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    #Accomplishments

    I've been wanting (needing) to make a chicken saddle for my hen Marble for so long but #Depression and just #Life got pretty sad for a bit. Today I managed to focus long enough and got it done before my #fshd shoulders got too sore at the sewing machine. It's a start, and I'm pretty #proud ! What are the things you're looking forward to accomplishing?

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    October #MySymptoms #MuscularDystrophy #MentalIllness

    some days, my legs pretend they’re made of marble
    and i’m left to marvel at the fact that despite all this,
    i still have days where i can run.

    and i run.
    i run away from the mental monsters that only have one goal in mind
    i will not be dragged down again
    this time,
    i won’t let them catch me
    coping mechanisms, save me
    but i tire so easily
    and my mind spirals so quickly

    and i fall.

    i could never smile.
    maybe it’s because my brain knew
    i’d grin during all of the inappropriate moments
    i am nervous laughter.

    i sleep with both eyes open because i don’t want to miss a thing
    my strength is in my ability to see what goes unnoticed
    when the northern hemisphere falls silent
    my mind runs rampant
    the sun rises
    and i fall asleep to dream in technicolor exhaustion

    i wake up feeling heavy
    my mind shuts down
    and i wrap myself in a blanket of anxieties so tight i become calmed by ideas they will later write off as irrational

    there is no guidebook
    for growing up with a type of muscular dystrophy with a name no one could pronounce
    save for a handful of doctors and scientists
    racing for a cure,

    it’s called facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy

    there is no antidote
    for a poison you don’t know the name of
    there is no relief
    for the shame i carry

    there is no sense
    to the madness, unraveling.

    -z.z

    #MightyPoets #MuscularDystrophy #fshd #Depression #Anxiety #Insomnia #RareDisease #MentalIllness #MentalHealth #MySymptoms

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