In the Spring time I often struggle between "Yes! The weather is good! Pretty flowers! Sunshine!Everything is good!!" And "F**k, If I get more energetic it also means higher drive which means also more pressure building in the bottle and higher chance of relapse". Just 'surviving' or 'managing' feels safer than riding the Spring and Summer high.
#suicidality #Suicide #Selfharm #Selfharming #Depression #depressed #suicidal #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #bipo #bipolarpersonalitydisorder #Anxiety #anxious