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The Ever-Expanding Spiral

On our blog, we reference the “recovery corkscrew” concept more than any other. It’s probably most referenced by Lighthouse as well; in recovery, we’re always coming back to it.

It started as just an abstract idea with no application, though I now know it as an uncomfortable truth. Knowing it’s there brings relief; the circular pattern has become a dependable one.

The link we want to share today, "The Corkscrew" is written in a different style than our usual essays, but that’s the Motley voice for you. It was originally to help us understand, and it’s been kept unchanged.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #TraumaRecovery #Healing #MentalHealth #DissociativeIdentityDisorder The Corkscrew

The Corkscrew

“We’ve been here before.” Therapeutic deja vu: Growth is spiral-shaped and healing happens in layers, echoing from the outside in, dripping deeper each time.
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Being My Own Worst Enemy By BigmommaJ

I want to talk about one of the hardest truths I’ve had to face on my healing journey—the battle within myself. It’s one thing to overcome pain caused by others, but it’s something entirely different when the person standing in your way is you. Mental health recovery has taught me that sometimes, the biggest fight isn’t with the world—it’s with the voice in your own mind.

——-

My Own Worst Enemy

(By Jacqueline Hayes)

I’ve walked through fires of my own design,
Built prisons in this heart of mine.
Each fear, each doubt, I let reside,
Until my spirit ran to hide.

I’ve torn down bridges I helped build,
Let guilt and shame go unfulfilled.
I blamed the world, I blamed the pain,
Not knowing I fed my own chain.

The mirror shows a face I know,
But she’s been hurt from long ago.
She’s strong, yet tired — brave, yet scared,
Haunted by truths she never shared.

I’ve been my foe, my harshest voice,
Silencing hope, denying choice.
But deep inside, I hear a plea —
“Please stop destroying what could be.”

So now I breathe, and face the flame,
No longer running from the name.
I’ll own my scars, forgive the past,
And free myself — at peace, at last.

For healing starts when I believe,
That I am worthy to receive.
No longer foe, no enemy —
Just me, becoming who I’m meant to be.
-------------
There was a time I didn’t need anyone else to tear me down—because I did it all by myself.
Every mistake, every flaw, every scar—I used them as weapons against me. I’ve been my own harshest critic, my own abuser, my own worst enemy. And the truth is, sometimes it’s easier to believe the lies your mind tells you than to face the pain underneath them.

I used to look in the mirror and only see what I wasn’t.
Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not lovable enough.
That voice in my head—the one that told me I’d never change—was louder than any encouragement I ever received. I thought if I punished myself first, no one else could hurt me. But all that did was keep me stuck in the same cycle of shame, guilt, and self-sabotage.

Mental illness and trauma have a way of twisting your reflection.
They make you believe you are the problem instead of the survivor. I spent years blaming myself for things that weren’t my fault—things I didn’t ask for. I carried that guilt like a badge of honor, as if hating myself would somehow make me more deserving of peace. It didn’t. It only made the healing harder.

It took me a long time to realize that I was standing in my own way.
Every time I doubted my worth, every time I told myself I’d fail before I even tried, I was feeding the very pain I wanted to escape. I kept waiting for someone else to save me, not realizing that the person I needed to forgive, to fight for, and to love—was me.

Learning to stop being my own worst enemy hasn’t been easy.
It’s taken self-awareness, brutal honesty, and compassion I didn’t think I deserved. I’ve had to unlearn the lies I told myself for years and replace them with truth: I am enough. I can change. I do deserve peace. I’ve learned that growth starts the moment you stop fighting yourself and start understanding yourself.

Now, when that inner critic tries to speak, I try to remind her: You’ve done enough. You’ve survived enough. You are enough.
Because every time I choose love over self-loathing, healing over hate, I rise a little higher above the person I used to be.

To anyone reading this who feels trapped by their own thoughts—please hear me.
You are not your mistakes. You are not your trauma. You are not the cruel things you say to yourself in your lowest moments. You are human. And you are worthy of grace, even from yourself. Especially from yourself.

The moment you stop being your own worst enemy, you give yourself permission to become your greatest ally.
And that’s where true healing begins.

Rise Above Your Norm

For me, rising above my norm meant learning how to be on my own side for once. It meant choosing to nurture the parts of me I used to destroy. It meant forgiving myself—not because I forgot what happened, but because I finally understood I deserved peace more than punishment.

Every time I choose self-compassion over criticism, I rise a little higher.
Every time I silence the voice that says “you can’t,” I remind myself that I already have.
The battle with my own mind hasn’t ended—but now, I fight for myself, not against myself.

> “The war inside me didn’t end—it just changed sides.”

BigmommaJ
# Selfsabbotage #mentalhelath #Healing #Recovery

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Being betrayed by the person you trusted most in the world (and you had really believed was a person who could be trusted) is incredibly painful

I know many people have experienced this. Some of us experience it more than once. Betrayal, unfortunately, is common. But its frequency, its commonality, never makes it easier for the individuals going through it.

However, I feel betrayed and deceived. I’m not sure which one feels worse. The one that is just the other person’s doing, or the one that involves myself not “picking up on the signs.” I’m very angry at the other person. But I’m disappointed in myself. And we know what’s often said about disappointment, it’s worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m intensely disappointed in the other person. But the disappointment in myself hits differently, even if it’s technically not as intense.

