I have OCD. No, I am not insane.
I am handsome. No, I am not arrogant.
I have tattoos. No, I have never been arrested.
I have big muscles. No, I don’t use steroids.
Before you judge me, take the time to get to know me. My kindness may surprise you. 🩷
Be curious. Be compassionate. Be kind. 🩷
-Danny “Dimples” Gautama
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My boyfriend has bipolar and broke up with me
He said we could be friends and then said I can’t deal with you upset with my health and his mum in nursing home then he said you questioned me why I didn’t sit next to you in church then when I kissed you got upset because you wanted more and I can’t be someone like that. I have non Hodgkin lymphoma and I’m not supposed have stress I can’t sleep and can’t eat much because of it also keep trying to figure out how to stop him from throwing our relationship away
I tried texting but a physicists said my text sounding demanding . We have broken up three times now
Any tips
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Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my life and wondering where I went wrong. I thought I’d have a successful career, a family, a house, stability, and happiness. But right now, things look very different.
I don’t have any of those things, and I’m really hard on myself because of it. I constantly think about the past and the choices I didn’t make that might’ve led me in the direction I always wanted to go. Then I think about the future and dread it because, in my mind, nothing is ever going to change. My negative thinking creates this barrier I can’t seem to get past. I convince myself that things are never going to change for the better.
I’ve had very high expectations of myself ever since I was a child. My goal was to blend in and be like everyone else. I wanted to keep up with their pace and progress alongside them. I never wanted to be left behind. But the thing is, I was dealing with challenges and hardships that I couldn’t understand. I was neurodivergent but wouldn’t find that out until much later in life.
Now, I have a better understanding of why things felt so hard for me all the time. I can see the signs of ADHD and autism. I thought I was just shy and quiet and would eventually grow out of it. It seemed I would get past my fears and sensitivity. But it never happened. Sure, I got by somehow. I did make it through school, earning my bachelor’s degree in journalism. But let me tell you, I certainly struggled to get there.
I’ve always had insecurities. I thought I was too quiet, too nervous, too boring, or too much for everyone around me. These insecurities held me back from a lot in life. And they still do.
My anxiety and depression have worsened over the years. I’ve remained stagnant, still, alone, and just plain stuck in a repetitive cycle of overthinking the worst about myself. It’s just so hard not to compare yourself to other people around you when you watch them get everything they’ve ever wanted in life.
My friends all have stability, relationships, families, houses, independence, and are doing really well. I can’t help but compare myself. It’s hard to see everyone else have a type of happiness that I never think I’m going to get. My mindset has been, well, if it hasn’t happened by now, it never will. And I can’t seem to shake that feeling.
And when I see other people moving forward, I start feeling like I need to make an immediate change in my own life. I want to catch up. I want to figure everything out and find a solution to whatever is making me feel so stuck. It’s almost like I need something to happen right away to make me feel like I’m finally moving in the right direction. I know that kind of change doesn’t happen overnight, but that doesn’t stop me from getting frustrated when I can’t make things happen as quickly as I’d like. It’s hard to be patient when I’m already feeling like I’ve waited so long.
It’s so hard to see others move on while I feel like I’m being left behind. But I’m learning that everyone does things at their own pace, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would be helpful if things were a little easier for me to obtain.
Often I judge myself, believing I am unworthy of happiness, love, and all the things that make life feel good. I have a hard time believing I’ll ever find that.
I know that sounds so negative, but that’s just how I feel. If I’m not there yet, I start to think I never will be. I know that isn’t necessarily true, but it’s hard to see things differently when I’ve felt this way for so long.
I’m just too set in my ways right now. I’m used to being alone in all senses of the word. And I can’t even imagine my life beyond that. I think that someone won’t understand me and will find me to be too much or not enough. And in all honesty, I just feel unlovable because no one, other than my parents, has ever loved me in return.
So, how could I possibly think things will change if I’ve never experienced reciprocated feelings?
It affects every aspect of my life. Not just in love, but in everything. Holding a job is difficult. Having little to no money is discouraging. Living with my parents makes me feel ashamed. There are everyday stressors that build up over time and release into a spiral of emotions that are hard to control.
But I have to remind myself that not being where I thought I’d be doesn’t mean I’ve failed or somehow missed my chance. I know that my life doesn’t have to look like someone else’s. And I don’t have to put so much pressure on myself to have it all figured out by now.
I think the frustration comes from wanting so badly to feel like I’m moving forward, even when I don’t know exactly what moving forward looks like.
I don’t want to spend so much time worrying about where I thought I’d be that I lose sight of where I actually am. But I also don’t want to pretend that those feelings don’t exist. It’s okay to wish things had turned out differently. It’s okay to want more for yourself. And it’s okay to feel frustrated when life doesn’t look the way you imagined.
