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I've been wanting (needing) to make a chicken saddle for my hen Marble for so long but #Depression and just #Life got pretty sad for a bit. Today I managed to focus long enough and got it done before my #fshd shoulders got too sore at the sewing machine. It's a start, and I'm pretty #proud ! What are the things you're looking forward to accomplishing?


October #MySymptoms #MuscularDystrophy #MentalIllness

some days, my legs pretend they’re made of marble
and i’m left to marvel at the fact that despite all this,
i still have days where i can run.

and i run.
i run away from the mental monsters that only have one goal in mind
i will not be dragged down again
this time,
i won’t let them catch me
coping mechanisms, save me
but i tire so easily
and my mind spirals so quickly

and i fall.

i could never smile.
maybe it’s because my brain knew
i’d grin during all of the inappropriate moments
i am nervous laughter.

i sleep with both eyes open because i don’t want to miss a thing
my strength is in my ability to see what goes unnoticed
when the northern hemisphere falls silent
my mind runs rampant
the sun rises
and i fall asleep to dream in technicolor exhaustion

i wake up feeling heavy
my mind shuts down
and i wrap myself in a blanket of anxieties so tight i become calmed by ideas they will later write off as irrational

there is no guidebook
for growing up with a type of muscular dystrophy with a name no one could pronounce
save for a handful of doctors and scientists
racing for a cure,

it’s called facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy

there is no antidote
for a poison you don’t know the name of
there is no relief
for the shame i carry

there is no sense
to the madness, unraveling.


#MightyPoets #MuscularDystrophy #fshd #Depression #Anxiety #Insomnia #RareDisease #MentalIllness #MentalHealth #MySymptoms