When you're casually listening to music while doing a mundane task and a song starts playing that triggers a series of flashbacks that gives your nervous system jolt because you have complex PTSD from childhood trauma. That intense, heavy doom feeling that forms in your gut and snakes its way up to your heart before finally reaching your head. It hits you like a tidal wave and you have to grasp onto whatever you can or you just might float off into nothing. If you're lucky, nobody is around to see you unravel. The weird part is, there are really bad memories that intertwine with good and neutral ones, but the whole experience itself is so intense. It's embarrassing to say this because it makes me feel kind of weird and vulnerable, but the song is 'Kiss from a Rose' by Seal (stupid, I know). Just zaps me right back to Massachusetts where I was born and raised. I don't know... it's hard being a full grown adult and knowing that no matter what I do, this will never go away. It's a life sentence and I'm feeling it, so please excuse my less than chipper post this evening. Thanks for listening.
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth
