forgiveness

Hi friends, my life has been a whirlwind since I last posted on here. On my last post, I wrote about Healing Father Wounds because it finally occurred to me that a lot of the dysfunctions, miscommunication, and disagreements in my current relationship has everything to do with my father wounds, and my boyfriend's mother wounds. It brought awareness to our relationship and made me want to learn more about myself and why I behave or think the way I do. Alot of the information was taken from Chat GPT and google search, but still very informative and helpful.

I'm officially back into therapy and have had two sessions so far. I unfortunately missed one because I was bedridden due to depression, but when I communicated this to my therapist - she was very understanding. I made sure to let her know that the whole point of seeking therapy is to not focus solely on my relationship but to dig deep and confront the root of all causes as to why or how I am the way I am today. I learned that it all started from my relationship with my father, and it never really occurred to me that I have been angry at him my whole life. I used to think it was my mother that I was angry at. I realize now that I took all of my anger out on her growing up when she didn't deserve any of that. Afterall, she tried her best. Right now, I am in the beginning stages of forgiveness. For the first time in my life, I feel hopeful and ready to start healing that very part of me that has been missing for so long.

As for my relationship, both my boyfriend and I have decided to take some time to reflect and work on ourselves. He is currently on a two-week cruise for work. We talk every single day and have been practicing gratitude. I can't lie though. I miss him terribly. We are going on day 5 now, and the first 4 days have been hell. I've been crying and moping around because I miss him so much. My separation anxiety and abandonment issues get the best of me but luckily, he does the best he can to check-in with me multiple times a day. I'll keep my head up and remain strong.

Thanks for reading.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Why is it that as someone struggling immensely with PTSD and BPD do I find myself always trying to heal others instead of myself? The partners I choose tend to always overshadow my needs, and I always feel neglected & alone.

I am fighting to survive at this point.

Somebody please tell me I'm not alone.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Hi friends, I hope everyone is doing well. It has been several weeks since I wrote a post here on The Mighty. My last check-in was 3 weeks ago, and it was before I left to Arizona to celebrate my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend.

Since then, I haven't been doing well mentally so please pray for me. I don't want to go into too many details. However, I'll confess that I have crashed out several times. It got so bad that I injured my right arm from punching the kitchen counter. I've been experiencing chronic pains in my chest and constant migraines. I'm recognizing that I am spiraling, and something definitely needs to change.

On the brighter side, I am finally back in therapy. Interestingly enough, I was diagnosed with PTSD & so I've been researching more about that. If you have any advice to destress and decompress, don't hesitate to share.

I'm going to end it here. I'll write soon.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

It has been a month since I joined The Mighty and nearly a week since I wrote my first post: Fragments of Me: A Personal Story About My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Today I feel the sudden need to check-in. I plan to do this more often so I can mark my progress and record my thoughts. All of this is to ease my mind and to lessen the burden on the people around me. I've been told that I can be overwhelming because of my constant need to overshare and my inability to let things go. It hurts to hear that, but to be fair, I'd rather people be honest than to lie to me, so I'll take it in with a grain of salt.

I'm relieved to have found a community with individuals that are going through something similar or who are willing to learn more about their loved ones suffering with mental health disorders such as mine. However, I'm still struggling to find balance in my everyday life & I've been finding myself extremely insecure and anxious as of lately.

Alot of it has to do with the fact that next week my boyfriend and I are reaching our one year. We have been fighting intensely for the last few months due to my insecurities and distrust for things that happened early on in our relationship. It reached a point where we started questioning if we should continue on because we were making each other miserable. Definitely not an ideal start to our one year especially when we have a trip planned solely dedicated to celebrating that milestone in our relationship.

The question I have is: As a borderline, how do I forgive and let the past be the past?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth

I spoke this morning on Amazing Grace. Hope it encourages you.

www.youtube.com/live/39pFxuH7Zqg

This #quote has been said by people for many, many years in different ways (but still means the same) that it is natural to say,

“If you can forgive, you can heal.”

But… I’ve learned recently that you don’t have to. And I’ll say it again if you didn’t hear it.

YOU DON’T NEED TO FORGIVE SOMEONE TO BE ABLE TO HEAL!!!

Why forgive someone that most likely could be doing the same to someone else? They won’t stop. You forgiving them won’t change the fact that whatever it was that was done, that person had the time to:

• Think about the action
• Then actually implement it
• Doesn’t think of the consequences
• And maybe even repeat the action again and again

Whether it happened from a coworker or a boss, mother, father, family members, friends, spouses or partner, teacher… ANYBODY.

Better yet… just leave that situation and put your needs first… and forgive yourself instead.

• Forgive that you didn’t know it would happen
• Forgive that you don’t control the actions of others, only your own
• If you’re scared to get away, get help (many know the difficulties of leaving a situation if it makes it scary to just walk away)
• It’s okay to prioritize your life, your wellbeing, YOUR HEALTH
•Maybe even do a deep reflection of what happened, but close that chapter and move on

No one is born with the ill intention to hurt another person. Situations in life, surroundings… different aspects as one grows and starts developing their own consciousness. You’re not to blame for anything someone else does.

Always…

#loveyourself
#Selfcare
#SelfCareClub
#ThoughtsINeededToLetOut

You’ve done the best you could

Forgiveness starts first by yourself. Sometimes to forgive youself is the difficult part to acknowledge. We are quick to see the wrong in other people, what they did to you, but don't forget, you are also part of the whole situation. Everyone are tested, but the big picture is to forgive yourself, maybe or for sure or for some reason that is not your fault that things turned out that way, but still, you are a part of that pain and sorrow, and the question is always, how did I become part of this? It is not even my place or fault! Before the guilt trips starts, take time to forgive yourself, than the other who are involved! The truth will set you free!!