Family and Friends

I saw this question in my Wife’s office this week and I instantly thought how profound and powerful it was.

“Why am I saying yes to this?”

How many times and situations would thought have been helpful. I hate saying no to people because I don’t want to disappoint them. Yet, often by saying yes I am disappointing myself.

I intend to start asking myself this question, often.

#Depression

#52SmallThings

I absolutely am enamored about my hometown. This is Biloxi.#mississippiriviera #tourists #militarybase #Romance #FamilyAndFriends

A gentle reminder in case you need it.

A nurse walked into my room in the coronary unit this afternoon and said, “You’ve been here before”. I reminded her I was here 5 months ago having a triple heart bypass.

She was shocked to learn I had been hospitalised with compartment syndrome in October and now back to have a device fitted inside my heart to prevent strokes.

Last night was pretty rugged. Every breathe in was painful and difficult. They treated the symptoms overnight and today when the surgeon saw me he said “I know exactly what’s the problem”. Such reassuring words. He explained that having had instruments inside my heart has caused it to become inflamed. He prescribed some medication that will ensure it is all better within two weeks.

I am so grateful for caring and skilled medical professionals. Tomorrow I should be discharged then it’s two weeks rest at home. I am surrounded by love.

It’s surgery day. I am really not looking forward to another cardiac surgery but the fact I am at a 500% increased chance of having a stroke means the surgery is imperative.

My family is quite nervous, especially when my recent surgeries have had complications that brought on a “code blue” call.

I am trying to look at the big picture. There are only two surgeons in Sydney who can do this procedure. The wait time is usually 9 months, I have only waited 4 weeks. And God is in control. Let’s do this.

I was thinking about 2022 recently and it was a year like no other I have experienced. 5 days before I was due in court the case against me was withdrawn due to the overwhelming factual evidence we had to prove my case.

After this it was 6 surgeries in 5 months and twice I came very close to dying. As 2023 loomed my goal was a surgery free year. Well that goal has been broken as I am scheduled for another heart operation soon. And that’s ok. This surgery will significantly reduce my risk of having a stroke.

As I look back over my life I can give thanks for the hard times, the valleys. They are unpleasant when you are in them but we can learn so much from them.

I love this song by Eli. It’s called Valleys.

Lying at the bottom
I can clearly see the top
Pressed against this firm foundation
I count none of this as loss
And as I struggle up this mountain
With every bloody knee
You know I'm often prone to stumble
But it's this rock that catches me

And it's this rock that tells me
That's what valleys are for
It's from here that we measure
Just how far we must go
You don't know how tall you stand
Until you fall

Today we had our 1000th member join this group. When I started this group I deliberately decided that it’s not a competition to see which group had the most members. I didn’t want it to become a place for theological debate.

What I envisioned was a safe place where people who identify as Christians could be real, honest and find support for whatever struggle they might be facing.

Several things have surprised me on this journey. The quality and sincerity of support people have shown to each other has been so sincere, compassionate and devoid of judgement. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

I have been surprised by the depth of honesty people have had the courage to bring. I often say in this group I am in the presence of champions here.

Thank you everyone for hanging in with each other as we stumble along this journey we call life. I have been so enriched by knowing you here.