I just need to remind myself that I’m not out of time. There is still a path to where I want to be. I just need more patience with myself.
What is one thing you wish were different about your life right now, and how can you give yourself a little more patience while you work toward it?
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis
#MentalHealth #ADHD #Autism #Depression #Anxiety #Loneliness #Neurodiversity
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Wild turkeys can fly short distances
11 Girl turkeys cluck
12 A turkey's gobble can be heard a mile away
13 A turkey's head changes color based on how it feels
14 Turkeys have tiny ears on the sides of their heads
R.A.P.I.D. Method-------when you feel reactive or overwhelmed, slow down & take a mindful pause
R---Relax----take a slow deep breath, let your body relax & settle. You can't think clearly when you're tense, so calm first, then act
A----Accept-----Notice what you're feeling without judgement. It's ok to be stressed-----just acknowledge it
P---Pause----stop a moment before reacting. Give yourself time to think things through
I---Investigate----Ask yourself: What's going on? What triggered this feeling? What's the best move?
D----Decide----choose the response that aligns with your goals, values, & what's best for you
10 Cell Phone Safety Tips
1 Sleep away from the phone
2 Store away from body
3 Dial then stretch
4 Avoid using in moving vehicles
5 Avoid weak signals
6 Keep in flight mode
7 Use safe case or no case
8 Use speaker or safe headset
9 Text instead of talk
10 Disregard SAR
6 Phone Rules That Protect My Peace
1 No phones at meals----full presence, no scrolling, just eat
2 Screen-free mornings------start calm, no instant digital rush
3 Bedtime Tech Cut-off------protect, rest, unplug before sleep
4 Mute non-urgent alerts-----choose focus, silence distracting pings
5 Social Media Time Cap-----scroll less, live more, stay intentional
6 One-Task Browsing Rule-----open phone, finish task, exit
You Can Be Kind & Still
Say No when it feels wrong
Not make everyone happy
Stand up for yourself
Make hard choices for your own good
Take days just for yourself
Walk away from toxic relationships
Difference Between Emotions vs Feelings
Emotions: The Spark (Neuro-Chemical Reaction)
1 Automatic & unconscious-----fight, flight, freeze
2 Instant & Fleeting----short-term
3 Understanding---------likes/dislikes
4 Visible expressions...........face
5 Universal emotions....................fear, joy, sadness, disgust, surprise
Feelings: The Experience (Conscious Interpretation)
1 Physical sensations-----body messengers
2 Conscious & cultural------influenced
3 Related or unrelated............tired, hungry
4 Long-term..............settled
5 Interpretation...........making meaning
6 Hidden............internal
7 Varied.....aggression, rage from anger
Inclusion
I----I am welcome here
N-----Nobody gets left out
C----Come & play with us
L-----Let's be kind to everyone
U-----You are special just the way you are
S-----sharing makes everyone feel happy
I-----I can be myself
O-----Our differences make us interesting
N-----Now everyone belongs
Cell Phone Safety & Etiquette
Safe/Respectful/Phone Use
Silence your phone when asked
Keep your phone in a safe place
Check your phone battery level
Not Safe/Not Respectful/Phone Use
Be distracted by your phone
Answer calls from unknown numbers
Talk loud on your phone
15 Online Safety Rules that Actually Work-----Simple, practical tips to stay safe online everyday
1 Don't share passwords-----keep your passwords private & secure
2 Avoid suspicious links-----don't click unknown or spammy links
3 Keep profiles private-----set your profile to private on all apps
4 Limit screen time-----take regular breaks to stay balanced & focused
5 Update devices regularly-----install updates to keep devices secure
6 Review apps regularly-----delete apps you no longer use or trust
7 Use secure wifi------avoid public wifi or use a trusted VPN
8 Report Inappropriate Behavior-----block & report harmful content or users
9 Think before posting-------consider how it impacts you & others
10 Protect Personal Information-----never share address, phone number, or birthday
11 Enable two-factor authentication-----add an extra security layer to your accounts
12 Use strong unique passwords------use a mix of letters, numbers, & symbols
13 Log out of shared devices-----always sign out of public or shared devices
14 Be careful with friend requests-----only accept requests from people you know
15 To to a trusted adult about online issues-----reach out to a parent, guardian, or trusted adult if something feels wrong
Personality of Every Month-----Each month brings a new chapter, a new vibe, a new personality. Different months same amazing vibes!
