Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Ever since I was a child, I’ve carried a lingering sense of unease, worry, and discomfort—one I wrote off as just “feeling anxious” sometimes. Something not serious enough to matter. It led me into negative self-talk and harsh self-criticism because I couldn’t simply “snap out of it.”

When I started therapy, I spoke at length about my long-standing depression and the post-traumatic stress tied to trauma I knew all too well. But when it came to that persistent “feeling,” I always downplayed its impact on my functioning: “I was simply anxious.”

It wasn’t until earlier this year, after researching generalized anxiety, that I finally asked my therapist if she thought I was living with an anxiety disorder. She told me diagnoses aren’t as important as managing the symptoms I’d been grappling with—but based on what I’d shared, she agreed that generalized anxiety fit what I’d been experiencing for so long.

In that moment, it felt like a mountain lifted from my shoulders. I took the deepest exhale and thought, “I haven’t been making it up!” While I agree that managing symptoms matters, for me, having language for what I’d been gaslighting myself about for most of my life—giving it a name—changed everything. Now I can finally chart a path forward. One rooted in more kindness and compassion toward myself. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with me.

Based on your experience with a diagnosis and/or symptoms, how would you describe the difference between feeling anxious and living with an anxiety disorder?

Feel free to share below! ✍️

#Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CheckInWithMe

Black Minds Matter Family and Friends support group is for adults who identify as Black and have a loved one with a mental illness or symptoms, or any mental health challenge. Share valuable coping strategies and practical information. And get information that helps you support your loved ones living with mental health challenges.

💻 If you'd like more information or would like to join, you can find the link here. Virtual groups are every 1st and 3rd Monday of the month, 6:30-8 PM Eastern Standard Time. Closed captioning is available: naminycmetro.org/programs/black-minds-matter-family-friends

If you have any questions, feel free to comment below!

#Parenting #GeneralParenting #Caregiving #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Parenting #ChronicIllness #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #EatingDisorders #CheckInWithMe

To my younger self,

I wish I could hold you exactly like this and tell you everything I know now.

You are going to spend a lot of years trying to understand yourself. You’re going to wonder why you feel everything so deeply, why some things seem harder for you than they do for everyone else, and why you can be surrounded by people and still sometimes feel alone.

Please don’t change.

That softness in you is going to survive things you cannot even imagine yet. You are going to have your heart broken. You are going to lose people, lose pieces of yourself, and have seasons when simply getting through the day feels like an accomplishment. But somehow, that curious little girl is going to stay inside you. She is still going to want to see the world. She is still going to get excited about waterfalls and oceans and animals and strange little facts. She is still going to laugh too loudly, love too deeply, ask too many questions, and believe there are more beautiful things waiting for her.

And baby girl, there are.

At 42, I still don't have everything figured out. I still get scared. I still get attached. I still sometimes want things, and people, I cannot keep. I still cry when something beautiful ends.

But I know something you don't know yet:

We survive endings.

And we don't just survive them. Somehow, we keep finding wonder afterward.

So you don't have to be brave yet. You don't have to know what's coming. You don't have to protect me from any of it.

Just be little.

I've got you now.

And I promise I will spend the rest of our life trying to give you the safety, adventure, tenderness, freedom, and love you always deserved.

Love,

You, all grown up. ❤️#CPTSD #audhd #innerchildhealing #Childhoodtrauma #latediagnosedautistic #latediagnosedadhd

#healingjourney

To my younger self,

I wish I could hold you exactly like this and tell you everything I know now.

You are going to spend a lot of years trying to understand yourself. You’re going to wonder why you feel everything so deeply, why some things seem harder for you than they do for everyone else, and why you can be surrounded by people and still sometimes feel alone.

Please don’t change.

That softness in you is going to survive things you cannot even imagine yet. You are going to have your heart broken. You are going to lose people, lose pieces of yourself, and have seasons when simply getting through the day feels like an accomplishment. But somehow, that curious little girl is going to stay inside you. She is still going to want to see the world. She is still going to get excited about waterfalls and oceans and animals and strange little facts. She is still going to laugh too loudly, love too deeply, ask too many questions, and believe there are more beautiful things waiting for her.

And baby girl, there are.

At 42, I still don't have everything figured out. I still get scared. I still get attached. I still sometimes want things, and people, I cannot keep. I still cry when something beautiful ends.

But I know something you don't know yet:

We survive endings.

And we don't just survive them. Somehow, we keep finding wonder afterward.

So you don't have to be brave yet. You don't have to know what's coming. You don't have to protect me from any of it.

Just be little.

I've got you now.

And I promise I will spend the rest of our life trying to give you the safety, adventure, tenderness, freedom, and love you always deserved.

Love,

You, all grown up. ❤️#CPTSD #audhd #innerchildhealing #Childhoodtrauma #latediagnosedautistic #latediagnosedadhd

#healingjourney