renew

Word prompt of the day: renew
#MightyPoets #hopewriterlife #renew

These past months have found me considering the word joy. More to the point, I’ve been thinking about how we often get in our own way when it comes to joy. No doubt this can happen when serious illness enters the picture. Faced with a long-term chronic condition or an acute health crisis of a friend or family member, it can be a real challenge to see any potential for joy.

Yet each of our journeys offers us memorable and rewarding events. These same journeys test us with obstacles, do-overs, hellos, and goodbyes. This tells me that, no matter what challenges we face, we must not forget how to celebrate ordinary events together--backyard picnics, feeding the birds, or simply wasting time wisely with a friend.

A joyful life encompasses a range of encounters and passages that shape us through pleasure, achievements, doubt, and even loss. From setbacks to success, marriage to divorce, or illness to health, life can shut us down or open us to real transformation that includes joy.

The notion of growing toward joy implies movement – a process rather than a single event or series of happy episodes. It points to a way of living and seeing the world rather than a way of winning or mastering it.

It helps to look at joy as a range of experiences and passages. These are the things that teach and shape us. Our task is to examine what they mean, come to peace with their impact, learn to coexist with the hard parts, and build joy from the whole lot.

Name a few simple pleasures that bring you joy.

This ring signifies renewal, faith and hope.

This ring and it’s male match were GIVEN to us by some friends.

You see our marriage has been through the ringer. Lots of complications on both sides. My own PTSD & CPTSD. Childhood trauma and the trauma from being sex trafficked. I was just surviving... and my husband has an addiction that he hid and while he thought he was managing it well, living a double life catches up to you.

When shit hit the fan in a BIG way, I was COMPLETELY done.

BUT GOD

After being separated for about 6 months we were at a cross roads. A friend told me years ago during a previous difficult marital period that I would regret it if I didn’t try everything reasonable to work it out. When my husband started counseling while we were separated it dawned on me that we had never tried counseling. And I wanted to give it one very last shot.

My husband disclosed his addiction to me at the recommendation of his counselor. And it broke my heart. Even still the severity of the things he had done made me realize that there was really something more going on with him. And now that he was willing to admit it, as long as he was always working and striving for recovery, we could work towards healing in our relationship.

It’s been a very long difficult exhausting heartbreaking growing transforming 3 years.

Moving forward I chose to no longer wear my original ring. Our marriage had to start anew. That ring no longer signified a good thing for me and I didn’t want it as a visually constant reminder.

In a conversation with a friend my husband must have mentioned what was going on regarding the ring situation. Of course I wanted a new one but that was complicated too.

Just a few days afterwards that same friend texted my husband. After talking with his wife and praying about it together, they had decided they wanted to sow into our marriage by offering us their wedding rings and all that they have represented to them.

I was blown away to say the least. I’m tearing up just typing this. I was at such a loss for words, even when I saw my friend at church, almost all I could do was hug her. I remember pulling away and we both had tears in our eyes.

I will never forget that.

We are always striving to grow more but our marriage is so vastly different than it was before. I have been in therapy for my trauma and have grown so much as an individual. My husband has changed into a new man it feels like. I mean.. it’s still marriage and we have issues... but it’s so different. How we talk to each other, how we handle conflict, etc etc. I could go on.

I catch myself sometimes still looking at this gift. This ring that signifies something even more beautiful than its own.