Relationships

When you’ve lived in a survival-based, uncertain environment for most of your life, you tend to develop control patterns that quietly cloud your judgment throughout adulthood.

I discovered this very late in life.

For years, I thought I was simply “intuitive.” I believed I could predict patterns before they happened. I thought I always knew when something was wrong.

But the truth is: it wasn’t intuition. It was a survival mechanism.

Unfortunately, I became someone who was constantly scanning for danger, waiting for something to go wrong. I would overanalyze everything, replay conversations in my head for hours, search for hidden meanings, connect patterns that didn’t exist, and mentally prepare myself for abandonment, disappointment, or betrayal before anything even happened.

And it’s exhausting.

I’m not a genius. I’m not psychic. I can’t see the future.

I’m just a wounded person who spent most of their life trying to protect themselves through a false sense of control.

Coming to this realization took so much energy from me that today, I sometimes don’t even know how to regulate my nervous system anymore. I don’t know what is true intuition and what is simply anxiety speaking.

And I think many of us see this most clearly in our relationships — romantic or not.

We overgive. We overlove. We overexplain. We overcheck. We overanalyze.

And in the end, everything we fear seems to happen anyway, almost like a painful manifestation of our own fears.

So how do we regulate?

What’s helping me — and I’m still learning — is slowing down before reacting. Sitting with discomfort instead of immediately trying to control it. Allowing people to show me who they are over time instead of trying to predict outcomes. Journaling instead of spiraling. Talking kindly to myself instead of treating anxiety like intuition. Resting. Going outside. Breathing. Creating. Letting my body feel safe again.

Most importantly, I’m learning that peace does not come from control.

It comes from safety within yourself.

#Anxiety #MentalHealth #healingjourney #reclaimyourself

Hi, I’m kmw19. I’m here to learn healthier ways to manage my borderline personality disorder and better understand myself. I struggle daily with relationships, friendships, intimacy, and family connections, and sometimes it feels overwhelming trying to balance my emotions and reactions.I joined this space because I want growth, support, and understanding. I want to learn how to communicate better, cope in healthier ways, and build more stable relationships while continuing to work on myself every day.I’m here to talk, listen, learn from others, and connect with people who understand the ups and downs that come with BPD. Please be kind — healing is a process, and I’m doing my best.#MightyTogether #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ADHD #Anxiety #Depression

Hi, my name is EH8988eh.

#MightyTogether . If I’m being fully honest, I think I view myself like the giant in a story.
Not the beautiful girl the misunderstood one. The big, angry, almost monstrous character that people fear or misunderstand until someone finally loves them enough to see the softness underneath.

Because underneath all of it, I do have the same softness the sweet girls have. I love deeply. I care deeply. I want tenderness, romance, safety, gentleness.
But I think growing up, my mother made femininity feel unsafe for me. Her words, actions, and judgments slowly pulled it out of me until I became hard in places I was supposed to stay soft.

So now I think I move through relationships carrying both people inside me at once:
the girl who desperately wants love, and the angry giant who learned not to expect it.

And because I’m still searching for the kind of love and emotional safety I never fully received growing up, I sometimes tolerate silence, inconsistency, or emotional distance longer than I should because some part of me is still hoping to finally be chosen gently.

Teamwork Makes The Dream Work Leadership Training Series Part 1

www.youtube.com/watch

Leadership is defined as the action of leading a group of people or an organization.
Some leadership roles include working with a group or organization towards a common goal, organizing tasks, problem solving and using everyone’s strengths.
Leaders should never overpromise there time, but instead make a promise about they are going to do.
Some examples of things that leaders should promise include making their role full or part time, who will support them, and what their responsibilities are.
There are many things that people should consider before becoming a leader such as if they have any other commitments, are you physically, emotionally, and mentally able to take on this role right now, and do have the right skills and resources for this role?
One way that people can figure out if they have what it takes to be a leader is by writing down their technology skills, personal assets and strengths, as well as their relationship, and community and eligibility specific supports.
Last but not least, before a people decides if they want to become a leader they should figure out if they actually want to take on the role by asking themselves questions like would I truly enjoy it, would I rather do something else, and should I talk to someone who has experience in this role?

Teamwork Makes The Dream Work Leadership Training Series Part 2 www.youtube.com/watch

Teamwork makes the dreamwork is the phrase that stuck with me the most from the first training viedo.
The insights that I gained from the first training video include how how hard it is to be a successful leader and what skills you have to have.
The most critical things that I learned from the first training video were how hard it is to be a successful leader, what it takes to be a successful leader, and do never give up on your dreams.
To be a successful leader you to attend every meeting, be a people person, want to do it, have all the required support, and carry out all of the necessary duties and responsibilities.
One great strategy that help people figure out if they have what it takes to be a successful leader is writing down all of their personal strengths and assets, technology skills, as well as any relationships that they may have with other people, and what community or eligibly supports they may have.

How To Be A Good Leader

Lead by example
Communicate clearly
Listen actively
Have a passion about their work
Be positive and encouraging
Never stop learning
Respect each other
Build healthy relationships
Be very empathetic and understanding
Be calm and not anxious