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    BPD & Fear of Abandonment

    As a result, the fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments, sometimes abruptly cutting off, as well as making frantic attempts to hold onto relationships. These overly intense or erratic behaviors, in turn, often push loved ones away.#BPD #MentalIllness #abandonment


    Crying and #PTSD

    Does anyone else with #PTSD go through random bouts of crying? I spent some time earlier today shaking and crying thinking about the #SexualAbuse and #SexualAssault I went through. Afterwards, I felt a little better but very confused. Is this normal, to randomly cry? The reading I've been doing says yes but it makes me feel like I'm going backwards in my healing. Can anyone offer any advice?

    I try to reflect on all that I've survived such as abuse and abandonment but that gets hard. It always triggers something. I appreciate all the help.

    *Thanks to everyone that commented on may earlier post about severe depression. It warms my heart to see how people can come together and offer advice and support :)

    #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Selfharm Survivor #suicideattemptsurvivor #abandonment #checkin #help #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Cryingspells


    Getting over someone

    Hi I suffer from BPD and was in a relationship with a guy for about 5 years. It ended about a year ago and he moved on with another woman I think before I knew it was over. I have run into them and they were really mean, calling me a psychopath etc. I am having a really hard time moving past the pain. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them. He said he loved me for 5 years and then turned on me. It's like he has turned into a completely different person. #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #abandonment


    #struggling #lonely #abandonment

    Lately I've just... been so cut off from the community. I don't have transportation anywhere and none of my friends are ever free to see me. The closest friend lives a half hour away from me and she claims she can't come spend time with me ever. I've got abandonment issues that are really prominent right now. Every day is the same... I wake up, eat something, mindlessly scroll thru Twitter and FB, eat something again, and then go to sleep.

    My friendds never message me to say hi, comment on my posts, or try to make plans with me. I feel invisible to the world outside.

    I'd give anything to go to a coffee shop with a friend for a nice iced tea and scone, or go to a metaphysical shop to look at pretty rocks. Or maybe go see a movie, even by myself would be nice. Anything to give me some time away from this nightmare apartment where there are bugs and a leaking bathroom ceiling. I'd love for someone to just... hug me and mean it. You know, one of those soul smothering hugs that lasts long and feels so comforting.

    I took my night time meds. 6mg of Haldol too. My back really hurts tonight though. I'm hoping in an hour the Percocet kicks in and I can lay down without tears in my eyes. And I need some restorative sleep. I've been up all night for the last few nights and anxious and twitchy. I keep just chain smoking into stupidity too. I need to quit that habit but its the only thing I've got to keep me from being completely paralyzed from the stress. Its a terrible habit but I suppose I do it because its got benefits. But are they worth the OTHER health issues like my moderate COPD? No. No its not.

    What do you do when you're lonely?

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    Have you ever been told by a therapist that they cannot help you?

    Losing a therapist can be one of the most painful experiences to go through. I know because it's happened to me. In my case I chose to end the relationship because she acted unethically, but often this isn't the case. Often a therapist has the ethical quandary of ending therapy because they don't have the necessary skill set to assist you, even they care about you and have connected with you on a deep level. The right thing to do is to refer out, but it doesn't make the sense of abandonment or grief feel any better.

    How to Cope When Your Therapist Tells You They Can't Treat You Anymore

    Have you ever had a therapist tell you they cannot help you anymore? Were you able to find a new therapist who was better suited to your unique needs? Share your experiences below.

    #Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Therapy #abandonment #Loss #Grief

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    Guide to being a SURVIVOR!

    #ChildhoodAbuse #abandonment #Rape #terror #Depression ….

