misunderstood

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    Grow Up?!?!?! 😤😠😡🤬

    If one more person says that I’m too old for this, or that I should be over it by now, or “that’s still going on?” I’m going to completely lose it.
    Way too many people think self injury is a teenage problem and that it’s just for attention and that you’re gonna get “bored” and grow out of it. And when they see me, at 39 years old, still struggling, in fact a lot worse than when I was in high school, they think that it’s my fault. They assume that I just haven’t tried hard enough or done the right things or that I’m just being immature cause “adults don’t do that kind of thing”. It makes me furious, because I know that it’s not me who has failed (well, I mean, I have, but that’s besides the point), it’s the stupid, broken system that has failed me.
    I am fully aware that no one can save me from myself, that I need to accept responsibility for my actions, etc. But this is an actual addiction. No one looks at alcoholics or people with drug addictions and says “really? You’re way too old to be addicted to that!” or “grow up already! Aren’t you tired of that yet?” They pick them up and clean them off and take them to rehab where they’ll spend a month or 2 and come out the other end good as new. What I wouldn’t give to be able to check in some place and have someone take care of me long enough to be able to call myself recovered. That kind of place doesn’t exist, or if it does, I’m probably too old to go there. Not like I could afford it anyway. Rehab, of any kind, really is just for the rich and famous.

    Sorry that this is such a big, long rant…. I was due for a good venting session.
    But seriously? How many of you agree with me? Or, can I just ask- if you’re comfortable with it, could you put your age in the comments? And how long you’ve been self harming for?
    Thanks

    #Selfharm #Selfinjury #Ageism #Unfairjudgement #pleasehelpme #misunderstood

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    High flyer crushes hard #FunctioningDepression #Anxiety #misunderstood #culture

    When I was young I would excel at everything I did. I would work extra hard to make sure I seemed to always excel. I spent my school holidays reading ahead and so to everyone it seemed I had it easy. Eventually I burnt out as I started my adult life. Anxiety and fear of starting anything that I could not prepare in advance crippled me. Anything that seemed like I could not get a hang of it fast scared me.

    Eventually I crumbled under the weight of it all and completely lost 3years of my life where i could not do anything. I eventually got help but since people dont know my story they just look at me judge. They tell me that they expected me to be a "successful" person and nothing came out of it. Its easy to say i dont care what people think of me but i do. In the end it makes me anxious to see people and feel judged. An entire day outside bumping into people i once knew or anticipating the possibility of bumping into them leaves me emotionally and physically drained.

    Starting something always seems daunting as I feel so behind everyone in life. A culture that does not acknowledge mental health makes this so much worse. Some call it laziness, some say its possession and some say its generational curses or family curses. I feel like i am now just rumbling.

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    It feels like a crime being autistic, it sucks feeling so misunderstood | TW siblings, parent, mentions of gender dysphoria, misunderstood

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    I swear, my older sister just doesn’t seem to freaking understand how hard it is for me to let things go and tell apart different tones. She says that she does, but every time she always seem to get defensive about it. Every time I try to bring up about the current situation that is bothering me, she’s already in some sort of negative tone saying “it’s okay, just let it go.”

    And whenever I try to bring up something that may be triggering, she always says that she doesn’t mean any harm. And when it comes to her, at this point I don’t care, I still don’t want to hear that trigger. And it freaking frustrates me for just not giving me a straight answer and instead being defensive like this.

    What’s worse is that she even deals with one of her kids having autism and ADHD. So you’d think she’s understand more, right? And she says that she does, but this crap is just not sitting right with me. 😒

    I already deal with a lot a crap right now. I just dealt with an appeal for why I can’t get a job right now (although I hate my autism being called a disability/disorder), I hate being misgendered as a woman or seen as just a man (I’m nonbinary), I have social anxiety, I cry easily, I dealt with trauma my since middle school and from my mom being mentally abusive (she no longer is anymore, luckily), I’m a perfectionist towards myself for, it’s just a lot. I’m just trying to stand up for myself the best I can, and anytime I do and it seems to backfire or not going anywhere, it feels like a crime for being autistic… 😢

    #Autism #SocialAnxiety #thissucks #misunderstood #why #PleaseStopThis #IWantToMoveOutOfHereAlready #StopMisconceptions

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    Being alone is the only cure #alone #misunderstood #Darkdays

    As the days pass I’m finding myself convincing myself that I’m better off alone. My favorite artist “rod wave” has a new song “alone”. I feel the pain in that song because I too feel worthless Like I ain’t worth ish. Wake up everyday work hard do your best and it’s never enough. No friends. No shoulder to cry on at night. Just always feeling like you always gotta overwork and prove something that in the end never seems to matter anyway. Work sucks. I think I’m not meant to be happy. I believe in God but I feel invisible to him. Like I’ve come so far. And it still feels pointless! I saw 2 rainbows today and I just want to know when will I feel happy! I feel I’m loosing control and I have no place or no one to understand me, love me or accept me! I have no place that feels like home. Im so sad but on the outside you would never know! #nothingleft

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    The one thing life had taught me is that people always leave. Always. It's just a matter of time. I'm tired of people leaving.
    #Relationships #Family #Friends #alone #lonely #misunderstood

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    Childhood trauma is not a necessary factor. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    I see this a lot, and can only speak for those with BPD, but it’s more correlation than causation. Trauma during development can cause a slew of mental health issues down the line that are not even related to personality disorders. I had what one might call an “ideal” childhood, yet this disorder has ruined my life as an adult. Just don’t feel as though you HAD to have trauma during childhood to fit the diagnostic criteria for BPD, because in fact, it isn’t needed for the diagnosis.
    #PersonalityDisorders #Trauma #BPDDiagnosis #misunderstood

    Question
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    Need you advice…. #misunderstood #womenadhd #ADHD #Love &kindness #MentalHealth #Together

    So my husband isn’t a fan of my ADHD meds and wants me to not take them despite the helpful nature they offer me! I am very nonconfrintational type of gal and we really don’t disagree much but this one is one I’m just sure about?! What do you all think?! Please be kind is all I ask!

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    Here I am

    I have no friends due to epilepsy. The medication is so expensive and insurance runs me down. My family doesn't really understand me and have been abandoned by some. #alone #misunderstood #Epilepsy

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    How

    I want to be so many things that I’m not now, & that I don’t know how to become even if I tried. I’d just feel like I was faking it. #Life #Again That’s #exhausting #Cant #wont #alone #misunderstood

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    Idk what to do

    CW: selfharm

    So, over the last 3ish months I’ve relapsed with selfharm 5-6ish times, the last time being a week ago today. Which was also the morning of my therapy appointment for the week, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her in session so I sent her a message afterwards telling her I relapsed again. And so today was the session after that and of course she brought it up which is fine. But idk she’s normally so good at understanding where I’m coming from and making things relatable, etc. but I kinda feel like we’re speaking different dialects of the same language. It’s like she’s 100% focused on stopping any future relapses, whereas I… don’t really care at this point. Sure there’s this tiny part of me that cares and my therapist wants me to put more focus on the part that does care which I get. But just, I don’t like the way she framed everything and idk how to communicate that to her.

    She really is a great therapist, and we’ve worked so well together on other things that like I know this is just a bump in the road, but like, idk what to do. Todays session didn’t go well in my mind and now all I want to do is cancel my next session and stop talking to her about my selfharm altogether. I know that’s not the right way to handle this, but the thought is really tempting right now. I hate complicated emotions and todays session has brought up a lot and I’m honestly just so done.

    #Selfharm #Selfinjury #Relapse #Depression #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Therapy #Therapist #ADHD #misunderstood #DBT #Emotions