The shower is my safe place. It always has been, water is one of the only things that has ever been able to calm me. With that being said when I have a lot of anxiety or anything hits below a 5 on the emotional scale I can’t handle it and I retreat to the shower where I feel safe. It’s been so bad that I spent 6 hrs in the shower in one day. I’ve tried just listening to water sounds, sitting in the bathroom, listening to shower sounds while sitting in the bathroom but nothing can calm me down quite like sitting in the water. I hate baths and I have well water so it isn’t very costly but this definitely isn’t a solution. I share a bathroom with 2 other people and they need hot water and a chance to get clean. Thankfully everyone in my home understands that when I’ve had a lot going on I’ll be in the shower for at least a few hours. We’re getting a pool put in so that I can be in water and feel calm without using all the hot water. However that only works for a few months out of the year. Does anyone else feel like this or have these struggles? I so want to be the kind of person who can shower in half an hr or less. #safeplace #Showers #water
With Many shower posts being shared... I decided to share one too.
So for many years now (at least 5 years) I have been struggling to get myself to take care of me. Really simple things like shower, eat healthy, cut my nails, get a hair cut. Ever since my depression grew, Going to the shower has been really hard. sometimes I go two weeks without showering, I feel disgusting, but I can’t make myself get in the shower. I told my friend once this, and she was so disgusted that I had to tell her I was kidding. Now a days when I get in the shower, I hurt myself. No, not cutting. When I was little I promised my parents that i would never cut myself. So I have other ways of numbing my emotional pain and making it more physical. I turn on the shower to 50*C or 122*F. So when I get out of the shower, I usually have huge red burn marks on my skin. But I can’t help myself. I can’t stop. The physical pain over takes the emotional pain, and gives me momentarily a moment to breathe and just be, without hating myself.
I haven’t told this to anyone, and no one has ever noticed the burns. They fade away quickly. Every time quicker and quicker. Now a days the marks are only there for a day. The next day they are all gone already, like it never happened. Until the next time.
Now to happier news though, I showered 3 days ago. I didn’t turn the shower temp so high it burned, but instead showered in a little lower temp. 45*C or 113*F. It was still enough to leave my skin very red, but it wasn’t nearly as painful. For a while already I have been trying to make myself shower more, and to stop burning myself. And I thought this was a very big step towards that goal.
So here is the end of my very long, unneeded shower post.
I hope everyone has an amazing weekend, and works towards taking good care of themselves.
I find it a very difficult thing to take a shower every other day so I skip that step and try to get dressed
I have a roll in shower but still transfer to a seat. It’s large and everything is in reach. It still makes me anxious transferring or letting fo of the hand rail to wash my hair. I seem to have become more nervous about it lately. My husband assists, but I feel it’s the riskiest activity I do.
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