germs

I get sick all the time in winter if I have to spend time around public transport and the likes. No one knows where to get them and I couldn’t find any that look kinda nice. #ImmuneDeficiency #gettingsick #germs #lookingforhelp

When I was 17 I was in a car accident. Since then I have had anxiety but usually it was only when I tried to drive or traveled. Lately I have been having a harder time coping on my own with my anxiety and germs. I don't know why I now feel like I have to was my hands all the time or wipe down my spot on the couch if someone else sits there, why I have to shower after being at someone else's house. I just want to feel normal again I was able to deal with this on my own for so many years. On Thursday I will be talking to my Dr. about my feelings along with Eczema I've been trying to cope with for 4 months and 4 visits with nothing seeming to work. Why am I so nervous to tell her what is going on in my head? Why is it so hard for those around us to understand what we are feeling is out of our control. As much as I want to be like I don't have to wash my hands after checking the door to make sure it's locked my mind tells me Haha yes you do! I've been dealing in secret for so long but I can't anymore I just want to feel like I used to. I don't know that I will ever be in the norm of society but at least I won't have to pretend anymore that I'm okay that everything is fine that I'm not screaming inside what is wrong with you why can't you just be like everyone else. It's time I started taking control of my health even if it's scary and nerve wracking. Thanks for reading I hope your having a wonderful day stay positive we got this! #Anxiety #Germaphobia #OCD #Undiagnosed #Positivity