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DEAR CHILDREN

To our Sweetest Children, The inner turmoil of Marriages is not your fault, Others' Paths and the Lonliness therein is not your fault. YOUR OWN LOVE and lonliness at times is not your fault. I SEE THE PAIN BEHIND THE JOY THE LONLINESS OF NOT having Steady parents, Was I Lucky to give my kids a Somewhat Steady home Until this Year, Good times and Secure times Ebb and Fliw, There is so much Live, so much Smiles, si much Hope though I do not like that Word, Some kids are stronger than others, I pray you are all doing ok, The pain of Losing Elders is hard on the kids too, I pray you don't be Opportunistic whatever Culture You are, A clean Room, food around the table, Marital trust, Parental trust and Family trust, You are so Loved, Kids with Headaches n Broken Hearts, I as a mom have One too, I am so Grateful for You and Our Memories, What makes Wellness, What majes Trust and Honesty, What majes the Strength and Couragw of Love, What is Community, What is a teacher or a Parent, to all the Shoulders, the Parent Soldiers I thank you, coming out of my once secure World I am learning your Strength, Jobs, Parenting, Cleaning, Cooking, Grocery Bills, Faith, Romantic Relationships, Forgiveness, Finances, Gratitude, Togetherness when we can and Longing and Remembrance when We can't, We're small, all of us, in this big World but there's community, Faith Roots, abd our families, Health is Hard to Restore, Wealth n Faith are Hard to Restore, Even family Connections are hard to restore, Koss is hard to get over, no one to blame, go where needed, Love On, Housekeeping is shelter to mom and kid but is it enough, Skill, Motherease, Sponsorships, Sorrow, Anger, Angels, Mental Health Help, Fosters, Value, Kid Gigs, Mom Gigs, Paoa Gigs, Yes you ask me to Enter but all you want is Love, Thoughts n more aporopriate prayers arevwith you, My temper's made mistakes, Fresh air, Good food, Good God n Exercise, for most pain is temporary, I'm sorry to burden you with mibe, I have such a good Blessed Kife Still, I am So Lucky, Peace

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Friendship Zoom Notes

How to Get Through Hard Mental Health Days------you don't have to be ok today. You just have to get through today. One step, one breath, one moment at a time.

1 Give yourself permission-it's ok to not be ok. You are human. Let yourself feel what you feel without guilt or pressure.
2 Focus on the Basics----drink water, eat something, shower, get some rest----small things matter more than you think
3 Take it minute by minute---You don't have to have the whole day figured out. Just focus on making it through the next minute
4 Talk to someone---reach out to someone you trust.....you don't have to go through it alone
5 Be Gentle with Yourself----avoid self-criticism....talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love
6 Do One Small Thing----make your bed, take a short walk, do one tiny thing that helps you feel a little accomplished
7 Distract or Soothe----listen to music, watch a comfort show, color, journal or do something that brings you comfort
8 Remember: This won't last forever----hard days are hard, not forever. Your feelings are real, but they are not permanent
9 Hold onto your why----think about what keeps you going.....your kids, your future, your dreams-----hold onto that,,,,,you matter...you are needed....your story isn't over
Don't forget---you are not alone.....it's ok to ask for help.....you are doing the best you can, & that is enough. Be proud of yourself for making it this far....keep going.....you've got this.

How to Get Through Hard Days-----Practical Ways to Carry Yourself Through
1 Lower the Bar----Do what is possible today, not what is perfect
2 Do the Basics---food, water, rest, & a shower still count as progress
3 Take one hour at a time----you do not need to solve the whole day at once
4 Reach for Comfort----choose something soothing.....not something harmful
5 Step Outside----fresh air can help create a small shift
6 Pause the Pressure----drop any extra demands that can wait
7 Cancel what you can-----make space when your capacity is low
8 Rest without earning it----you do not have to be at breaking point to rest
9 Ask for Help Early----support is easier before things build up to far
10 Keep your World Small----focus on the next right thing
11 Feel without fixing----not every emotion needs to be solved immediately
12 Choose one tiny win----small wins still help carry the day
13 Avoid harsh self-talk-----hard days do not mean you are failing
14 Hold onto Routine----even one steady habit can help anchor you
15 Remember it will shift-----this day is not the whole story
16 End the Day Gently-----aim to comfort yourself, not judge yourself

