TW school trauma, possibly ableism, mention of racism, some caps #venting
I wish to give the exact name of the school, but I won’t. Just know that it is a college prep high school in Illinois.
If I could’ve, I would’ve ran away from the building and never came back. Every time the students would act up, and every time the teacher raised their voice, and every time a teacher was being unfair. If I could’ve, I would’ve ripped the detention slip in half for LOSING A PAIR OF GYM SHOES (detention lasted for 3 freaking hours by the way). If I could’ve, I would’ve skipped that horrid summer gym bootcamp freshman year because I failed on of the three physical tests. ONE. And I was CLOSE to passing!! Gym class was horrible. Like I don’t mind exercise at all, but I have my freaking limits. If I didn’t had the 504 plan, I would’ve gotten DETENTION FOR WALKING one time!!
If I could’ve, I would’ve defended myself to the horrible, good for nothing, power hungry, petty substitute gym teacher and walked away, but no, he would’ve PUNISHED EVERYBODY IN CLASS ANYWAY. Not only was he the teacher of that horrid bootcamp, but sometimes was a substitute in gym class, where I already DESPISE because of their petty good for nothing bull.
If I could’ve, I would’ve escaped all of the lasalles (the name for having to stay 45 freaking minutes after school because of not finishing homework) especially because I live so far away from it and don’t have a car. I wish I could run from it all especially when we were in a group because only ONE of us didn’t finish part of the project. But it wasn’t their fault or our fault, it was the petty a-hole AP world history teacher (which I didn’t ask to be in AP because I was already stressed enough but I GUESS NO ONE CARED) who thought that was a smart idea.
If I could’ve, I would’ve stood up for one of the students who I never liked in middle school that came into the same high school as me to tell him to stop using the n word, but I didn’t because of the fear of being seen as “getting off tract”. If I could’ve, I would’ve told off the ridiculous chemistry teacher (white btw) that he should’ve minded his own business whether us blacks would like to be called African Americans or not. I feel so stupid for even TAKING ADVICE to that..
If I could’ve, I would’ve just ran away for unfairly getting 2 demerits (warning thingies) because I was late because TWO A-HOLES used my stuff WITHOUT MY PERMISSION and for my so called “counselor” for CALLING ME RUDE WHEN I WAS UPSET AND CRYING IN THE BATHROOM AND I WASNT RESPONDING.
If I could’ve, I would’ve dropped out freshman year. But no. I dropped out sophomore year. And I have NO plans on going back or finishing any kind of school now. Nope. Never. No way. Not for me. Absolutely not. Heck no.
I want to speak its name. I REALLY want to give away the name of the school so that everyone knows what a horrible, too strict, good for nothing school it was and so that NO ONE enters there, especially those who are neurodivergent like myself. But I don’t think that I can do that here, so I won’t.
Middle school was horrible, too, but I don’t know which was worse… I could go on and on about middle school, but I would just leave that for another story.