Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Trying to flip the script to my internet use, blaming the algorithm is not original or https://valid.The writing therapy is my way of expressing what cant be https://spoken.That alone, is a red https://flag.I can not speak to a Stonewall https://avoidant.Im repeating the pattern.it is https://finished.He will continue to bate me, falsified my hope and take advantage of my situation.it is https://wrong.And https://blatant.All involved are as https://guilty.I am a fool,played by a fool over pride and https://ego.Nothing more...Going after one, for another isnt strength, its blind https://faith.I am ashamed and hurt.to have people, purposefully keeping me in a perpetual state of mind,is wrong and not https://helpful.My therapists warned me of the retaliation, https://socially.But this, is https://rediculous.And the plot unraveled, for the truth was spoken"then I should leave, if its so bad".
The whole point to the https://charade.Sad.All in vein, all your effort and pretending, setting me up and then blaming me, for reacting.

To wish someone homelessness,poverty,illness and isolation, to prove a point or cover a lie,and then complain when it goes back to you, https://please.Check yourself to the nearest therapists.Seriously.
And Sorry, but if my writings trigger you, the shoe fits.
Be like me, Dont take it so personal, sweety.

Trying to flip the script to my internet use, blaming the algorithm is not original or https://valid.The writing therapy is my way of expressing what cant be https://spoken.That alone, is a red https://flag.I can not speak to a Stonewall https://avoidant.Im repeating the pattern.it is https://finished.He will continue to bate me, falsified my hope and take advantage of my situation.it is https://wrong.And https://blatant.All involved are as https://guilty.I am a fool,played by a fool over pride and https://ego.Nothing more...Going after one, for another isnt strength, its blind https://faith.I am ashamed and hurt.to have people, purposefully keeping me in a perpetual state of mind,is wrong and not https://helpful.My therapists warned me of the retaliation, https://socially.But this, is https://rediculous.And the plot unraveled, for the truth was spoken"then I should leave, if its so bad".
The whole point to the https://charade.Sad.All in vein, all your effort and pretending, setting me up and then blaming me, for reacting.

To wish someone homelessness,poverty,illness and isolation, to prove a point or cover a lie,and then complain when it goes back to you, https://please.Check yourself to the nearest therapists.Seriously.
And Sorry, but if my writings trigger you, the shoe fits.
Be like me, Dont take it so personal, sweety.

Someone feeling they have the right to sabotage and orchestrate your life for the better, without your participation, is controlling munipulation 101.to dig up information, stalk, harrass, mock, stage and pretend it is Out of concern, is another level of https://abuse.Calling out abuse can become https://abuse.I will not participate and https://partake.Setting a woman up to teach her a lesson, is abusive.
Any women, taking part, are as enabling, as the https://man.I said it.Sorry.
Keep your old school, mobster mentality, out of my https://life.The personal attacks towards my life, judgements by people, who never were part, is https://comical.Im no fool, I https://knew.I have years of abuse, trauma, from many people, my life circumstances and life choices,that have brought me through. Not from,these individuals,being emotionally supportive.
Im not coddled, pampered or given the princess treatment, like most have been led to believe, never https://was.The bare minimum,is no longer,acceptable.I let it be for https://years.When I asked for more, I was met with a https://fight.I have become a broken https://record.I am smashing the record.to expect a woman to be soft,sweet,nurturing after disrespecting her publicly,is Delussional.But, I do see where, all involved, see nothing wrong with it.
Projection is https://funny.I catch myself https://constantly.I observe too much behavior, its a peculiar https://thing.Ive done it my entire https://life.I forget that a majority of them, are so trauma bonded, that no one will, not, be judged, when that door, for real connection, is https://opened.I did show https://up.He did not want me to.
Acceptance and intimacy, in relationships, shouldn't https://judge.Good and bad, are you serious? Im Bad? OK.
I wear my flaws, I'll tell you my failures but not everyone is willing to do https://that.I can't be around people who do that.it is automatic,a closed mindedness to human https://behavior.Your problem with me, is You, not https://me.Mean girl https://mentality.Band of brothers https://bullshit.Say I just dont know friends, then.No, I do not, I have had to reevaluate the entire https://structure.I bonded with people through https://survival.Anyone from my https://teens.They do not know me, they know,of, https://me.Epic 😆 🤣 😂.Im actually quite lame.