I will be…I mean, I am being gentle with myself. I know the advice. I know it’s not my fault. I can forgive myself for what I didn’t know; for not having the tools or ability yet to prevent what happened. I was naive, which isn’t a “sin.” It’s just a state most of spend some time in early on in our lives. (Unfortunately, sometimes it comes with great consequences. So maybe I should just be mad at the “universe,” or “fate,” or something.)

I will be okay. I will heal eventually. I will end up with more peace of mind than I’ve experienced probably since birth, and have always desperately wanted. I greatly look forward to that. And, at this point in my life and development, I will know how to keep it.

——————————
(Suddenly, I am finding more of MY words again)

#artastherapy #Writing #expression #Relationships #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #PsychologicalAbuse #CPTSD #Grief #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #Healing

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Hold That Spirit by Raye Zaragoza

Do you ever feel the bite
Of the wolves that haunt the night…
Do you ever hate the sting
Of feeling everything…
Cross your heart and hope to die
Look that monster in the eye

Hold on lightning
Don't close your eyes when it's frightening
Let that thunder grow
Through the ages
You open up all the cages and
Hold that spirit
Hold that spirit close

Have you ever felt alone
In the shadow of your home…
Have you ever felt like you
Could fall and slip right through…
Cross your heart and hope to die
Look that monster in the eye

Hold on lightning
Don't close your eyes when it's frightening
Let that thunder grow
Through the ages
You open up all the cages and
Hold that spirit
Hold that spirit close…

Cross your heart and hope to die
Look that monster in the eye
Cross your heart and hope to die
Look that monster in the eye…

Hold on lightning
Don't close your eyes when it's frightening
Let that thunder grow
Through the ages
We open up all the cages and
Hold that spirit
Hold that spirit close
Hold that spirit close

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #LifeChallenges #Relationships #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #CPTSD #audhd #Anxiety #ConnectiveTissueDisorder #Grief #MentalHealth #Healing

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(Artwork done by my daughter) Show Me by The Cranberries

Show me to the end of the night
Show me to the end of the day
Show me to the end of tomorrow, tomorrow

Show to me the path i should take
Show to me the choice i should make
Show me direction, direction

Show me the way
Show me the way…

And if i ever lose my way
And if i ever go astray
Show me direction, direction

Take me to the darkest hour
Show to me the strength and power
Give me the key

Show me the way
Show me the way…
Today…
Today
Show me the way

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #Relationships #CPTSD #Healing #Loss #MightyTogether

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Blackbird (but I mixed Lennon-McCartney’s version with Beyonce’s, just a little bit. The lyrics are almost the same for both)

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird, fly
Blackbird, fly
Into the light of the dark black night

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly (learn to fly, learn to fly)
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #Healing #Support #Emotionalsupport #MightyTogether

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I post lyrics because these songs have helped me, and I wonder if they might help someone else

(from “Black Sheep” by MILCK)

Black sheep, cryin' those rebel tears
It's a battle to survive these lonely years
Black sheep, you live up to your name
You've been told for way too long that you're the one to blame

You never mean to hurt yourself or anyone around you
But trouble's like a curse, a curse you didn't choose
The house you're in is like a cage, the walls and floor rage
It's hard to breathe, but hard to leave

Look up, you’re not alone
You’ll make a home of your own
Don’t let anyone turn your unique into flaws
Yeah, you know that I love you the way that you are
Take those sticks and stones and make a home of your own
Every warrior grows from her battles and scars
Yeah, you know that I love you the way that you are…
Dear black sheep

It runs deep, it's insatiable
That hunger to be seen and to be understood
Black sheep, they call me that, too
I've wrestled with the dark, but I made it through
And so will you

Look up, you’re not alone
You’ll make a home of your own
Don’t let anyone turn your unique into flaws
Yeah, you know that I love you the way that you are
Take those sticks and stones and make a home of your own
Every warrior grows from her battles and scars
Yeah, you know that I love you the way that you are
Black sheep…

The house you build,
It will be safe and be full of light and space
You'll finally breathe, my dear black sheep

Look up, you're not alone, you'll make a home of your own
Don’t let anyone turn your unique into flaws
….you know that I love you the way that you are
Take those sticks and stones (sticks and stones)
And make a home of your own (all of your own)
Every warrior grows from her battles and scars
And you know that I love you the way that you are
And you know that I love you the way that you are
…you know that I love you the way that you are

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #Relationships #CPTSD #Autism #Autistic #ADHD #Selfcompassion #Selflove #Healing #MentalHealth

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Hang In There song by Maya Hawke

He said
He could see through to your core
And you thought
His heart was open like yours…
That he knew you better than you did
Said you were a sweet thing in a tough spot
That you just needed to let your guard down…
Man, I wish that I could take his teeth out

He's gonna get away with it
I know I've been there
You're gonna get the hang of it
Hang on, hang in there…

You're an original
He's a classic
A weapon of mass distraction
When it got bad enough
You fell in the habit of
Mistaking his violence for passion

…I know I've been there
You're gonna get the hang of it
Hang on, hang in there

Is there a way I can make it all easier to swallow?…
Unpack the impact it all had on you
Break down the backlash that he put you through
What happened to you is not who you are…

…You're gonna get the hang of it
Hang on, hang in there

open.spotify.com/track/2r4FIjdViKZ5PKqRU9MLDd

#artastherapy #Music #Lyrics #Relationships #CPTSD #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Healing

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