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Epiphany #Work #limits #Caregiver #chronic #tamoxifen #HealthCare #Chatspace #cowdens

I was at a social event (yuck) last night and was asked if I’m prepared for the big festival. I hate that question. But I said absolutely. Eyes bugged out all around- one is supposed to complain about feeling overwhelmed. I said I changed the goal posts. I decided I don’t need everything cooked ahead. I simply need ingredients in tbe house, and I absolutely nailed it.
So boys and girls let’s change our goal posts. And let’s nail it!

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Spotlight on a piece of me. – “My View” acrylic on canvas 2021

I never knew cancer could have so many cousins. That the medication to prevent a third cancer round could take my sight.

Out of fear came acceptance and determination, and that made me free in my art, as I paint the way the world appears when my eyes are being jerks. Colors I never felt before come out bright and amazing, feeling warm on the canvas. Freedom to just allow the brush to flow, to see the horizon in my own way, to feel it looking back at me and pulling me into that peace.

Fear became tenacity. Discomfort became a co-pilot. The tamoxifen#tamoxifen retinopathy is a permanent resident in me, but no longer as a thief, but a partner when paint meets canvas.

I’m one in a million with this disorder, but it does not define me. Little pieces of me make themselves visible and valuable in each piece I work on, in all the many forms I see, as my eyes change on any given day.

#RareDiseases