Worried I will die without accomplish anything
I am 57 and have had serious health problems all my life. I have always been very health conscious, and yet I've had breast cancer, had endometrial cancer, have severe endocrine problems, and several of my internal organs are starting to fail.
I was never able to have children, and was never able to get a carrier established. I have done a lot of scientific and nonfiction writing, but have not been able to get much of it published.
After a recent hospitalization for acute renal failure, I worry that I don't have much time left. I want to find some way to make my remaining time meaningful.
The idea of dying after a meaningless life full of suffering bothers me much more than the thought that I am running out of time -- I really don't want more time if it will just mean more suffering, no ability to do the things I want, and nothing accomplished.
I am looking for people in similar situations to talk to -- I really don't know anyone else in this situation. My cancer problems are now under control, and I haven't found support groups for people with my other problems. Please help me connect with others facing similar things!
#endoflife #lackofmeaning #findinghope #findingmeaning