Dontwanttobehere

#Suicide

I can’t seem to find any motivation to keep going on. I am usually full of energy, but for the past two or three days, I haven’t had any energy at all. And I just want to avoid every person I encounter. I was feeling like this for a long time. Especially today. But then, to add onto my bad mood, I found out I did really poorly on my flute audition that I did yesterday. I got 20th chair and I’m not pleased with that. But that just added on to my depressed state. I also am struggling with the fact that I’m making someone else depressed by not liking them romantically. And I feel so guilty and responsible for making that person so upset. On top of that, my dad, whom I thought was supporting me through out Anorexia, isn’t being very supportive and keeps rejecting me wanting to go hang out with him. And he’s saying that until I reach like 125lbs I can’t do anything active with him.... Even though I’ve BEEN having a good mindset and I’ve had my period!! I just feel so lost and unloved bc I’m not used to my dad acting like this towards me :(.... There’s a lot more, but i really don’t want to get into it bc it’s hard for me to talk about. #Depression #AnorexiaNervosa #Anxiety #help #Dontwanttobehere #Dead #Vanish

I have suffered greatly with depression and anxiety now for around 10 years. Progressively it’s got worse. And now I’m at the stage where my friend has died, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I am riddled with guilt and grief. I can’t take the pain anymore. #feelingaloneandlost #Grief