Tryingtochange

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Anxiety/depression and Alcohol

Has anyone else out there experienced alcohol abuse? I feel like mine is worsened typically through anxious/depressive states and through times like this where I have lots of free time on my hands and not working full time. #Tryingtochange #wanttobebetter

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Day 3!

Day number 3 of trying to look after myself. I woke up with mixed emotions not sure how today will pan out .... will remain positive though .... off to play tennis before work ......keep moving forward. #Depression #Tryingtochange #BeUnstoppable

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Making it Another Day

I hate feeling like I keep making progress just for everything to come crashing down around me. Most days I would give anything to have someone to talk to about everything going on. I feel like no one around me understands, so nothing about it matters to them. I hate that I have one person who will tell me that they care, just for them to get angry and upset with me when I get comfortable enough to talk. I’ve been struggling for the last six months to even make it this far, to be happy, to be better for everyone around me. The only progress that I feel I’ve made is seeing a therapist, but even that doesn’t feel good. I continue to have the recurring thought that “everyone would be happier if you were no longer around” I wish this weren’t the case but no one is ever happy to have me around. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I’m so tired of fighting all of this. I just want to be better. #Depression #Sadness #Tryingtochange

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Mother’s Day: hell or being alive

After a huge panic attack when I realized Mother’s Day is coming up, I got thinking. No other holiday has been so sooo hated be me as I play through my deficiencies in my head. I usually don’t go to church on Mother’s Day or I refuse to take the flowers they give out because really, they have no idea how unqualified I am; how I am just no good and my kids deserve better.
But then I decided to hell with it: I am going to think of my good qualities the next few days and write them down. Even though I am not perfect, I have done a lot for my kids. And I am going to focus on expressing my love for the mothers I have learned from. It’ll be a good day and I’ll accept a flower graciously at church.
#Depression #Anxiety #Tryingtochange

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Random

Travelling is something I’ve always enjoyed, something I hope I can do soon. It’s kind of a dream exactly like me wanting to become a surgeon.
Tbh I have these two dreams in my life that is to become a surgeon and travel the world. And obviously to travel I need money! Just hope, someday I travel the whole wide world. Go to all the places I want to. Because right now I live with my parents and am dependent on them for my expenses (because that’s how things work here)
But someday in life I want to travel the whole globe. I want to go to all those places I’ve longed to go too. Just wish that someday was today!
The day I start earning everything will be on my terms and conditions.
I hope to achieve the dreams I have!
#Positvity #Travel #MentalHealth #Depression
#Tryingtochange ##medschool #Medicine #University #Life