You didn't know then
Forgiveness starts first by yourself. Sometimes to forgive youself is the difficult part to acknowledge. We are quick to see the wrong in other people, what they did to you, but don't forget, you are also part of the whole situation. Everyone are tested, but the big picture is to forgive yourself, maybe or for sure or for some reason that is not your fault that things turned out that way, but still, you are a part of that pain and sorrow, and the question is always, how did I become part of this? It is not even my place or fault! Before the guilt trips starts, take time to forgive yourself, than the other who are involved! The truth will set you free!!
Today on Mental Wellness Minute, we will discuss briefly how shame can affect your mental health. The purpose of Mental Wellness Minute is to give short bites of information on mental health and mental illness that you can listen to and watch in about a minute. youtube.com/live/lFL-0xZfArM
Gave it my all, but took a mighty fall,
Love's grip so tight, it claimed my soul's thrall.
Now my mind seeks solace for the void within,
Aching heart, searching for ways to begin.
Emptiness and darkness, pain's ceaseless rain,
A struggle to comprehend, accommodate, restrain.
Who knew a friendship could be so toxic and bleak,
Leaving my body anoxic, longing to seek
Survival, I found, by grace of the divine,
Hustling for a life where my spirit can finally shine.
No more hurt, no more tears to spill,
I won't neglect those who uplift and instill
Belief in me, true friends who stay,
Unyielding in love, even when skies turn gray.
Those who stand strong through life's hardest test,
They are the ones who deserve my best.
Pushing away those who truly care,
Leaves one gasping for air, lost and unaware.
I've been through it, and now it's your turn,
May you learn from mistakes and the bridges you burn.
But through it all, I'll still be there,
With abundant love and genuine care to share.
I know the pain of abandonment's sting,
But fear not, my support is no fleeting fling.
My heart is pure, my intentions sincere,
No prey to lure, no hidden agenda to adhere.
For humanity's sake, my mission's aim,
Fiery ambition runs deep in my veins.
Forgiveness and love, I choose to embrace,
No room for hatred, no enemy to chase.
So here's to the next chapter, the story's sequel,
Counting blessings, ensuring your path sees the sun's golden sheen.
No foes shall I keep, for all are equal,
Cheers to a life where compassion is fecal.
With open arms, I welcome what's in store,
A new journey awaits, and my heart's ready to explore.
As a trauma survivor I'm always told that forgiveness is necessary for healing, and yet others say that it isn't necessary. As a practicing Catholic, I know what the church says but when you have complicated relationships with your family then I think that makes forgiveness a little more difficult. I have no relationship currently with my family ever since I spoke up about the abuse I was enduring. They seemed to turn on me and I am still healing those wounds. I used to feel completely let down and invalidated.
I felt defeated and unimportant. I thought that speaking up would make things better. It did the opposite. Other than no longer being abused, I struggle to see the positives. Sure I have a loving fiancé that has been with me every step of my healing journey but somedays that just isn't good enough. I have written numerous letters of forgiveness to my abusers but always discarded them. I felt they either weren't genuine or I wasn't ready. However I have been able to forgive myself for not knowing certain things then that I know now. Yet I struggle to forgive my abusers. It makes it harder because the abusers are family members.
What are your takes on forgiveness? I do want to reach a place of healing and maybe forgiveness one day. I want heal so much that I cannot get triggered. Though having #PTSD makes that a little hard. I feel like if I forgive then I can move on. I know forgiveness is a personal choice but I just wanted some opinions. Ultimately I may follow Catholic doctrine and forgive my enemies but right now I am not there.
We allow people residency in our hearts and minds. Sometimes in life we have people who are more like squatters there.
But they are there because we, the landlords, have allowed them to take up room in our heart and mind. We focus on the hurt/offense. We are the landlord, only we can allow them there.
We must renew our hearts and minds. Let go of any/all hurt, offense and choose to forgive.
May they occupy our hearts and minds with a renewed mindset and love in our hearts. Choose healing. Choose freedom. Choose forgiveness.
Live in the gift of the present.
Today I am filled with anxiety about a million things that matter and don’t. ##I’m so tired and can’t seem to get started. Then I’m mad at myself for not getting started. Which makes me tired. See how that circle goes? It can feel endless. But I love this affirmation. It’s actually a favorite quote. #affirmative #self compassion # all I have is NOW #Forgiveness
Could folks share thoughts, practical ways, forgiveness can be extended to a parental figure who leveled various forms abuse on a child, for years.
Christ has forgiven us for much. I definitely understand that. However, I cringe every time I hear people say “just forgive them.” I cannot grasp the practical ways this forgiveness IS extended.
In my case, I do not hold anger towards my abuser. I speak with the person. However, their control is EVER PRESENT. And therefore the abuse is ever present. I have not stopped speaking to the person. But for my sanity and emotional health, I have to keep my distance from this person. Isn’t controlling another the same spirit that expresses this control in Shane based abuse?
I appreciate your feedback, but without the typical “forgive them so you are not a prisoner.” I am seeking practical ways Christ-like forgiveness is extended to an unapologetic person who prefers to control a relationship. Thank you!
When people think of forgiveness (myself included) we tend to think that forgiveness is for another person. We often don't forgive ourselves. To be clear I am not taking accountability for being abused, that is not my responsibility. However I want to work on showing myself grace. So tonight I am going to forgive myself.
I forgive myself for not knowing what I didn't know before. I often get down on myself for not knowing what I didn't know before. I was a child when the abuse started and I didn't realize it was abuse. I remember being confused but I couldn't label it as abuse because there was no violence involved. No threats against my safety. Part of me didn't want to believe that a family member was abusing me and maybe that's why I didn't see it as abuse.
Even so, it was not my fault for not knowing. He knew better than to hurt me like that. That's the moral of what happened. I forgive myself for getting upset with myself when I get depressed, manic, anxious, triggered or emotionally reactive. I am slowly working on these emotions by making lifestyle changes. As I got older the abuse continued and this made me feel like for some reason it was my fault. I suppose shame and guilt are normal reactions to abuse.
But now I forgive myself for feeling guilt and shame. I realize now that I need to show myself love, patience, forgiveness and grace. So do you. I forgive myself for not speaking to myself with respect and now I plan on doing that. What do you forgive yourself for? #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Hope #Forgiveness #Healing #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder