feelingsofdepression

My depression is making me angry, sad and frustrated. I can feel everything building up on me and I just can’t cope with it. I just want to scream and shout and hope that makes everything better. I’m angry because the people who I’m sharing my student house with, my “friends” don’t support me and act like they don’t care. I’m angry they get to live a normal live without the constant internal battle I have, I’m angry they can’t acknowledge the way they make me feel and reassure me they are there for me. I’m angry at myself for not being myself but I can’t control that so where do I go from there ? #Depression #feelingsofdepression

For the last few weeks, I’ve felt very down and it felt like there was no end in sight. Within the last few days, I’ve been dealing with an on going family crisis (one of many contributing factors of my depression) and it really took more out of me because now I feel like every memory of all that has happened has resurfaced, leading me to feel both anger, frustration, and deep sadness. I’ve come to realize that there are maybe two people that actually give me peace of mind: one at home and the other at work. I have coworkers who always ask about how I’m feeling and this one particular person I do confide in about what goes on with me. Strangely enough, the world feels a little brighter when I’m with that person, I don’t feel as empty or sad. The other person is my mom. I find that we both have similar feelings about our situation, but we feel compelled to be strong for the other should it all go one way or the other. These two people gave me two days of happiness in the past week. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it helped me a great deal. No crying in the early morning hours, no feelings of emptiness, I felt good. Unfortunately, the dark cloud found me again this morning, but I’m grateful for the reprieve even if it only lasted for a short while. #MentalHealth #Depression #Happiness #CheckInWithMe #feelingsofdepression #Familytroubles

There are days when I wake up in the morning, or what feels like waking up after a long night of tossing and turning. I open my eyes and stare at the white ceiling. And before a thought enters my head, it hits me. The horrible, achy, empty feeling that just assulted me and every part of every second of the rest of the day, or days, or weeks... who knows when the feeling will last, but .. it will be back before i can begin to recover. On the days I wake up feeling this, I wish right then and there that I would die. I feel that dying would be better than feeling this, even if it were to only be there for an hour or two. In that moment, the moment of that gut wrenching feeling, I want to die. That is a feeling no one can describe. The only way I have ever known how to describe it, is how I described it above. Though there are no words for the physical feelings... it has a name. And the name is depression.. and depression makes me want to die.

#feelingsofdepression