Friends

Would anyone like to chat? #EatingDisorders #Friends

Recently I have seen a lot of posts saying, ‘see me not my disability’ or ‘see me not my mobility aid’ and while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I am not against that. But these sayings have been rubbing me the wrong way because if you ignore my disability then you can see all of me. Or if you don’t see my mobility aid, crutches, wheelchair whatever I am using then I am never hanging out outside of my house because I can’t trust you will help me adapt things or to ask about accessibility and that is anxiety that a friend should not put me through if you really understood all of me. Am I in the minority for feeling this way? I would love to here your thoughts.

I am at the lowest point I have ever been. I've tried to fix things with the love of my life, my favourite person. But my lies and arguments have ruined it all again. And he actually wanted to come and get me. He wanted to take me 'home'.

He lives in the UK, I live in the Netherlands. We've had a long distance relationship and have been planning our future for a while. But I lied and argued on a daily basis.

On top of that I've been cutting myself a lot lately. My mental health has never been this bad and now he wants nothing to do with me again. I started smoking again. Even though I promised I wouldn't. I have wasted my money and now I have nothing left.

I'm currently staying at a shelter, which costs me €6,00 a day. And I can't pay for that. So I have asked for help to get in a better financial position. I don't see a way out anymore. I wanted to be with him and I ruined it all.

I've basically destroyed my own future. Because I have no idea how to get financially and mentally stable whilst I have nothing and no one anymore. I would love to get back to work, but I just can't. Besides, who would hire someone who's arm is covered in fresh cuts!? For the past days I've been cutting myself daily. It feels like it's an addiction. The pain gives me a relief. It almost feels good.

Someone told me today to keep breathing and that everything will be alright. But all I can think about is that I don't want to be breathing anymore. I'd rather be 6 feet under the ground.

As a figure of speech, I've already dug the whole. So it just needs to be covered with dirt. I'm so far down that I can barely see the light from above anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I wany my partner back. I want to be with him, but he hates me. My family hates me. The friends I had hate me.

Maybe they're all right. Maybe I'm just a psycho. Maybe I am a toxic, narcissistic, abusive bully. All the while I've been bullied for almost my entire life. I hate myself... And I wish I could cut myself deeper to just end it all. I can't even count the cuts on my arm anymore...

#depressed #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Love #Family #Friends #Broken #Selfharm #Suicide #NegativeThoughts #SuicidalThoughts

The past week I've tried making amends with people from the past. First a very good friend I've had with whom I had a great connection. I chose my relationship over him after he and my ex-partner A.T. had a small fight. My ex didn't want to apologize for his behaviour and after that the friendship basically ended.

I've also tried getting in touch with my grandparents now my long distance relationship has ended. He told me that my other ex told him that my grandparents took his side after the divorce. I believed him and closed myself completely off from them. I sent them a card and some flowers, and last night I found out through my ex that hey threw them away...

My long distance ex has ruined so many things for me. He has destroyed my mental health and my entire life. Meanwhile he's acting like it's all my fault and that he's the victim. But he still has everything and everyone. He still keeps attacking me and told me that no one likes me, loves me or wants me.

I'm trying to move on and forget about it all... but right now I'm so triggered. And I can't find a good way to calm down my thoughts. It's like a war in my head right now. And the thoughts that keep popping up the most is "it's better when I'm dead"...

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Family #Friends #Love #AbusiveRelationship #Relationships #IntrusiveThoughts #NegativeThoughts #SuicidalThoughts #Thoughts

I’ve always felt like I was in between places in life, my friendships weren’t any different. For the last couple of years, I’ve had this feeling that came and went. Even in my dreams, I’ve even said that I was in between places with my friends and that I was somewhere looking for something different. I could never understand why or even say it out loud, but it stands before me almost every so often. I want friends, I want new friends, I don’t feel as connected to the ones I have now, but I find myself loving going solo more than ever before. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve found another level of freedom for myself or that I’ve become so self aware about what I want. I’ve chalked it up to some form of “burnout” in this regard. My last circle of friends taught me a lot in the areas of hurt, growth, and why I liked being an individual. It could be because I was trying to make myself fit with everyone, trying to keep up with everyone. But once I’m on my own, it’s a deepest sigh of relief. I do experience loneliness from time to time, but others than that, I’m ok. That’s why I feel like I’m in between places… #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Friends

I think I've had some good friends in my life, and some recently feel like life lessons. Making friends for me was always complicated. Sometimes it was easy, other times it was not, and that's normal. It seems harder as an adult though. I have no problem being alone, but sometimes I do wish I had at least one person to relate to. In all of my friend groups, I've felt like the odd man out. Everyone else seemed to fit in easily and I didn't. As I got older, I began to take advantage of doing things alone and not relying on others. I learned early not to put all of my eggs in one basket when it comes to friends. That's why I no longer have one best friend, but many. I've been told often to broaden out my horizons with people and go out often, but I find myself being conficted. I can't wait around to get invited anywhere, I find it hard to choose people to invite to things that I'm interested in, on top of all that, I like to linger and wander around. Not everyone wants to do that. So, I find myself going to places alone. The friends that I do have may not always be able, and I have one friend who I find myself drifting from because talking to her is draining for me. Being alone for me is both voluntary and imposed upon, I don't always have a choice. I try to open up to others and it often leads me to want to continue on by myself. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Friends

My discord is Maybean#0444 and I am hoping that maybe someone here would wanna be friends I’m a mess and often struggle with motivation and not many friends.. I’d love to game with example wizard101 is my current game I’m playing alot atm I mostly just could really use some support.. #Support

Has anyone felt that they have lost friends or friendships slowly disappearing since having fibromyalgia? I have slowly started to realize this for myself. I will reach out, but some aren’t just interested anymore. #Fibromyalgia #Friends #ChronicIllness