Badfriends

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So tired of “friends”

I’m not going to go into the small details because I think unless you know both me and my friend J they don’t matter and I think the big story is going to be long enough but just know there’s lots of little extras. So J grew up really broke but now works in gold mines and does good and also doesn’t manage money good at all. I grew up not able to take any kind of holidays or vacations and because of my physical health I’m on disability and struggling financially. J decided that she wanted to go on a trip to the mountains, a 4-6 hour drive from my house depending on the route, and get a luxury hotel and eat luxury food and enjoy a couple days there. I kept asking if she was sure and repeatedly told her it wasn’t something I’d be able to afford or help pay for and she happily said it was her treat and she wanted to do it and that the money was only a few days of work for her. Skip to the drive and now it’s about 1.5 hours out and I ask her to check directions, she answered but I didn’t know if she was talking about directions or not so when I asked to confirm she got mad and told me I could check it myself if I didn’t believe her. I tried telling her multiple times that I just didn’t know what she was saying yes to but she wasn’t hearing it and just stared out her window ignoring me for a bit. Now cut 3 hours later and we’re both tired, it’s been 8.5 hours of driving, pulling over so she can smoke, and her opening alcohol and drinking in my car. She tells me to pull into the next town to figure out what’s going on, no problem. Next she decided that she didn’t want to drive the hour and a half to actually follow gps and get to the luxury hotel because when she said yes we were going the right way, we were actually supposed to turn and we would’ve been there right away but she read the map wrong, and says she’d rather get any hotel to not have to drive anymore. I asked her if she was sure because she had a 200$ deposit if she canceled the room plus the new one all for 90 extra minutes. She then started screaming at me to pop the trunk so she could get her suitcase, told me she was done with me, and went into the crappy motel and got herself a room and left me sitting alone in the car, 8 hours from home in another province. I sat there for half an hour scream ugly crying because I barely have the money for food for the month and now I had an empty tank of gas, a broken and tired body, one less friend, and I was still so lost. I finally drove away and she sent me a message later telling me how horrible I was for abandoning her in the middle of nowhere and for being a “super bitch for three hours”. So much happened in the car ride but really do little happened for her to decide to just leave and to leave me just sitting there, nothing that warranted that. I’ve had much bigger problems and fights with people without being so hurt by them. She was then trying to send me messages throwing me under the bus for just being a bad human being in general and for doing this to her when she was going to spend so much money on me. I never asked for her to spend money on me!!!! In fact I was more excited about her coming to hang out for a few days than I was about the stupid impromptu trip she planned. I had even told her prior, not all at once, that Tuesday next week is D-day for me because I can’t handle the medical or mental problems I live with daily. I obviously would never want that to change how someone treated me or for a friend to be fake because they know I’m suicidal but seriously, no one deserves this. No one deserves to have someone say “I’m done with you” after you drive over 8 hours for a trip they wanted. The only option I had was coming home. Gas for that was $100 and hotels around were all substantially more and I would have still had to pay gas too. #Suicide #Badfriends #Depression #abandonment

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Feeling so alone.

How do you guys cope with feeling so alone? I recently moved to a new city for school, where I know and 3 months in still don’t know anybody. It’s been super hard to make friends, and my friends from back home have completely cut me off. I haven’t talked to any “friends” in over a month. I don’t know why, I tried keeping in contact but they won’t even answer a message I send. Often, the only message, or Snapchat I get in a day is from my mom or my sister. I just feel so alone, and so sad living here. I like school, but really question what I’m doing here. It’s been so hard. #Friends #Badfriends #alone

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Why does it hurt? #SocialAnxiety #Depression

So we were good being friends and talking, then you stopped for 2 months. I asked if I upset you and you said I did but wouldn’t tell me what or how. Gave you space again for over a month. Now you talk to me like nothing happened, and get offended when I don’t want to talk and say our friendship now feels one-sided? And you take it as me picking a fight not me explaining what you did? I thought I didn’t deserve you as a friend but now I’m thinking you didn’t deserve me #FamilyAndFriends #Badfriends #toxicfriends