Growing up the hardest thing for me was accepting that I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough to make you want to win the battle of addiction.

I wasn’t enough for you to choose me and that’s something that will hurt me forever. Now that I’m grown I’ve come to understand that Drugs are like a chaotic vortex that sucks in the vulnerable and the helpless and unfortunately mum that person was you.

You allowed yourself to become captive in its grasp and allowed it to consume you and subsequently ruined many lives in the process.

Being the child of an addict bares its own consequences, the emotional turmoil I’ve faced from the lies and deception from you mum should be enough to make me hate you forever but you are my creator, for that I am thankful and I can’t take that away from you.

I am your daughter, your little girl and yet you can lie so easily to my face, time after time you betray me and crush the last remaining bits of trust I have left and then expect me to be waiting for you with open arms.

Mum I’m lost. I try to remind myself that these are the actions of an ill and addicted mind but ultimately YOU chose this path. No one forced a pipe into your mouth and that’s something I struggle to get my head around. If your 3 heartbroken children isn’t enough to make you stop then what will? At this rate it will be death.

Mum why wasn’t I enough? :(
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