epsteinbarr

Just had a side of my nose cauterized the other day. Hopefully it will grow new skin that won't be inflamed. Tomorrow I have to travel for appointments again, I don't have the energy or the heart. Tired of the upkeep, my body is showing it too. Like I had a month off, now been in a month and Im into burnout zone. My brain is fried. Next month will make a long trip to a Neurologist. Just want to postpone everything....like Adele.

I'm exhausted, I hurt, I need to shower and play along but Im so tired of this crap.

I just got caught up on laundry, now Ive worn myself out for tomorrow. Sitting here, just dreading it.

I don't want it to get to me but it does! #Depression #Anxiety #RareDisease #ChronicPain #Arthritis #CPTSD #Inflammation #Migraine #Fatigue #epsteinbarr #cystitis #Neuropathy #sinusitis #Disability #hatetodrive #someoneputmetobed

I just want to thank my pup for being here for me. She is sick now and my heart is very heavy and I am terrified that I will loose her too.
My fur kids are my family.

Over the last few weeks I have caught the crisis craziness (or whatever you want to call it); as a person who suffers from C-PTSD, Fibromyalgia and Epstein Barr and self harm issues, it is VERY hard to not have a (human) soul I can hug, to really have a heart to heart with and just to cry on a shoulder that cares.

I am so scared and guilt filled, that I go cycling, to manage my terror and anxiety states. My guilt for not being able to do more.

And I run around in circles in my mind, I can't seem to find a door or window. Guilt for every reason that I have failed my family or myself. And the guilt and FEAR, play over and over and over and it is dragging me down big time.

I do not have *my person* or, ANY person at all.
It is exceedingly hard and scary.

Nose Cauterization and quite tired of this crap.

Hard 2B Alone #selfharm #CPTSD #Fibromyalgia #epsteinbarr

Feed for