    When I was a small child, my father #Abandoned me without a goodbye. Mother had #Manic depression, and we were left poverty stricken. My clothes were holey, #filthy and #Hunger was a constant.
    I lived in #terror being 6 yrs old, alone and subjected to constant #Abuse by strangers in my house.
    I knew I had 2 choices #fight or #Die if I was going to win the ring of #Horror that had become my life. I chose to fight, to do what I needed to do, just to buy a pair of shoes. I had none. To cut a long story short, I want whoever is reading this to know that no matter how horrible, #Terrifying your life is right now? Take back your #courage , and #fight for what you want.
    I’ve done more than #survive severe #Childhood trauma, I’m a #MentalIllness survivor too. I’ve excelled on my own, through my determination to get out of the hell hole I was in: like: meeting and hugging Nelson Mandela. Raising money for victims of crime, importing and exporting art and furniture, travelling to most of the countries in the world, making friends and connections on my own. owning my many businesses, and selling them for profit. Studying and being qualified in the science of the addicted, mentally Ill brain. Qualifying as a mental illness and addiction counsellor, raising 3 kids who’re well balanced and happy .
    I’m now a YouTube influencer, my channel focuses on mental illnesses. Now, I’m teaming with MIND uk, to raise money for the mentally ill people who can’t work.

    You are a survivor, you’re a magical, strong, brave, fabulous person.
    Go for whatever you want, because you can. You can, no matter what ‘they’ did or said.
    Do it! Your life is yours. Please take it back.
    I’m with you.



    How do you heal the wounds of being abandoned? I was physically abandoned but this can apply to any form of it. #abandonment #PTSD #Anxiety #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #Trauma


    Coping Through Father’s Day

    My sis and I had tears at the end of the mass after the priest prayed for the dads and said the St Michael prayer. I wasn’t able to finish the prayer because I had tears and so did my sis. So, to cope, my sis looked at me and touched her imaginary mustache lol
    #Grief #copingskills #Anxiety #CPTSD #abandonment

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    Grieving the loss of a person who is still alive…

    This goes for the person you were, or the person you could have become. It also goes for those who lose a relationship through divorce, non-communication, or estrangement of a family member, or through illness, dementia, or due to drug treatments for serous illnesses, those treatments that alter a person. A broader sense of grief: “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” #Grief #Loss #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #abandonment #Cancer #cancersucks #Drugs #mind

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    Nowhere to go from here

    My wife just blew up at me. We need to communicate better, she said. She has a habit of telling me what negative thoughts I am thinking and feeling, and then adding, "well am I wrong?" to it. This is years in the making. Essentially, it happens when she asks me a question or tells me about something, and my tone of voice sounds negative to her, or my face or body language looks negative.

    I have chronic pain as well as deep depression, so it is difficult for me to convincingly put on a happy face, or speak with joy in my voice. But I do try my best to speak in neutral tones at the very least, and I have thought that I have a resting face of a neutral mood or higher as much as possible.

    It has been building for a long time. I am struck out of the blue most times when she tells me what I am thinking, and how unfair that is, and paints me as the bad guy and her as the innocent one. In the early days, it would just shock me, and sometimes confuse me. In the last couple of years, it just makes me angry and defensive. We've had plenty of arguments about it, but no agreement. She doesn't see it as mind reading because she says "I 'feel like' you were disgusted by what I just said, and you shouldn't be", or "I 'feel' that you think I'm stupid just because I did X, or Y". She says since she uses the word "feel", she isn't mind reading, and so it's up to me to tell her if she's right or wrong. Well, I have been telling her she's wrong for over 40 years now, and that only makes her angry and defensive. I told her time and again that I get mad when people try to read my mind and put words into my mouth. I tell her to skip saying the part about what she is so sure that I am thinking, and just ASK ME what I am thinking, instead. Ninety percent of the time, I am not only NOT thinking what she thinks I am, but I am thinking about some other subject altogether. Then when she accuses me of thinking some negative thing, it hits me out of the blue, and I register it as an insult. I asked her why she can't just ASK me what I am thinking, or ask me how I am feeling. I would welcome both of those if they were honest questions. I would feel like I was cared about. That makes perfect sense to me, but she doesn't see it that way. She says that she's just being honest, and that she IS asking me how I feel, or what I am thinking, when she tells me what she feels like I am thinking. We can't get past that. So she got louder and more accusatory, and then angrily walked out.

