I told myself I would try harder and I have but no one sees it. I know my family doesn't know what I'm thinking but I told them that I was really trying and they may not see it immediately so we talked about why. It's how I talk to myself and put myself down, never leave the house but I have been. I had actual faith in myself for the first time in a long time. It took so long to try, then try again and again but not to give up. Today I feel like giving up. After all day at doctors and pharmacies looking for my medicine in stock somewhere for hours. It started this morning with a call to come in to the doctors office that I may need surgery. I was so upset and shaking all over. So at the end of this day all the courage I had built up is gone. I try to hide my pain and sickness, I rarely say anything. I know my family can see that I'm not well but I tell them I'm fine because I have tried to explain and their actions only hurt more . I think they understand then it's like nothing ever happened #lost #Pain #worry #worthless #Burden #misunderstood #imissme #ChronicIllness #RareDiseases #alwayabadnews #idontwanttofeel
#CheckInWithMe