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Stop, look, and listen. #Life #PersonalGrowth

Not too long ago, I reconnected with a friend that I hadn't spoken to in over a year. He had gotten me thinking about certain things that he pointed out was happening in my life. Listening to him made me stop, look, and listen to something that is going on in my life.

And that was my own emotional dependancy.

I hadn't realized that this was happening to me because it is usually tied to romantic relationships.

I hadn't realized that I had become dependant on my best friend. I became tethered to his every word and was looking for his support whenever there was a bump in the road in my life. And when he couldn't give me the support that I needed, I would crash and feel like I had been abandoned.

I am now starting to realize that believing and wishing that someone will wake up one day and suddenly know how to support you and talk to you isn't healthy. That being hinged on someone that won't listen to you isn't the best thing for you.

That I can't control what he says or does, and I have to let go of the ideal and the potential I see in him.

Because if he doesn't see it, then who am I to keep telling him who he is? #emotionaldependency, #cerebalpalsy #Stroke #PersonalGrowth


How do you dream with it?

I realised that due to me growing up with a narcissistic mother, I am always fearful of hurting other people's feelings in case that led to them leaving me. first it was friends, then guys I dated now my fiance.

it is my new year's resolution to love and respect myself more and not be so affected by other people's feelings and opinions but I still find myself biting my tongue whenever someone insulted the things I love or projecting their likes and dislikes onto me. I just joked with them and tell myself "you're not gonna do what they want anyway so just joke and avoid hurting their feelings. if you say anything then things just get awkward." also, I dont react quickly enough when someone does this. unless that person has done it a few times then I say something. even then I had to choose my words carefully not to upset them.

am I right in doing so? is this how social etiquette supposed to be? have my mother trained me in being a pushover/doormat? has anyone ever experienced the same thing? I just feel like I hate myself after the situation happened and then get upset over it after a week or so..

#Advice needed #Codependency #emotionaldependency #Narcissticmother