Friends

Me and my closest friend have grown apart and I need distance but can’t seem to let myself let her go fully. What do I do?

I have to start by saying the reason why It’s so hard to accept myself letting her go is because it doesn’t feel right to do that to such a close friend who I have adored and been with for so long.. It just feels so wrong.

So me and my close friend of 8 years have started to drift apart. We really have nothing in common and our interests and life stages are so different that when we talk about stuff, nothing really turns into a conversation. If I start talking about stuff that isn't that interesting to her the talk usually ends quickly either by some silence and then trying to change the topic or her just totally shutting me off when it comes to stuff she doesn’t care about or just her not really paying attention. If she talks about her stuff I try to get into it as much as I can but if it’s about something I don’t know anything about it doesn’t go anywhere and she usually gets upset by me not knowing everything and me having to ask her often “What’s that?” or “I haven’t heard nor know about it tell me more” makes her not wanna talk about it anymore since It’s not really a conversation if she has to explain everything to me (Well it could be a conversation In my opinion but it’s not really fun to her when she has to explain stuff that I don't know about that much, but thats okay since It prolly gets tiring at some point) and I can’t engage to it as much since It’s a new thing to me.

And since we are in different life stages and I would also love to talk about stuff I wanna do or ask her about stuff like that and more simple stuff sometimes since we can’t get into our interests without awkwardness and sometimes even getting into a disagreement or just going straight into a dissention makes it hard to connect in any way.

I feel so drained after we hangout or talk and often even anxious and feel bad about myself after seeing her and that makes it really hard to want to hangout with her. I feel like now everything is forced with her and it makes me so upset. She has been my closest friend since forever and I know there are ups and downs in a friendship but now that we have gotten older and I have started to respect myself as well I started to accept that some stuff she does isn’t okay towards me, and it’s not because she's a bad person or a bad friend I just don’t think she’s the right person to me.

But the thing is she asked me if I wanted to hangout on the weekend and I said okay I think I can and we talked a bit on a call after a long time and tried to plan a bit but after the call I just felt anxious.

We have changed and become different people with different interests and opinions and even our personalities have changed a bit and our dynamic just doesn’t work out.

Mostly the reason why we are drifting apart is because we have changed as people and we just don't have the same spark anymore and haven’t had it in a year i’d say but now it’s bugging me because I wanna just let it go and let it flow in a natural way by taking distance (which I/we have been doing) but I have come to the point that I wanna just let it go and stop forcing myself since it’s doing more bad to me and to the little connection we have left.

But I'm scared to do that, especially because she has been having so many problems with her other friends at her school. At first her new friends dropped her and now her much closer

friend of like half a year started to hangout with a new friend and also kind of pushed her aside so the idea of the friend of 8 years also drifting apart sounds horrible. But also the idea of hanging out next weekend or just in general right now makes me feel so anxious still even after I accepted the fact that we have drifted apart.

But also taking the distance right after we hang out also feels shitty since it’s like she's having a hard time with her other friends, we hangout, and then right after hanging out we start drifting apart more since I need more distance sounds SO HORRIBLE! I’m not even fully sure what’s going on with her and her friend but I know the friend said to her something about how she doesn’t like when my friend acts rude and they had a little fight over it since my friend didn’t get it and got upset about it but apparently they made up face to face and everything was good with them but still now they have drifted apart a bit and my friend is so upset about it and also about how so many people in her school and other people in her recent life have been friends with her and then dropping her or coming and going or just taking distance all of a sudden after love bombing her.

She tells me this stuff and I'm so upset for her and I try to cheer her up but I don’t know what to do since we are also drifting apart and I want more space and when we hang out it never works out.

During this year we’ve been a lot more distance naturally like both of us just having our own things and seeing once a week or once every two weeks and I thought that was enough and us seeing a bit less and then seeing each other every in a while would make our hangouts still fun or even more fun since then we can catch up and talk about new stuff to each other but even when we haven’t seen each other in a long time we don’t get on too well and can’t seem to have any type of spark in any conversation or just by enjoying each others company silently.

What should I do, should I just go on with our weekend plans or not? And also what should I do in general?

I might have written something wrong or explained stuff badly since english isn’t my first language so hopefully people get this even a little bit!

