Is chronic suicidal really a symptom of BPD?
Chronic suicidal ideation is listed in the DSM-IV as symptom 5 of BPD. So our constant suicidality is because of our mental illness. It's "just because I have BPD"... But what if it's not that simple?
What if our suicidal ideation is not just a symptom of , what if instead, it is a symptom of the trauma we've been through that causes ? a symptom of having a disorder that is so misunderstood and hard to navigate? or a symptom of being constantly emotionally dysregulated in such a emotionally stimulating world?
That seems a little more likely to me and a little more hopeful, that constant suicidal ideation may not just be forever a theme in my life. Like an app that constantly runs in the background, not noticeable but draining energy nonetheless.
It's like what the character Hazel-Grace Lancaster said in The fault in our stars:
"Depression is not a symptom of cancer, it is a symptom of dying".
(I hope I got that right).
With this mindset though, it makes me feel like I have a little more power... That maybe I can change it. Maybe I'm not doomed to become nothing more than another statistic of those with who take their own lives. Maybe... Just maybe... I can figure out what makes me suicidal. What the cause is other than "Just having ". And maybe identifying the causes, what triggers suicidal thoughts, can help me learn what to do to make them less and less frequent until maybe.. Just maybe... They don't return again? Oh the dream!
*Sidenote* This does slightly make me question the whole classification system when it comes to psychological disorders and brings me back to my university days, sitting in lectures debating on causes vs symptoms. But that's a post for another day! Till next time x #BPD #BPDDiagnosis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Dsm #Bpdrecovery #MentalIllness