Signs You Need A Mental Health Day----sometimes the strongest thing you can do is take a break
1 You're tired even after a full night's sleep---rest doesn't feel refreshing anymore
2 Every little task feels overwhelming----simple things suddenly feel huge
3 You're constantly distracted----you read the same email three times
4 You're more irritable than usual-----small inconveniences feel impossible to handle
5 You dread opening your laptop----work feels exhausting before the day even starts
6 You've stopped enjoying things you normally love-----even hobbies feel like another task
7 You're making more mistakes then usual-----your mind is running on empty
8 You can't remember the last time you truly relaxed----you're always "on"

You don't have to push through every time, your well-being matters, one day at a time, boundaries, rest, balance, rest is productive to, taking a break isn't falling behind----it's how you keep going....be kind to your mind.....reminder you don't have to earn rest

8 Daily Habits of Mentally Strong People
1 They start their day with purpose----they plan their day & focus on what truly matters
2 They embrace discomfort----they step out of their comfort zone & grow through challenges
3 They Manage their Thoughts----they don't believe everything they think & choose
4 They Stay Focused------they avoid distractions & stay committed to their goals
5 They Practice Gratitude------they take time to appreciate the good in their lives
6 They Take Care of their Body----they eat well, exercise, & get enough rest
7 They learn from Mistakes------they don't fear failure, they use it as a lesson to improve
8 They surround themselves with positivity------they spend time with people who inspire & uplift them

How to Live A More Mindful Life
1 start your day with deep breathing
2 practice gratitude daily
3 spend time in nature
4 limit screen time
5 eat meals without distractions
6 journal your thoughts & feelings
7 meditate for at least 5 minutes a day
8 listen actively to conversations
9 let go of things you can't control

Mental Health vs Mental Illness-----both are important..........both are real.....but they are not the same

Mental Health----How we think, feel, & act in our daily lives
A state of well-being. You can cope with normal life stresses
Feeling happy, balanced & able to handle life's ups & downs
Helps you function well at work, school & in relationships
Changes over time based on life situations & experiences
Maintained with self-care, healthy habits, & support

Mental Illness------A medical condition that affects thinking, mood, or behavior
A diagnosable condition that causes significant distress or difficulty functioning
Depression, Anxiety disorders, Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, OCD, & more
Can interfere with daily life, relationships, school, work, or self-care
Symptoms last for a period of time & may require treatment
Often needs professional help such as therapy, medication, or other treatments

Important to Remember-----You can have good mental health & still have a mental illness
Struggling with your mental health does not mean you have a mental illness
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness

Take Care of Your Mental Health-----stay hydrated, move your body, express your feelings, get enough sleep, talk to someone you trust, do things that bring you joy