Heres a few,How could she? Who does she, think she is?Well, I'd https://never.Try this instead.

She should.
She knows, who she is.
She deserves better.
She doesnt want things, she wants things consistant, completed and she wants to https://grow.That is not control, it is safety.

Someone feeling they have the right to sabotage and orchestrate your life for the better, without your participation, is controlling munipulation 101.to dig up information, stalk, harrass, mock, stage and pretend it is Out of concern, is another level of https://abuse.Calling out abuse can become https://abuse.I will not participate and https://partake.Setting a woman up to teach her a lesson, is abusive.
Any women, taking part, are as enabling, as the https://man.I said it.Sorry.
Keep your old school, mobster mentality, out of my https://life.The personal attacks towards my life, judgements by people, who never were part, is https://comical.Im no fool, I https://knew.I have years of abuse, trauma, from many people, my life circumstances and life choices,that have brought me through. Not from,these individuals,being emotionally supportive.
Im not coddled, pampered or given the princess treatment, like most have been led to believe, never https://was.The bare minimum,is no longer,acceptable.I let it be for https://years.When I asked for more, I was met with a https://fight.I have become a broken https://record.I am smashing the record.to expect a woman to be soft,sweet,nurturing after disrespecting her publicly,is Delussional.But, I do see where, all involved, see nothing wrong with it.
Projection is https://funny.I catch myself https://constantly.I observe too much behavior, its a peculiar https://thing.Ive done it my entire https://life.I forget that a majority of them, are so trauma bonded, that no one will, not, be judged, when that door, for real connection, is https://opened.I did show https://up.He did not want me to.
Acceptance and intimacy, in relationships, shouldn't https://judge.Good and bad, are you serious? Im Bad? OK.
I wear my flaws, I'll tell you my failures but not everyone is willing to do https://that.I can't be around people who do that.it is automatic,a closed mindedness to human https://behavior.Your problem with me, is You, not https://me.Mean girl https://mentality.Band of brothers https://bullshit.Say I just dont know friends, then.No, I do not, I have had to reevaluate the entire https://structure.I bonded with people through https://survival.Anyone from my https://teens.They do not know me, they know,of, https://me.Epic 😆 🤣 😂.Im actually quite lame.

Heres a few,How could she? Who does she, think she is?Well, I'd https://never.Try this instead.

She should.
She knows, who she is.
She deserves better.
She doesnt want things, she wants things consistant, completed and she wants to https://grow.That is not control, it is safety.

Learning how to advocate for ourselves can take patience, time, practice, and consistent effort. For me, it’s taken years of therapy to feel confident enough in my voice and self-awareness to know when and how to speak up. It’s still really challenging at times depending on the situation, and I do still feel guilty more often than not — but I’m better than I was five years ago, and I’m proud of that progress! 🥳

What’s your experience with self-advocacy? How does speaking up for yourself make you feel?

Share with us in the comments below! 💬

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Parenting #ChronicIllness #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #EatingDisorders #CheckInWithMe

This is for all my watchers and readers, now that I know I have https://them.Thank you for the last two days, the universe has a way of settling the score on its own, in ways, most of you havent learned yet.
I had a moment to reverse and turn back, when a kitty was ran over, on https://purpose.Then darted back into the https://road.A sicko hit her, ten feet from me.no one would https://stop.I scooped her up and flew to the https://vet.She was white and tan calico, fluffy tail long hair, maybe four months https://old.Beautiful https://kitty.She was unconscious in my arms then came to, she was in https://shock.I was in https://shock.They put me in a seperate room and worked on https://her.It felt like https://forever.I felt it ALL, five years of fear,loss and https://regret.Because a stranger kitty is hurt, bad.
All the betrayal, the lies the congames and orchestrated https://munipulation.All of https://it.The snears and gossiping about my life and my https://heartaches.What is wrong with people? Not once,has anyone ever spoken to me, only ABOUT https://me.Not to me,with me, but about me.Ick.

