Headache

I’ve learned the hard way that I cannot spend my whole life pushing myself past my limits. If I do, I will keep hurting and isolating myself, and eventually have to give up things I genuinely love.

To put it in perspective…
Growing up chronically ill, all I ever knew was push yourself. And I did. I pushed myself through long days until my joints hurt so badly I was in tears, only to come home from school and go straight to bed from exhaustion and pain. So yes—I’m very good at pushing myself.

What I’m learning now is that being good at pushing myself doesn’t mean it’s good for me.
I’m almost 30, and for the past three years, this has been my Monday through Friday: I drop what I’m doing to help coworkers, I take on all the walking tasks in the office because I’m “the young one,” and I average around 8,000 steps a day. That may not sound like much, but by the time I get home, my feet are throbbing, my tailbone aches, I’m running a low-grade fever, I have a wicked headache, and the thought of standing long enough to make dinner feels impossible.

Recently, I was on a date and got asked why I don’t like going out after work. For me, the answer was simple:
“Because by that time, I usually have a fever, and my body won’t let me enjoy anything else.”

Saying it out loud made me realize something…that’s not normal, and it’s not how I want to keep living.

I’m ready for my self-love era, my gentle era.
An era where rest isn’t laziness.
Where listening to my body isn’t weakness.
Where preserving my energy means I actually get to enjoy my life, not just survive my days.
Adjusting will be hard. I know that.

But I want a life beyond work. I want a to enjoy my hobbies again. And I need to start saving some of myself for me.
#ChronicPain #Glaucoma #Uveitis #MentalHealth

My head has been hurting quite a lot since 9am when I woke up. I took 2 tramadol and 2 CBD gummies and an ubrelvy and within 2 hours the pain went from 9 to 6 and I was functional... For a little while.
Maybe ~3 hours.
Now it came back and it's in my right ear. There's also lots of discomfort in my eyes but it's a slow burn. My wife just gave me 2 tramadol and 2 CBD gummies and an ubrelvy just like earlier today.
I don't have much faith this is gonna help me feel better but I gotta try something. I'm running out of options. My headache specialist got me on ajovy but I'm still getting migraines almost daily. The more meds I try and fail, the more obvious the cause is my exotropia.
I'm so tired of constant pain in so many different parts of my body. I'm tired of finally getting relief from one thing and then the meds triggered some other bullshit.
Next week I have therapy on Monday, an appointment with my Endo on Wednesday, and follow-up with my pain specialist on Thursday. My pain specialist is such a good doctor. I'm gonna ask her when we can do another round of hip injections or possibly SI joint injections. This pain is too much to handle. I can't make Pauley understand how much I hurt but I know she's trying her best. I love that darling stupidhead more than words alone can say but I imagine interpretive dancing might help.
My teeth hurt on my left side.

Today I had my invega trinza injection at 11am. It didn't go well. Then at 3pm I had telehealth therapy. That went fine.
Then my next appointment is Thursday with a doctor I've never seen before. My headache specialist referred me. She didn't tell me anything about her.
Then on Friday I'm having a spinal nerve block with my favorite doctor. It's very painful but I am good at tolerating pain. My doctor is so nice. The nurses really like me and Pauley.
Saturday we're going to an art exhibit. We went last year and I was in so much pain after we were there for an hour. I'm hoping to be able to handle walking more cuz this time I have my rollater.
Then on Sunday...oh gosh I'm most excited. We're going to Canterbury village for the Silly Wonka chocolate tasting tour. It's basically a day of walking around the little shops and trying little morsels of chocolatey goodness. It's gonna be awesome!

Hi, my name is Loui_Lai. I'm here because all day I feel anxious and I've had pain and fatigue for over 15 years with tension headache and mental exhaustion. I feel on edge where I live and I constantly seek something to make my body & soul feel happy and content and free but it never does. The older I get the harder I am finding it and I absorb so much that I get overwhelmed and either sad, moody or angry or over-excited, I can't ever feel balanced.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD