloth. We both battled demons known as mental illness. Being mentally unwell is not anything to joke around about or talk about flippantly. It is a very real and very dark place to be. I have spent many nights as of late curled up in a fetal position thinking about how much life would be better for everyone if I was not here and feeling like I had no more fight in me.

Unfortunately after I ended any kind of relationship I was trying to have with him, my brother walked into his shed at his home and took his life. Clearly, he had no fight left in him and sadly, he did not feel like he had a safe place to land. I have been in that shed, metaphorically a million times. That place where the voices won’t stop and where the pain is so real you can feel it physically.

Now I sit here with this new guilt. What if a relationship with me could have been what he needed. What we both needed. What if God had plans to use me to show him who his real Savior was? I failed at both of those tests. I know that I cannot be all things for all people but if I can’t even show up for the people that need me the most, how do I live guilt free?

Thankfully, I have professionals I can talk to, I have medication I take several times a day and I have a whole slew of friends that I have allowed myself to be very vulnerable with. I wish that Chris had had those things.

If you or someone you know is heading to that shed, please reach out or grab their hand and show them they have a safe place

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