feelinguseless

Help. I'm stuck in my head. I feel useless, worthless and not wanted. I have no one I feel comfortable opening up to so I just bottle everything up and every now and then it explodes. My boyfriend says he cares but never shows it. My family acts like depression doesn't exist. I have no close friends to talk to. I can't stop crying and I feel like i have no use in this world. I have 2 auto immune diseases and more health issues. I don't let my diseases or health run my life, I keep them hidden as much as I can but somedays I just want someone to ask how I am or how am I doing? I want my boyfriend to stop talking about his baby mommas and playing video games and ask me how I'm doing or if I want to do something. I just want to feel like I matter too. I am tired of being the one making people happy. No matter how many times I think of leaving this world I can never do it because that would be selfish and I know that my life has a purpose. I wish that purpose would show itself though because after 31 yrs of life I am beginning to lose hope. A person can only take so much before they break and I'm not sure I can take much more. #Depression #AutoimmuneDiseases #Loneliness #feelinguseless