Gratitude for things large and small
When I let our family dog, a black Labradoodle named Winston out today, I took what felt like a huge risk: I ventured outside with him instead of just letting him out! Walking cautiously into the heat and humidity, I stepped onto the grass fully aware the ground was uneven, and felt it gently give way under my feet. It felt good to be out there, the dog happily rolling in the grass, and to feel the breeze in my hair.
Why is this so significant? Like many of you, I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome with a host of co-morbidities. At 74, instead of enjoying my 'sunset' years exploring the world and enjoying friends, I spend most days holed up in my room, propped in the bed reading, watching TV or writing. I've been inside so much I may be getting moldy. It's a situation that leads to depression but that's a story on its own.
So, why did I venture out on these ridiculously wobbly legs? Besides longing for fresh air and birdsong, I wanted to see if I could find a way down to the swimming pool since I cannot use the steps.
I've studied the side yard, which is uneven, in the past. This time, I may have found a way to address the problem, but it will require assistance. And there is the nexus of the problem. Though my spirit is willing and quite creative at times, my body will not cooperate and I hate asking for help.
It's a disability story we've all lived, isn't it? If our conditions worsen, or we face new problems all our building blocks have to be reorganized to accommodate the new situation. No matter what we're dealing with change is a problem, but it may also bring solutions. If I can help to make it down to the pool on occasion, perhaps I'll be able to do other things. I won't know until I try.