Therapy uncertainty 🤔 NEED ADVICE PLEASE
WARNING: This post is not short!!
So I finally had my intake appointment with a therapist that was recommended to me for help dealing with all the difficulties in my life. I have never went to a therapist before, but am very familiar with the way things are typically done since both my daughters have been seeing therapists for pretty much their whole lives. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but was hoping for the best because I really need someone that will provide me with support. However, by the time I left (two hours after arriving) I felt like I was in some type of shock. I drove to an area trail that I pass to get home and pulled into a parking space. Then I got out and started aimlessly walking down the trail trying to somehow process the things the therapist had said in an attempt to decide if it was logical and right or if it was not. After I was asked many questions about myself, my kids, my soon to be ex-husband and provided a bunch of life history and background info and part of mine and my kids health problems history (yet still only covering a portion of all that stuff that I am sure is relevant), she asked me how on earth with all that I have been impacted by and affected by have I managed to stay afloat and keep functioning. She then started telling me that it is very important at this time that I have a willingness to push my kids to the background and focus on myself. She said that if I don’t I won’t be alive for long to be here for my kids. She told me that she would recommend that I force my daughters to start becoming more independent and focus on myself and my youngest son who is only 13. She suggested me to see about a group home for my 19 year old (even though she is very high functioning and currently works at the same place I do and helps me to pay our apartments bills) or to have both of them move out and be roommates somewhere else. To give a bit of insight, my daughters are 18 & 19. My 19 year old has Aspergers, BPD, ADD, PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, and a host of physical health problems that include AMPS, Ehlers Danlos, EoE, food allergies, thyroid problems with a possible tumor on her pituitary, and vitamin deficiencies. She also can’t drive (from PTSD from a car wreck). My 18 year old has recently tried to commit suicide and spent a week in a mental health hospital because of severe recurrent major depressive disorder and anxiety caused from her being sexually assaulted twice in the past year and an array of chronic health issues that include CFS, Dysautonomia, EoE, malnutrition and disordered eating. She also can’t drive yet because due to her frequently passing out from her Dysautonomia her doctors won’t allow her to learn even though she already passed the test to get her permit. I was also told that since my stepson is technically my husband’s responsibility since he has full custody, that I shouldn’t continue to worry about him and just let dad handle everything for him. My stepson has been in my life since he was eight months old (now 17) and his biological mom has never been able to play much of a role in his life because of her severe mental health issues, so I am the only mom he has and knows. The therapist did have some good information about resources that may actually be helpful to me and my daughters, but I’m feeling uneasy about moving forward with her. I know my girls are old enough to be stepping out on their own, but they do not seem to me to be ready yet to take that kind of plunge with all their health difficulties. They lack knowledge of how to survive on their own and they lack in maturity also. Due to all the health issues they have never gotten to act or experience things like other healthy kids and teenagers have. What should I think about all this? Is the therapist giving good advice and I just don’t want to hear it, or is it bad advice and I should not go back? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
Sorry the post was so long, but thanks for reading if you made it this far!! #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Dysautonomia #EosinophilicEsophagitis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Migraine #Aspergers #amps #Abuse