Relationships

Sitting on the back porch with Buddy before the next cold weather front moves in Tuesday. I love the early morning as my mind is clear before the day really starts. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and the stress was at a minimal. I use this period to reflect the past year and to set new goals for next year. I’ve found that making New Year’s resolutions are a joke as I break them usually by the following day. Instead I make goals. This makes things more obtainable. This upcoming year there will be some major changes as my wife is retiring. It truly seems like we were just dating in high school. Time flies is a understatement! It’s also the time to refigure retirement as a new chapter is just beginning. That by itself can be a challenge. When your not used to being together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week can be a challenge just by itself. My Honey Do list is already overflowing. When your young and the relationship is new and fresh it’s different. After 48 years of marriage it can be hard lol. We both have our routines, interests some which are different so I can see some debates are in the future . Any man that says he runs the house is either lying or confused lol. I know who the Boss is and it isn’t me. I hope everyone is doing fine and start thinking of the “Goals” you’d like to see this next year….Buddy and I sending our Love….David

Hi, my name is cresy_blue. Am I actually slowly losing myself??(Yes, another mental health issue case or not, please be patient. if you are a therapist, I would love to hear your suggestions.)19F second-year computer application student.Recently, I cried during a lecture. Why?
Even I don’t know, maybe it was pent up, my marks just triggered this. I got 22/40, pretty average(I have scored worse), and I’m used to it, but the first time I cried, not because of marks, but because of how I saw that I’m failing myself. My friend, who scored low in every course, scored better than I did. no I do not blame her. I blamed myself. I know I could have scored better, but I did not even try. I just read for 2 hours before the exam. That’s it, crazy, never did I ever go so low.

And even if I had studied a day before, I know I could have scored, but I just couldn’t concentrate. I just put it off, saying I'll study it afterwards instead doom scrolled Instagram and reading thoughtless fanfictions. My brain has lost its sense of priority; this is not the first time either. I did this almost every exam, and because of that, I even have a backlog.

These days, every single time something doesn’t go my way, I get so frustrated. Recently, we had a fun week in which they had character day and mix-n-match day. but 2 days before the event, they changed into twin day and jersey day. I was swearing the building would just burn; the same thing wouldn’t have bothered me 3 years ago. I was prepared, and it didn’t go that way. Many times, similar minor incidents have occurred.

Is it pressure? I thought my mom was never in front of me, at least demanded to be a topper of my father: you passed great!My friends, most of them are smart. And I believe I don’t even have a toxic relationship with them either.Nor do I have pressure, not even a lecture problem; I have every resource and every gadget needed comfortable space to work, am I really just lazy? Yes, I have realized, but that does not help overcome my problem at all.

I have nothing unfair going on in my life, and I stopped doing my favorite hobbies; I’m getting less creative day by day. (feels improbable because I would be the most creative person you would have met in my school days) I’m putting off everything: assignments, study, hobbies, getting up early, going to sleep,(I even put off posting this).

I get tired, bored, or simply sad whenever I start to study nowadays (no, I was not like this before).Do you relate to this? Please suggest something to get over this. I don’t want to remain the same. I would love to hear your story. (No blaming pls I have drained myself doing that)
TMI: It has come to my attention that I have a normal period when I don’t go to college for months. Once the semester starts, I start having irregular periods.

#MightyTogether

I have had several of these over the years, despite the inference being it is a one off. Another name for it is suicide ideation. It's where you feel worthless and hopeless and want to die. It is based upon embarrassment about something you've done, a shame so deep that you no longer want to be here (alive in this world /living in this place / in this relationship / working in this job / being a member of this group - family, friendship, military or other service, sports etc). You feel you've let yourself and others down, fallen below your own standard of behaviour).

i guess that I am not alone what I have both diagnosis. I heard that singer Sia and enterpurer Elon Musk have both autism and bipolar. I guess there’s so many famous people who suffered from diagnosed and have their own talents. I feel misunderstood and some people hate me who I am because of my personality and interests that I am into cartoons and fantasy and even wearing t shirts. I don’t understand why I have both of these diagnosis because of running from my family members. I wish I were normal so that everyone will like me. They considered me as broken person. My mom and also some people say it is my fault what I have diagnosed of bipolar because of having mood swings and lack of sleep. I sometimes have trouble in relationship with my ex boyfriend because he did not want me to obey my mom, which made me hurt. My mom told me that he was not good person who he was that was since 5 or 6 years ago. I fell in love with him, but he used on me. I also communicated with therapist to plead him to communicate him, but the security placed me in hospitalisation that is why I have both diagnosis. I was being depressed even though taking medication caused me having side effects such as gaining weight and irregular period. I had different types of medication for several years ago, but now I am on right medication. I wish that my mom should understand and accept me who I am even though she is religious. I don’t think it is my fault what I have. She thought of me possessed by demons. I have like disease of mental. For instance, in Kuwait where populations have diabetes have awareness not mental illness. Usually, they stigmatized me. Not just in Kuwait and even other countries. When I was in class, gay guy did present about being stigmatized in Kuwait where they have lack awareness of mental illnesses, which made me cried who I felt. He said to accept yourself rather than others. He said to me that I shouldn’t not escape out of Kuwait and move to another country because where there is a lot of stigmatized and even being Islamophobic because my religion is Muslim. Even this female student who bullied me when I studied abroad in Vermont. She pushed a table toward me that she made a violence. I wish to stop stigmatized and being Islamophobic where there’s a lot of populations of Muslims and especially political situations where Israelis did genocide in Palestine. I think it is very sad society how they tortured and criticised as human beings even though having different religions and disabilities. Please be aware of those people did harm you and is better to stay away and be alone. Just focus on yourself and wish you a happy holidays