Relationships

You can trust God, even when it seems scary.

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So many relationships with BPD are unhealthy because we focus on chemistry instead of safety.

This quote is really helpful. I hope it helps you today.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #Selfharm #Selfcare #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #SubstanceUseDisorders #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #Depression

The trap of parenting guilt

One of the hardest jobs in the world is being a parent. After our daughter was born we were feeling reasonably confident when our son was born two years later. What we hadn’t considered though was the fact that they were completely different. What worked with one child didn’t work for the other.

One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is that we can do our very best to raise children who are happy, productive and responsible. We want children who make the right choices. Children who walk away from darkness and embrace good choices in life.

This week I am going to conduct a funeral for a young man who died at aged 48. He grew up in church and I taught him in Sunday school. In his teenage years he started dabbling with drugs and getting into low level crime. As much as I implored his parents to have firm boundaries with him they found it difficult to say “no” to him about anything.

I tried to scare him straight by pointing out what happens to young guys in prison. Unfortunately he did end up in prison and my predictions came true. Over the years he became addicted to harder drugs and this brought about violent outbursts. His parents had to take restraining orders out on him.

This week they found him deceased in their garden shed. The coroner has ruled death by alcohol poisoning.

Naturally his parents are struggling with guilt about what they saw as their failures as parents. This is what I reminded them.

You can try to be a perfect parent, although there really is no such thing. The sad truth is, God gave us free will and even though we do our very best our children can make choices that are dangerous, reckless and have awful consequences.

After Rick Warrens son committed suicide some cruel and heartless people posted online “ Where is your purpose driven life now”.

Rick and his wife gave their son the very best of care and professional support. It unfortunately wasn’t enough.

So parents. Please listen. If your children have taken a path you would not have chosen. Please gentle with yourself. We can do our best but sometimes that is not enough.

At the funeral I will highlight the times their son and I discussed the love of God and how he knew God loved him despite everything. I will offer hope to the grieving. I will speak about the mercy of God.

God entrusts our children to us. Then we entrust our children to God. We always pray for them. We always love them. It’s what we can do.