#Friends #Advice #Anxiety #MentalHealth

I’m here because I’m struggling with depression, anxiety, and academic burnout and it’s really impacting my friendships. I have no energy or desire to hang out or talk to my friends, and they just confronted me about being a flake and not reciprocating the energy they are putting into our friendship. They are right. And it just fills me with so much guilt and shame to know that I’ve been such a distant and disengaged friend. As much as I want to do better and prioritize our friendship, I struggle just to get out of bed every morning. I’m trying my best just to be okay with myself and regulate my emotions and it’s so incredibly overwhelming to even think about hanging with friends. Can anyone help me? #Depression #Anxiety #FamilyAndFriends #Friends

Is there anyone who would like to connect with me? I’m struggling with depression and anxiety and trying to find a support group of friends. I’ll be there for you too. I live in Chicago but am open to speaking with people outside of this area.

Thank you

#Friends #MentalHealth

I’m new here and open to making new friends on here. #Friends

Hi! I am new to this do I don't really know how to stars but I've beed dealing with depression since i was 11 i am now 14 and still dealing with it. Lately It's been worse again you know the feeling when you just finally got out of it and then you fall in again. Well I've been having hard tine dealing with self harm and suicide thoughts to so i don't really know what to do with myself. I have a therapist but for some reason I am so afraid to cry infront of her and then I end up not telling her what is actually happening. But I have a problem with my friend and I really hope I am not the bad Guy in this. So if I can I will just tell the story and I hope you can tell me what to fo cuz idk. So me and my friend were friends for a year and a half and we were kind of very toxic she lied to me for a month for being pregnant and showing me fake test but i have always forgave her for all of that. We Both made mistakes. Well in August she gave me a promise to not forget about me when she goes to a diffrence school (she is a year older). And know since september i have not seen her almost twice and i ask her every weekend if she has time but she always says she is busy and goes out with other friends and she in not only ignoring me but my two friends too its been happening for about 2 months and we've had enough tomorow we finally convived her to hang out with us but we are not really sure she'll come we want to comfront her. Because she's been ignoring all of our texts if she has time ghosting us ignoring us and telling us she is busy meanwhile she's been hanging out with only two other friends all the time. If she doesn't want to be my freind i want her to tell. well tomorow we are going tk comfront her about this and we'll see what happens.#Friends #feel

Would anyone like to chat? #EatingDisorders #Friends

Recently I have seen a lot of posts saying, ‘see me not my disability’ or ‘see me not my mobility aid’ and while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I am not against that. But these sayings have been rubbing me the wrong way because if you ignore my disability then you can see all of me. Or if you don’t see my mobility aid, crutches, wheelchair whatever I am using then I am never hanging out outside of my house because I can’t trust you will help me adapt things or to ask about accessibility and that is anxiety that a friend should not put me through if you really understood all of me. Am I in the minority for feeling this way? I would love to here your thoughts.

I am at the lowest point I have ever been. I've tried to fix things with the love of my life, my favourite person. But my lies and arguments have ruined it all again. And he actually wanted to come and get me. He wanted to take me 'home'.

He lives in the UK, I live in the Netherlands. We've had a long distance relationship and have been planning our future for a while. But I lied and argued on a daily basis.

On top of that I've been cutting myself a lot lately. My mental health has never been this bad and now he wants nothing to do with me again. I started smoking again. Even though I promised I wouldn't. I have wasted my money and now I have nothing left.

I'm currently staying at a shelter, which costs me €6,00 a day. And I can't pay for that. So I have asked for help to get in a better financial position. I don't see a way out anymore. I wanted to be with him and I ruined it all.

I've basically destroyed my own future. Because I have no idea how to get financially and mentally stable whilst I have nothing and no one anymore. I would love to get back to work, but I just can't. Besides, who would hire someone who's arm is covered in fresh cuts!? For the past days I've been cutting myself daily. It feels like it's an addiction. The pain gives me a relief. It almost feels good.

Someone told me today to keep breathing and that everything will be alright. But all I can think about is that I don't want to be breathing anymore. I'd rather be 6 feet under the ground.

As a figure of speech, I've already dug the whole. So it just needs to be covered with dirt. I'm so far down that I can barely see the light from above anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I wany my partner back. I want to be with him, but he hates me. My family hates me. The friends I had hate me.

Maybe they're all right. Maybe I'm just a psycho. Maybe I am a toxic, narcissistic, abusive bully. All the while I've been bullied for almost my entire life. I hate myself... And I wish I could cut myself deeper to just end it all. I can't even count the cuts on my arm anymore...

#depressed #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Love #Family #Friends #Broken #Selfharm #Suicide #NegativeThoughts #SuicidalThoughts