high school

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high school
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    I'm New... And I have problems in life :) anyone relate?

    Here's my situation: I'm in high school and I love my Cross Country sport. It is my life. Those people are my community, my religion, my everything. IF anyone denied me the right to attend or did not allow me to ever do that again in my life ever, I would simply not be able to live without it. IN A LITERAL SENSE.

    I am a minority and my family is not known to have a sport or any exercise in their life. They do not know the joys of a real friendship or a real loving community. They are alone in the US and do not have family members.

    I feel that:

    they do not understand me. They forbid me from going to practice because it is a hassle for them and they prefer I skip practice to attend their church.

    Personally: I am religious, I believe in God. But I do NOT have all the time in the world to sacrifice my exercise time (health), or organizations and events that I am in and attend (like clubs, Latinos In Action, Deca, WCYC, NHS, etc). I am striving for the best and school is demanding for the best. And I demand for the best, but the way I see it is that attending all the sermons is not healthy for me in any spiritual, physical, or emotional way.

    Here's why:

    That church is only full of old Mexican people: I do not identify with them and their problems are not relevant to mine.

    That church has unhealthy times/schedules for me: The church expects me to come on Mondays from 7:00-9:00 pm and it is about a 30-minute drive to my home so I get home at around 10:00 pm. This is not healthy because I need to wake up at 5:00 am and need at least 8 hours of sleep to go to my XC practice (the sport I have a passion for) The same goes for Thursdays. And Sundays are the worst because it is right in the middle of the day and is from 1:30 pm to 5:00 pm. My family always go out to eat on sundays and I am forced to go with them and they take like 2 hours so by the time I get home it is 7:30 pm, where I have a mountain of Homework to do from all my AP, CE, and Honors classes, Clothes to prepare for the next day, Meal preps to do for the week, and trying to go to sleep early.

    I feel that church does not help in any of my problems. I see it as any catholic would. Just a thing I have to attend every three days of the week that wastes my time. I get no social benefit because it is not a community. It is a mandatory thing I have to attend and suck it up, even if it's boring, irrelevant, and not going to do any difference in my life.






    TW school trauma, possibly ableism, mention of racism, some caps #venting

    I wish to give the exact name of the school, but I won’t. Just know that it is a college prep high school in Illinois.

    If I could’ve, I would’ve ran away from the building and never came back. Every time the students would act up, and every time the teacher raised their voice, and every time a teacher was being unfair. If I could’ve, I would’ve ripped the detention slip in half for LOSING A PAIR OF GYM SHOES (detention lasted for 3 freaking hours by the way). If I could’ve, I would’ve skipped that horrid summer gym bootcamp freshman year because I failed on of the three physical tests. ONE. And I was CLOSE to passing!! Gym class was horrible. Like I don’t mind exercise at all, but I have my freaking limits. If I didn’t had the 504 plan, I would’ve gotten DETENTION FOR WALKING one time!!

    If I could’ve, I would’ve defended myself to the horrible, good for nothing, power hungry, petty substitute gym teacher and walked away, but no, he would’ve PUNISHED EVERYBODY IN CLASS ANYWAY. Not only was he the teacher of that horrid bootcamp, but sometimes was a substitute in gym class, where I already DESPISE because of their petty good for nothing bull.

    If I could’ve, I would’ve escaped all of the lasalles (the name for having to stay 45 freaking minutes after school because of not finishing homework) especially because I live so far away from it and don’t have a car. I wish I could run from it all especially when we were in a group because only ONE of us didn’t finish part of the project. But it wasn’t their fault or our fault, it was the petty a-hole AP world history teacher (which I didn’t ask to be in AP because I was already stressed enough but I GUESS NO ONE CARED) who thought that was a smart idea.

    If I could’ve, I would’ve stood up for one of the students who I never liked in middle school that came into the same high school as me to tell him to stop using the n word, but I didn’t because of the fear of being seen as “getting off tract”. If I could’ve, I would’ve told off the ridiculous chemistry teacher (white btw) that he should’ve minded his own business whether us blacks would like to be called African Americans or not. I feel so stupid for even TAKING ADVICE to that..

    If I could’ve, I would’ve just ran away for unfairly getting 2 demerits (warning thingies) because I was late because TWO A-HOLES used my stuff WITHOUT MY PERMISSION and for my so called “counselor” for CALLING ME RUDE WHEN I WAS UPSET AND CRYING IN THE BATHROOM AND I WASNT RESPONDING.

    If I could’ve, I would’ve dropped out freshman year. But no. I dropped out sophomore year. And I have NO plans on going back or finishing any kind of school now. Nope. Never. No way. Not for me. Absolutely not. Heck no.

    I want to speak its name. I REALLY want to give away the name of the school so that everyone knows what a horrible, too strict, good for nothing school it was and so that NO ONE enters there, especially those who are neurodivergent like myself. But I don’t think that I can do that here, so I won’t.

    Middle school was horrible, too, but I don’t know which was worse… I could go on and on about middle school, but I would just leave that for another story.

    #StopSchoolUnfairness #unfair #SocialAnxiety #Autism #HighSchool #Trauma #anger #neurodivergent #WeDeserveBetter #studentsdeservebetter #Stress

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    To Those Who Are Misunderstood, You Are Not Alone

    I lost interest in almost everything, that I lost myself too.

