I want to be free
Since realizing the situation I am in and finally seeing and accepting that my husband is not who I first thought him to be 15 years ago, I have concluded I have to find a way to leave. However, it isn’t possible if I don’t have an income to financially sustain me and my kids. Myself and my oldest teenage daughter have been searching endlessly for jobs and have turned in several applications. We even went for interviews and were told we were hired by one of them, but due to the need for us to work the same shift because of only one vehicle, they said they would need to figure out our scheduling and would email us with further information. That was over a week ago and we haven’t heard anything. So, I’m not real sure we actually did get the jobs. Without a job I can’t leave, because I couldn’t pay for somewhere else for us to live. I have managed to locate a few rental options in my tiny rural area, but that information is useless without income. I am feeling really trapped and hopeless. I don’t want to have to keep waking up day after day to a man that treats me and my kids (daughters especially) like we are dirt and valueless. Listening to the hateful things he says and walking on eggshells in the hopes of not setting off a nasty remark or angry outburst. I want to leave and yet my circumstances of being a stay-at-home mom with no income is now kicking me in the butt and forcing me into having to stay where I know I don’t need to be. The stress is badly affecting my symptoms and the symptoms of both my daughters (we are all three chronically ill). It also doesn’t help that my husband is now unemployed also (he has quit two different jobs in the past two weeks) so my current household is quickly running out of the little bit of money that we had and me and the kids are not sure what is going to happen. I think I must be living in a form of HELL, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what me and the kids did to deserve it! #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #amps #hypermobileehlers-DanlosSyndrome(hEDS) #EosinophilicEsophagitis #Dysautonomia #Migraine #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #InterstitialCystitis #DegenerativeDiscDisease #FoodAllergies #fragranceallergies #Environmental Allergies #sleepingdisorder