bpdandmeth

I read these 'thoughts'.... These questions and stories' people post.... Then I read the comments that are left behind. ((Very few I might add I'm sure many people are surrounded by blood right now just waiting for someone to comment on their post, waiting for someone to follow them or push the little heart button option. Just waiting for someone to give a fuck about them... Anyone, anywhere. When they sit in their room alone it made sense that no one cared at least, but now they're on the internet... The World is watching . The entire world could comment or could give a fuck but I see posts like "I'm going to kill myself" that were done a week ago... Not one comment...,no one even stopped long enough to hit the like button.)) Lol..... Aahhh..now back to the comments that ARE left behind. They make me laugh and roll my eyes. So generic.... So candy coated....You come to this place to find truth, answers...To try to get thoughts out of your head that keep spinning around and around and around and AROUND, driving you slowly insane .... It''s just another fairy tale full of bullshit.. #haha Long nights go by so fast. #bpdandmeth

So tired of feel like I work circles around trying to keep my self calm threw a day, always thinking about ways to fix tomorrow's next blow up, but it dosnt just depend on me, I feel like every one plays into my anger, even if its to spike it! I feel like they look for the episodes sometimes, cause no matter how many times I discuss way to avoid it.. They never listen, and do the same thing the next time, and wonder why they got the out come they did! They make me feel like I'm crazy, they make me feel like I'll never be okay. They treat me as if I can change something I can't always change, especially with a bad situation to start the episode. They will keep it going, literally tell I can't control my self sometimes. I have a drug abusing problem, I feel like I will never truly be clean trying to deal with every one else's demons as well as my own.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdandmeth #Bpdisexhausting

So tired of feel like I work circles around trying to keep my self calm threw a day, always thinking about ways to fix tomorrow's next blow up, but it dosnt just depend on me, I feel like every one plays into my anger, even if its to spike it! I feel like they look for the episodes sometimes, cause no matter how many times I discuss way to avoid it.. They never listen, and do the same thing the next time, and wonder why they got the out come they did! They make me feel like I'm crazy, they make me feel like I'll never be okay. They treat me as if I can change something I can't always change, especially with a bad situation to start the episode. They will keep it going, literally tell I can't control my self sometimes. I have a drug abusing problem, I feel like I will never truly be clean trying to deal with every one else's demons as well as my own. #bpdisexhaustin #bpdnightmare #bpdandmeth #boarderlinepersonalitydisorder #BPDtriggers

I wonder sometimes if I am trying to make myself feel better or punish myself?? Anyone have the same question?
#bpdandmeth #isthereadiffernce

I have bpd, anxity, boi porl2 and depression. I have been lost in my addition for almost 16 years, for one drug or another..I have been in a handful of detoxes, Hospitalized numerous times for suicidal attempts, and thoughts of suicide. The last 4 years have been harder on me since I got addicted to meth, it makes my bpd and Boi polar2 and anxiety even more, intense rage out burst more often unexplainable breakdowns an over all it makes my illness harder and more miserable to deal with. I just got kicked out of a shelter\ program that would have helped me tremendously.. But I can't shake my addiction and ended up relapsing a week and a half before my 6 months this would have been the longest that I have not done any drugs in 16 years. I am beating myself up for the relapse and feel hopeless that ill never overcome my addictions.. #bpdandmeth #helpme #OnedayAtaTime #tryingtostaysober #mentalillnessandaddition #paryingformysobriety