    In junior high school, I, tagged as rebellious, reckless, tactless, extremely “lazy,” and undisciplined, was misunderstood and scorched. None, including the guidance counselors, sought symptoms of my condition. The faculty came up with ridiculous assumptions regarding the causes of my onerous behavior and attitude, which made my reputation even worse. Little did I notice that the treatment I received from my fellow students and the faculty made my mental illnesses worse—shunned from the school community. Yet, during those years, no one knew how hard I was dealing with my personal issues, but I couldn’t utter nor scream for help because even I couldn’t understand my mental state; mental illness wasn’t an acceptable condition. In my senior year, I was in a new academic environment. People around me were fantastic and loving. However, despite their love and support, the chaos inside my head persisted, and my behavior deteriorated. There came to a point wherein my illnesses got severe, wherein I attempted multiple suicides and self-harm, but I survived them. Despite the inner turmoil, suicide attempts, and self-harm, a part of me never gave up.

    After a psychologist conducted a psychological assessment in my new school, my results indicated that I may be mentally ill. There, I realized that I should seek professional help. It took me 5 years to accept the fact that I am mentally ill and took me 6 years to get professional help. After all, I've realized that I was not a bad person, only misunderstood and untreated. The medication and awareness that I received uplifted my mental health. Although there's no assurance that lapses can be completely eradicated, at least, there is progress.

    I am very fortunate and grateful to be surrounded by supportive friends and family who accept and help me with my personal predicaments. Together, they and I saved me.

    #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #HighSchool #Therapy #PsychiatricMedication #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #untreated #misunderstood #Awareness #Positivity

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    * Internal Screaming * 😭🤬

    High school is such a pain in my ass! 3 papers are due today and it's only the 4th school day this term! 😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬

    #Ugh #HighSchool #struggle #teenagers #teenager #Teen #Problems


    When You Lose Time to Chronic Illness

    As I’m writing this, it is the end of Memorial Day weekend. The advertisements are in full swing, and the fact that I just graduated from high school has hit me like a truck.

    I’ve been sick with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension since March. Since March, I’ve been stuck. Stuck in bed, stuck out of school, stuck out of work. I was diagnosed two days after my eighteenth birthday, and being a legal adult still feels like a foreign concept. (The only part of being eighteen I’ve accepted is going to an adult hospital now.)

    All of my friends are throwing graduation parties, and I’ve been doing my best to show up, at least for a little while. Oftentimes, the conversation will turn to summer plans and beyond. My response is almost second nature: “Well it’ll depend on where I am.” Or maybe: “We’ll have to wait and see.”

    There’s a lot of waiting that comes with chronic illness. Waiting for appointments. Waiting for tests. For medications to work. For insurance to cover this or that. I’m working to accept that waiting comes with the territory. And if it means I need to wait for the next stage of my life, well, I can work to accept that too. Maybe. 😉

    #IIH #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension #IntracranialHypertension #IH #RareDisease #chronicallyill #chronicallyillteen #ChronicIllness #CheerMeOn #CheckInWithMe #Waiting #HighSchool #College #Student


    I Graduated!!! #CheckInWithMe

    Sorry I’ve been so MIA for the past week but I had my eye surgery and then a week later was able to walk as the Salutatorian at my high school graduation yesterday! I arrived late and left right after I walked due to fatigue but I’m so grateful and so proud of myself for doing it at all. And for, you know, graduating.

    In other news, I get to try to come down on the diamox (slowly) and see how I do!

    #IH #IIH #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension #Graduation #HighSchool #iihwarrior #CheckInWithMe #goodnews #goodnewsforonce

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    #CheckInWithMe I can’t go to my senior prom 😔

    I kind of knew this already, but seeing as I am recovering from a pretty invasive eye surgery on Wednesday, and I’m still on a very high dose of Diamox so I have a lot of fatigue, going to prom is just not really an option for me.

    I do have some really great friends who want to take pictures with me before they go to prom, and I’m looking forward to that, but I still feel like I’m missing out.

    I don’t know what the point of this post is. I guess I’m trying to reassure myself that like my senior quote, it will all turn out all right in the end. I do most likely get to go to graduation, so wish me luck that my mom and my guidance counselor can figure out all the details for that! 🤞

    #Prom #CheckInWithMe #52SmallThings #Senior #seniorprom #Graduation #HighSchool


    I actually have some good news for once! #CheckInWithMe

    So last Thursday was my first appointment with a new doctor who I see again this Thursday, and the appointment was really emotional.
    With almost perfect timing, my college planning counselor calls to let me know I’m graduating as salutatorian of my high school class! It came as a complete shock to me, because I just considered myself lucky that they were letting me graduate at all, due to me missing the majority of the fourth quarter of my senior year.
    I feel really proud of myself and the hard work that I did put in, and to top it all off, my best friend is valedictorian! 👩‍🎓
    #HighSchool #Graduation #goodnews #proudofme #Proudofmyself #IIH #iihwarrior #CheckInWithMe



    I wish I had money to go to prom with my friends. I lost all my friends in my first 2 years of high school because of all my mental issues so for the past 2 1/2 years I've been alone and depending on my family. I recently spoke with some old friends from middle school and found out they're going to my school for prom. I feel confident, despite my crippling social anxiety that I can have a good time at prom with my friends but I'm low on money.

    My best pet to going to prom is as the following instructs;

    -I use the money my dad sent over to pay for my ticket

    -ask my mom if she has $40 for fabric

    -bring the fabric to my cousin to sew up a dress in time for prom

    -borrow a pair of heels from her cause I also don't have shoes

    -ask another friend to be my escort to the dance

    -and then ask if I can ride with her to the dance.

    I don't really like it because I'm still relying on people a lot and not really doing much for myself but it's my only chance to hang out and make friends again.

    I can only hope and wait until I'm old enough to get a job so I can pay everyone back.

    #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Friends #Prom #HighSchool #money #socialize #plan