Mental health is a journey....be kind to yourself every step of the way

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DEAR MIGHTIES

Thank you for this Lifeline, I am so LOW I can see HELL, How are you supposed to BELEIVE in LOVE anymore if it is all Harassment. IT HAS been a Violent week and a half. YESTERDAY And for 3 days I've spent my time cleaning incessantly, Today we got a turkey when I had already got a chickn, put on my best dress to get out of Chickn Turkey Hell where I was deboning n experimenting with recipes like Chickn Schwarma n Juliene, Chickn in a cream sauce baked in small dishes in the oven with melted cheese on top, On top of Losing my dad and godmom the Strife is too hard and right now briefly I have Suicidal Ideation, Went to craft yesterday where it was strained and I keep meeting HIPPIES, Yesterday was extremely hard as I was greeted home with a soup of a full package of noodles in a Chicken broth with two carrots, revised the soup to a good Tomato soup with Pizzas only to be assaulted for hours about the taste of the soup only to almost fall down the stairs weak, everyday is a mess by my family n I spend many hours cleaning it, today my kid hovered in my room looking for bus change while I was down, I overate this morn n halloween treats when couldn't sleep, there's been incessant yelling, I have been locked up before in restraints cuffs and a room and ward for up to 5 weeks, the hospital or prison is often threatenned even making a pie ten minutes longer, It's so hard and uncharacteristic of my relationship with my family, I have an inlaw who can't walk and Sept 11 was hard as its anniversary of another death, I went to Church n pleaded for Peace in my family, it didn't completely work out as of yet, spoke to another aunt but can't tell her what's wrong due to status, I sm so grateful for the groceries n clothes I buy my family members, I still believe things will be ok as I always had the best Thanksgivings through life n hope this one goes well despite frequent yelling, last years was boisterous and at Christmas when I put out the Christmas Classics to read from they were interrupted, I walk a lot in the day and at night as it is my Strongest Solace, I still love deeply on as we have many sides to us, and recover in minutes as if nothing happenned but I have the lows I've always had, All my Love, Cath-Erine Isolde Wedolyn to some, quite relaxed now n hoping to share fonder memories of family at this sorrowful yet cherished n happy time of year

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Friendship Zoom Notes

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
1 Limit Distractions----choose certain hours where you focus on important work----no chatting, scrolling, or multi tasking. Let others know you're "unavailable" during this time so you can fully concentrate.
2 Say No---you don't have to accept every request. If something drains you, doesn't match your goals, or you simply don't have the capacity, it's ok to say "no" without guilt.
3 Define Hours-----decide when you start & finish (or when you're available to others), & stick to it-----avoid checking emails, messages, or tasks outside those times so your mind can rest.
4 Pick Your People-----Spend more time with people who support, encourage, & respect you. Gradually distance yourself from those who constantly drain your energy, criticize, or bring negativity.
5 Know Your Worth-----Recognize the value of your time, skills, & effort. Don't feel pressured to do free work, constant favors, or go beyond your limits just to please others.
6 Self-Advocate-----Speak up when something feels unfair, overwhelming, or disrespectful. It's ok to ask for clarification, better conditions, more support, or proper recognition.
7 Define Balance-----Create a clear line between work & personal life. When work time is over, switch mentally to--no work, calls, no thinking about tasks, just personal time.
8 Take "You" Time----Schedule time just for you---reading, walking, hobbies, or simply resting. Treat it like an appointment that you don't cancel.
9 Separate Identity----Remember: you are more than your job, your productivity, or your achievements. Your worth doesn't disappear when you're resting or not "doing" anything.
10 Prioritize Rest----Plan breaks, days off, & sleep as seriously as you plan work. Rest isn't a reward----it's a necessity so you can stay healthy, creative, & effective.
11 Push Back-----When someone asks for too much or sets unrealistic deadlines, calmly explain what's actually possible...offer alternatives instead of silently burning out.
12 Limit Negativity-----Reduce time spent on gossip, drama, complaining, or toxic environments----online & offline. Protect your mind by choosing healthier conversations & spaces.

Types of Boundaries
Rigid---avoids getting close to others, doesn't ask for help or reciprocation, finds it hard to share thoughts, feelings & ideas, leaves before things get too serious, ghosts or leaves with no warning when boundaries are breached.

Healthy----share & receive, has no values & opinions, communicates in a healthy way, puts their needs over others wants, doesn't give to the point of burn out, says no & accepts no from others.

Soft-----over shares feelings, hard to know where you end & others begin, can't say no or always gives in, gives even it hurts, needs praise or approval from others, overinvolved with other people's problems.