January-----Ambitious, focused, disciplined, strong, leader.........Big dreams & hard work
February-----hard work, kind, loyal, creative, dreamer, caring...............hard work builds big dreams
March-----optimistic, honest, friendly, brave, independent...........good things take time
April------cheerful, fun-loving, energetic, spontaneous, positive...........life is better when you smile
May------gentle, caring, patient, artistic, thoughtful..........small things bring big happiness
June------calm, intelligent, adaptable, loyal, unique........good energy always
July------emotional, loyal, creative, sensitive, strong.......feel deeply, love deeply
August-----confident, brave, independent, passionate, adventurous...........make it happen
September-----analytical, organized, responsible, calm, reliable..............plan today, shine tomorrow
October-----mysterious, creative, independent, loyal, fearless............spooky vibes, big dreams
November-----kind, thoughtful, humble, supportive, genuine......good people make life beautiful
December------joyful, generous, strong, hopeful, adventurous...............end the year with a grateful heart
6 Surprising Facts about Gratitude
1 It Trains Your Brain-----it helps you notice the good, rewire the negative thoughts, & create a more positive mindset
2 It Helps You Sleep-----focusing on what went well calms your mind & helps you fall asleep faster & deeper
3 It Softens Stress----it shifts your focus from what's wrong to what's right, helping you feel calmer, lighter, & more at peace
4 It Deepens Bonds----expressing gratitude strengthens your relationships & helps you feel more connected to the people around you
5 It Builds Resilience----it helps you find strength in challenges & reminds you that even in hard times there is still something good to be grateful for
6 It Lifts your mood-----gratitude increases happiness, boosts positive emotions & helps you see more beauty in everyday moments
Notice It.....Say Thanks......Feel It......Small Thanks........Big Shifts
Online Safety Rules
1 Keep personal information private----do not share your full name, school, home address, phone number, or birthday online
2 Use Strong Passwords-----create strong passwords & keep them secret.....do not share passwords with friends
3 Avoid Suspicious Links------do not click stange or expected links, pop-ups, or messages
4 Be Careful with Online Strangers------do not share private information with people you only know online
5 Keep your Location Private-----do not share where you live, your area or your location without permission
6 Tell a trusted adult-----if something online feels strange, scary, or uncomfortable, ask a trusted adult for help
7 Be Kind online------do not join mean messages or cyberbullying.....treat others with respect
November Gratitude Era
N-----new mindset
O----open heart
V-----value yourself
E------embrace growth
M----mindful living
B------be grateful
E----energy balance
R-----reflect & rise
Fun Facts about Thanksgiving
1 Thanksgiving is celebrated in the US on the 4th Thursday of November
2 The first Thanksgiving is linked to the year 1621 in Plymouth
3 Traditional food includes turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, & pumpkin pie
4 The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade began in 1924 in New York City
5 Many families watch American football on Thanksgiving Day
6 People often say what they are thankful for before the meal
Fun Facts about Turkey
1 Turkeys enjoy hearing music. Sometimes they even chirp along
2 The color of a turkey's head & throat will change depending on his mood
3 Turkeys have great geography skills & can learn details of an up to 1,000 acres area
4 Turkeys form strong social bonds with their family & flock mates, sometimes traveling in the wild with groups of 200 or more
5 Turkeys have unique voices which is how they recognize each other's
6 When a turkeys eggs are close to hatching the mother will not leave. The mother turkey stays with the poults at ground level to keep them safe & warm until they fly & roost up in the trees
November Facts
1 The word "November" is derived from the Latin word "novem" meaning "nine" because it was the ninth month of the Roman calendar
2 From the farmers almanac November, the 11th month of the year has 30 days & marks the beginning of the holiday season for most folks, even if the winter solstice doesn't occur until late December
3 November brings to mind Thanksgiving feasts, election day, veterans day, & the shift to colder, darker nights with the end of daylight savings time
4 The Anglo-Saxons had quite a fitting name for November. It's usually at this time of the year in the northern hemisphere that cold winds start to chill you to the bone, & as such they called it "Wind Monath" or wind month.