And Im sitting here worrying about a helpless animal, that was hit by a truck, on purpose, in front of https://me.Did I turn a blind eye and say, she did it to herself, her own fault.no I picked her up, held her, cried with her, told her I got you, youre ok, youre safe, Im https://here.I didnt have to think about it, discuss it with others or decide if its worth the effort trying to help https://her.I didnt run away,hide, or freeze, I picked her up and held her, https://immediately.Not a second thought.
After the vets got her iv'd and sedated they let me go https://back.They were patient, reassuring but brutally honest about whats next and what will, could https://happen.Communication.They weren't cold, hard, cocky and defensive towards https://me.They had compassion, concern and https://empathy.They had no reason to judge my tears, concern and state, they understood, my feelings were valid.
They listened, wanted to know what happened to her, in https://detail.They didnt ask the guy, who drove by staring and judging the lady in the middle of the road screaming.
I honestly didnt think I'd be okay https://yesterday.And I was more than ok. And only because I had to face another clown,another flying monkey, trying to teach me another orchestrated lesson, immediately after. A real one,was handed to me on a silver platter, that served me more than anything, any of you, can come up https://with.Stay in your own https://lane.Im not being quiet.

This is for all my watchers and readers, now that I know I have https://them.Thank you for the last two days, the universe has a way of settling the score on its own, in ways, most of you havent learned yet.
I had a moment to reverse and turn back, when a kitty was ran over, on https://purpose.Then darted back into the https://road.A sicko hit her, ten feet from me.no one would https://stop.I scooped her up and flew to the https://vet.She was white and tan calico, fluffy tail long hair, maybe four months https://old.Beautiful https://kitty.She was unconscious in my arms then came to, she was in https://shock.I was in https://shock.They put me in a seperate room and worked on https://her.It felt like https://forever.I felt it ALL, five years of fear,loss and https://regret.Because a stranger kitty is hurt, bad.
All the betrayal, the lies the congames and orchestrated https://munipulation.All of https://it.The snears and gossiping about my life and my https://heartaches.What is wrong with people? Not once,has anyone ever spoken to me, only ABOUT https://me.Not to me,with me, but about me.Ick.

And Im sitting here worrying about a helpless animal, that was hit by a truck, on purpose, in front of https://me.Did I turn a blind eye and say, she did it to herself, her own fault.no I picked her up, held her, cried with her, told her I got you, youre ok, youre safe, Im https://here.I didnt have to think about it, discuss it with others or decide if its worth the effort trying to help https://her.I didnt run away,hide, or freeze, I picked her up and held her, https://immediately.Not a second thought.
After the vets got her iv'd and sedated they let me go https://back.They were patient, reassuring but brutally honest about whats next and what will, could https://happen.Communication.They weren't cold, hard, cocky and defensive towards https://me.They had compassion, concern and https://empathy.They had no reason to judge my tears, concern and state, they understood, my feelings were valid.
They listened, wanted to know what happened to her, in https://detail.They didnt ask the guy, who drove by staring and judging the lady in the middle of the road screaming.
I honestly didnt think I'd be okay https://yesterday.And I was more than ok. And only because I had to face another clown,another flying monkey, trying to teach me another orchestrated lesson, immediately after. A real one,was handed to me on a silver platter, that served me more than anything, any of you, can come up https://with.Stay in your own https://lane.Im not being quiet.

I feel so alone right now.
Just need some understanding.
I feel annoyed with myself for going backwards in my healing journey.
Im supposed to be settling back in to my own apartment.
But im still at my mums place.
Things are really tough right now.
How to get through tough times?
#Depression
#CPTSD

I feel so alone right now.
Just need some understanding.
I feel annoyed with myself for going backwards in my healing journey.
Im supposed to be settling back in to my own apartment.
But im still at my mums place.
Things are really tough right now.
How to get through tough times?
#Depression
#CPTSD

I cannot believe you have his goons step up to me in https://public.Thats not smart considering, the phone is now https://evidence.Why are a group of people concerned with me? I did nothing to them.
Intent vs Impact.
My intended action had zero effect on him.None, couldn't be https://bothered.Facts.I begged, cried, changed the behavior, time and time https://again.He did not care.at https://all.You cannot fake https://it.I lost respect for All involved, to the point that I begged his https://family.I willkeep putting myself https://first.He was first, we centered on egg shells for https://years.Accepted bare https://minimum.And to be called crazy after, Do not judge me because you were fed lies and projected https://judgements.I dont play with bullies or mean girls, https://ever.I explained myself too many https://times.I will not, be quiet now.