hopeful

• " Work Was A Slow Day Finally... Less Stress But Tomarrow Would Be A Different Story... I Looked At My Paycheck Stub Just Now $400+ I'm Making Right Now... That's What I Was Getting When I Frist Started... I'm Happy Alittle... But Still Depressed And Anxious.. " ° #AnUpdate •°○Skaoi Kvitravn °•°

Today has been rough. My fatigue was overwhelming until about 30 minutes ago - I went out for an energy drink and it worked, for now. I missed a dose or two of my thyroid meds last week while I was feeling poorly. New drug also causes sleepiness and fatigue… and, ironically, insomnia. It's temporary. In a few weeks I should balance out. It comes with aching joints and muscles and difficulty thinking. I'll drink my energy drink slowly, stay hydrated, go for a walk. I can run with this.

I started using my mood light yesterday. I'm starting at 5 minutes to avoid triggering migraines. It takes 20 minutes/day over several weeks to be effective. Some years it works, sometimes I can't handle it without migraines, so we'll see.

Despite the exhaustion, I'm actually feeling, dare I say it, 'good'. More or less. No depression, only mild anxiety, and some stress from fighting the sleepiness. And about work. And my marriage…and my health, but you know what, I still feel reasonably positive, and not over the top. When's the last time I just felt okay? It's nice to have a light mood; that's assuming I continue to stay awake. I don't like using energy drinks, especially because of having mild kidney disease (yep, got that, too!). I should exercise today. Gonna check out 'wall pilates'. Wish me luck <3 #BipolarDisorder #hopeful #Positivity

As you all know #BipolarDisorder is laden with highs and lows. Right now I seem to be on the low like any other time but this time is different. Since practicing gratitude, I have been happier and more positive. While I can't completely escape the mania and depression of this mood disorder I have found ways to manage it besides therapy and medication. Today I am thankful for the simple fact that I am able to receive help for the mental illnesses that I live with. I realize that not a lot of people have access to healthcare and are unable to get what they need. Whether that be a therapist to talk to or a psychiatrist. So while I may be slipping into a slightly depressed episode I know that it does not have to overcome me. I've also made some lifestyle changes as well. Lemon water has been a great mood booster. There is tons of great information out there if you are interested. Remember friends: Stay thankful.

#PTSD #abusesurvivor #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #thankful #hopeful #Blessed #Gratitude

I was able to write my trauma narrative without getting badly triggered. I was even able to go into detail. I feel different but in a good way. I feel like I can say to myself that I survived.

I can move on and while I still have healing to do, I have come a long way from where I was a couple years ago. A couple years ago I was scared, angry and didn't trust people. Now I can be happy, feel safe and trust people a little.

I can tell my survival story without it ruining my day (like it would in the past) and I think that is a huge sign of improvement. Anyone can do it. You don't have to share with anybody, just yourself.

Writing is so liberating, it has been there for me and has helped me process a lot of difficult things. I really suggest journaling. I don't do it every day but enough.

I am sharing this with you so that you can see that you too can take steps forward. Stay strong friends:)

#PTSD #SexualAbuse #SexualAssault #Writing #freedom #hopeful #Abuse #Journal #MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Trying to find a solid diagnosis for chronic pain is so very frustrating. Especially when its been for years. Everytime I think I'm in the right direction, I go back to square one. My friend told me today, "there IS a reason why your body gives you pain all the time. We hv to find out why and you Will!' I hope so. I'm feeling very frustrated & drained at the moment. #tryingtobepatient #hopeful