Fun Turkey Facts for Kids
1 Only boy turkeys gobble
2 Turkeys make 20+ different sounds
3 Girl turkeys are called hens
4 They are related to chickens
5 Baby turkeys are called poults
6 Turkeys have over 5,000 feathers
7 Farm turkeys don't fly because they're to heavy
8 Turkeys run really fast
9 Boy turkeys are called toms
10 Wild turkeys can fly
Know Yourself
KNOW and define Your Boundaries
GO TO ANOTHER room if you feel your taken advantage of
ENJOY your Courtship
ALLOW space for Partner to Grow
SET Boundaries for othee friendships with The Opposite Sex (or what applies)
IF THEY or you need help seek it
DO sweet Courteous things, like offering a drive and ride
WALK simply Walk together
DO SIMPLE everday things away from the hustle and bustle
SAY thank you or Sorry
ENCOURAGE them to rest when high strung or frustrated
ENCOURAGE THEM to do things for themselves
DON'T ALWAYS SERVE
Allure
SHARE COMMON INTERESTS TOGETHER
WORK AT CHORES TOGETHER
SHARE MEMORIES TOGETHER
DON'T BE TOO GOOD
BE RESPONSIBLE AND CLEAN AND TIDY
KEEP CLEAN IN MIND SPIRIT BODY
TRY TO WORSHIP TOGETHER
WORSHIP EACH OTHER
GET TO KNOW THEIR HISTORY AND RESPECT THEIR STORY SOME OF ITS SAD
EAT TOGETHER AND EXPLORE OTHER CULTURES
STOP CRUSHING ON EVERYTHING THAT RIDES DRIVES STIVES STRIDES WALKS N TALKS NICE
SMELL NICE
UNPLUG N PLAY MUSIC SING OR READ ON PAPER
PLAY CARDS OR BOARD GAMES
DO HOME REPAIRS N GARDENING TOGETHER
HOST N HOSTESS TOGETHER
WATCH THE RAGE BUT SHOW A LITTLE JEALOUSY
PLAY
2 reactions My medical story began after a major misdiagnosis of hypochondria and anxiety. I would be dismissed and redirected. I was a case of compounded symptoms with no diagnosis. I was accused of hard drug use, but would refuse medications for the anxiety and depression, had a fear of addiction with pain pills and have a past eating disorder. Maintaining a healthy diet and high physical activities kept me healthy.When I was healthy. Coping skills and executive functions were on point for years. Judgement and my choices were mediocre but sound.I paid bills, kept appointment and cared for my family. I have cared for others my whole career. Advocated for years for children and started a DPS with a local nonprofit.
Six years ago, during a shift, something went wrong and I needed to leave. I panicked and had a medical event, at the same time. This was during Covid. The initial assumption made by medical staff and my employer, that it was stress induced. My Dr.s and employers backtracked and juggled diagnosis and annoyances, telling me "it was ALL in my head".Six month later, I am told I have a lime size tangle knot of blood vessels cutting off oxygen to my brain. And now my heart hurts all the time. Meanwhile I'm told it's nothing and Im exaggerating the symptoms. I was put through endless assessments and winding road appointments to justify a diagnosis. to catchh up.Then I'm given the PTSD diagnosis, assuming its domestic, ignoring my pleads again. Then my family intervenes and builds a case against me for entrapment, after my other family had already abandoned me, because I just wanted attention, hypochondriac and a liar. My truths, reveal their truths. And the entire time, I was logging in a diary, so I wont forget again.
All information, my contacts and my relationships are gone. I have been ignored, dismissed and avoided, due to betrayal involvement and accusations. I was isolated and vilified for a chain of events and my lack of coping skills. People have purposefully withheld information from me, leaving me in a confused state for three years now. It is systematic and wrong to do to vulnerable people. Disabilities, should not be compared. An individual with multiple medical and chronic issues and still can have a successful life, while on Social Security. Your life does not end. You are not an assessment.You are not a label and you are not a burden.
Putting individuals into boxes, is a failure from the start. Alternative practices and care must be out of the box, for change. Art heals, Writing heals, dancing heals, strengthening heals, play heals, balance heals and sometimes, swearing your head off at the anger heals. Love heals. Isolation does not heal, shame and scrubbing ones soul, does not heal.Expressing it does.
You should not loose all credibility because you are sick and forthcoming with your struggles. Your life and choices are not erased and handed to someone to diminish. Support staff must enhance and provide steps, for the individual stepping stones, stairs, and be the pillars, to hold up the goal posts. Encouragement and rewards. Not manufactured choas to get an outcome.
Giving a misdiagnosis, not trusting the patients recollection or capacity, and list of symptoms, causes damage to all care for future goals, treatment and outcomes. Giving the individual the truth and the choices, creates trust for repair and care to be successful. I no longer trust the systems in place, because of this. And that has completely jeopardized my care and caused distress.I have to restart daily without a support circle. It is a loop of self neglect at this point. But tomorrow, I will have forgotten.When you go backwards to a clean slate, you loose endless amounts of skills and things you have to relearn.Executive functions, a vague assortment of things.
Observation and assessments must be transparent and true, without any speculation or assumption. Any. For a diagnosis to be valid to the care. The individual has to be included. Any compromise in this chain of command, you lost the diagnosis and treatment. Individuals need alternative means to change, to keep fostering growth and to keep building on what they have lost. And to foster what they gained.
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Hello. Has anyone made a relationship-ending mistake? (overreacted during a fight and got dumped) I’m a very calm and caring person by nature so not my real self at all that was. How do you deal with the regret? How do you forgive yourself?
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