Yesterday, I spent some time down by the water appreciating the local poet laureate and the wind as it whipped my hair.
At this #time last year I started having high pitched noises in my ears, my skull felt tingly and hot like it was #onfire , and #Brainzaps in my head and neck, and feeling like electricity was going down my spine. I thought I was #Crazy because no one can hear, feel or see what was happening and debilitating #mylife . 2 MRI's done on 12/27/19 I get the call from my neurologist. No pinched nerve, no m.s. Two #brainanurisyms . Both need surgery. I ask my neurosurgeon if the symptoms I've been having aren't anurisym related then #wtf is it?? #anxiety #stressresponsemode #fightorflight
3/6/20 I had a full #Crainiotomy afraid to touch my head or look at myself or ask for help. My first surgery in my life was #BrainSurgery . The photo here is Miracle who stood by me, or pulled me, so I'd #NeverGiveUp . Second surgery was 7/23/20. Anxiety #savedmylife even though it was due to working non-stop as a counselor with #peoplewhousedrugs and training thousands on how to #savealife from #opioidoverdose with #Naloxone but I never took time to care for me, I gave it away. My anxiety is better, still sucks daily but not like before. Except for today, it was a replay of #Healing and of #hurting . #Miracle , once again pulled me through, and I didn't fight her.
I fought anxiety. And won.
I was in grade six when I first felt a slight numbness around my left hip...I was just a small girl which no such knowledge to take such case seriously.. I thought its just a normal numbness for sitting on the school's desk for too long...I just waited for it to disappear on its on,but it never happend...day after day my numbness worsened and I became what the doctors diagnosed as paraplegic...I wasn't able to use my lower limbs anymore.. I used to see doctor after doctor in order to be healed..some of them giving me no hope at all..life was really hard for me,I became depressed and even tried to end my life..I attended many sessions of counseling and one of my best counselor recommended me to join joytown secondary for the disabled. Its there that my life changed..I met many of my kinds..I made friends..and the environment was very friendly..I engaged myself in everything from attending physiotherapy sessions,playing sitting volleyball to wheelchair racing..in just 2months I accepted myself and the suicidal thought just disappeared.. The miracle happened in my 3rd year in highschool..I felt my sensations slowly coming back..I informed my mum and she felt so happy..day after day my legs improved..I started using crutches to walker and finally on my feet..its 5years now and I have got no complications at all..indeed it's a miracle