    I don't know what to do. I am battling Major Depressive Disorder, CPTSD, Anxiety, ADHD and severe Chronic Pain. I am doing the very best that I can. I am on disability, and I fill my days and evenings reading books on my various diagnoses, learning as much as I can, so that I can better control, or adapt, or adjust to the reality of my life, and I do feel good about that. I have tried to share some of this with her, both verbally, and by sharing articles with her via email. She seems stand-offish about it, at best. When I ask her outright if she wants to learn more, she swears she does, but she has a life, therefore she just doesn't have the time or energy to read much about it. I told her a few minutes ago that I will stop burdening her with it, and will stop sending her articles and such. She rebuffed that idea, but added again that she just doesn't have the time. She said she is doing the best that she can in trying to deal with all my problems, and she doesn't have the energy or the will to do it any more. She's "had it."

    She came back and brought up another time recently that I was unreasonable, saying that she had told me something about her job, and I had reacted with sarcasm and disgust. I remember it well. It was just the opposite. She told me that her employer was giving $50 bonuses to anyone who got a Covid booster shot, and I responded "wow, that must be nice. Go ahead and do that." She and I both agree that that's all that I said. But she says I was being sarcastic, and spit the words out like venom, and I thought it was disgusting. I remember calmly saying those words, genuinely happy for her to get $50 just for getting a shot that we both were going to get anyway. The difference, more than likely, was the fact that during the time that she was unwinding after work and telling me bonus, as well as about the rest of her day, I was in a pit of depression, and I was in a ton of physical pain from my legs and my back. I know that had to have affected the tone of my voice, the look on my face, and my body language. But I don't talk about the pain, because it would sound whiney and redundant. I was just sitting there listening to her, and I thought I answered appropriately and honestly. Anyway, that night, after I had answered her, she responded by telling me what (she believed) I was thinking and feeling, and she wanted to know what my response was. My response was "that's not an argument I am willing to have right now." To me, I was angry that "it" was happening again, and I could argue about it like so many times before, or I could choose not to. I chose not to argue. To her, I had just insulted her, and said she isn't worth arguing with, and since I had not argued, then what she had thought about me must indeed be true.

    If (and when) she "reads my mind" again, and assigns various negative thoughts and feelings to me, we could bypass all of this trouble if she could just hold those 'mind-read thoughts' inside, and just ask me two simple questions, instead. First, "how are you feeling?" And second, "what are you tinking." I will gladly and honestly answer her. But I just can't take any more veritable accusations for thinking and feeling certain ways, and then be expected to explain or defend myself, meanwhile letting it roll off me like water off of a duck's back. It's not an argument I'm having anymore.

    Thanks for listening.

    #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #CPTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #ADHD #Autism #BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceSyndrome #AutismSpectrumDisorders #TreatmentresistantDepression #TRD #ASD #anhedonia #ChronicDepression #ChronicPain #SpinalStenosis #GAD #Sadness #CombinedPresentationADHD #SmilingDepression #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Disability #MentalHealth #Insomnia #DiabetesType2 #Diabetes #Asthma #Hypertension #Hypervigilance #nerveandjointpain #HearingLoss #Grief #generationaltrauma #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #TraumaRecovery #Trauma #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #MedicalTrauma #IntergenerationalTrauma #Trauma #SexualTrauma #traumasurvivor #Survivor #EmotionalAbuse #ChiildhoodSexualAbuse #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #PTSD #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #ChildhoodAbuse #ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #RAD #attachment #Childhoodneglect #attachmentdisorder #ChildAbuseandNeglect #FearOfAbandonment #abandonment #Suicide #SuicideLossSurvivors #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #PassiveSuicidalIdeation #suicidal #Depression #MajorDepression