Set Boundaries
1 Identify Your Limits----Reflect on situations, relationships, or tasks that make you feel overwhelmed or drained.
2 Communicate Clearly----Be honest & assertive when expressing your needs. For example, say "I can't take on extra work right now because I need to focus on my projects."
3 Learn to Say No----Practice saying no without guilt. Understand that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish but necessary.
4 Set Work-Lift Boundaries----Avoid overworking by setting clear time for work & personal time. For instance, no work email after 7pm.
5 Limit Toxic Relationships---Distance yourself from people who consistently drain your energy or disrespect your boundaries.
6 Create Personal Time----Dedicate specific times in your schedule for self-care & activities you enjoy.
7 Stick to Your Decisions----Be firm once you set a boundary. Consistency is key to ensuring others respect your limits.
8 Monitor Your Emotional Responses-----Pay attention to how situations make you feel & adjust boundaries if necessary.
9 Seek Support----If boundary setting feels challenging, talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist for guidance.
10 Practice Self-Compassion----Remember that it's ok to put yourself first. Protecting your energy is an act of self-respect.

How To Set Boundaries
1 Say No Without Over-explaining---"I'm not available for that"
2 Protect Your Time----"I can stay for 30 minutes then I have to go"
3 Claim Your Space---"Please don't come into my room without knocking"
4 Detach from Guilt----"I'm choosing rest over plans today. That's ok."
5 Redirect the Conversation---"I'm not comfortable discussing that. Let's talk about something else."
6 Hold Your Line----"I've made my decision. I'm sticking with it."
7 Block the Emotional Dumping----"I'm not in the right headspace to take that on right now."

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Depression can make a feeling start to sound like an identity. “I feel hopeless” becomes “I am hopeless.” “I feel overwhelmed” becomes “I can’t handle my life.” When an emotion is intense enough, it can be hard to remember that what you’re experiencing right now is not a complete description of who you are or what your future will be.

Your anger, fear, sadness, confusion, or depression deserve compassion, not judgment. You don’t have to force those feelings away or pretend everything is okay. But you can begin separating what you are feeling from who you are. Emotions can change, even when they feel permanent in the moment. You are still the person underneath them, with strengths, relationships, experiences, and possibilities that one difficult period cannot erase.

What feeling are you trying to be a little more compassionate with right now?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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I’m having a really hard time with the loneliness of chronic illness, especially inside my marriage.

My wife told me I “never want to do anything,” and it hurt because I WANT to do things. I want to go out, have fun, be present, and feel like myself. But sometimes I’m using everything I have just to get through work, school, and the pain. By the time I’m home, there’s nothing left.

It’s painful enough to feel like my body keeps letting me down. Having someone I love interpret that as me not wanting to participate makes me feel like I’m failing her, too.

Sometimes I tell her to go find a friend to do things with because I can’t handle the pressure. I want her to enjoy her life. But I also wish she could see how much I’m already grieving the things I can’t do.

I want someone to check in. To ask how I’m doing and stay long enough to hear the answer. To let me rest without making me feel guilty. I want to feel cared for without having to explain, defend, or prove how exhausted I am. I’m tired of trying to find the right words to make someone understand. Sometimes I think about who I could call when I’m hurting like this, and I honestly don’t know. My dog feels like the only one I can be completely exhausted around without disappointing anyone.

Does anyone else feel this kind of loneliness in their relationship? How do you ask for support when you’re already exhausted from explaining why you need it?

#ChronicIllness #chronicpain #invisibleillness #marriageandchronicillness #feelingalone #supportsystem #mentalhealth #lgbtq #fibromyalgia #ankylosingspondylitis #smallfiberneuropathy

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Busyness

This is my latest read. He speaks so much truth. With so much technology and so many distractions, we can become such busy people that we overlook what’s really important. Learning how to slow down can improve our relationships with others. This book reminded me that the greatest commandment is to love God and love others as we love ourselves. I’m also reminded that loving myself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. This book is a quick read at only about 150 pages. I hope you’ll try it.

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