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"What's On Your Mind?"
It's funny that whenever someone you know asks you "what's on your mind" and you have a million things on your mind and the only other thing that you can say is nothing. Sometimes there's nothing really wrong you're just tired. Or maybe there is something wrong and you don't really want to talk about it. I never understood why it's so hard to express my feelings sometimes, but then again it's a lot easier to just say nothing. It's a lot easier just bury yourself under the blankets and try to sleep you feelings away, but then again sometimes it's not that simple. I do wish that sometimes being tired doesn't have the mingle with my feeling worthless. I find that there are two sides to my life. I enjoy my alone time, but there are times where I find that these periods where it's not voluntary. I find that I do like to be around people. I also feel the need to push them away because at the end of the day I feel like they will leave me anyway. Recently, I feel a lot of my relationships fail on the basis of trust. I can respect them and their difference at face value, but the Skin Deep values get in the way of everything else. I start to believe there were lies somewhere. Disillusionment follows and then I start to wonder why I care in the first place. To care for someone is wonderful and painful. I hold so much doubt, and for that, I'll end up pushing others away to protect myself. I'm sure they would be fine if I wasn't there in their circle. #MentalHealth #Depression #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #WhatsOnYourMind
