healing

Hi, my name is Ramone. I'm here because I struggle with loneliness, anxiety and depression at times. I dont have friends, and I recently found out that I'm neurodiverse. I hope this platforms helps and hope that I can help too.
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Loneliness #selfcare #Healing

It has been a month since I joined The Mighty and nearly a week since I wrote my first post: Fragments of Me: A Personal Story About My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Today I feel the sudden need to check-in. I plan to do this more often so I can mark my progress and record my thoughts. All of this is to ease my mind and to lessen the burden on the people around me. I've been told that I can be overwhelming because of my constant need to overshare and my inability to let things go. It hurts to hear that, but to be fair, I'd rather people be honest than to lie to me, so I'll take it in with a grain of salt.

I'm relieved to have found a community with individuals that are going through something similar or who are willing to learn more about their loved ones suffering with mental health disorders such as mine. However, I'm still struggling to find balance in my everyday life & I've been finding myself extremely insecure and anxious as of lately.

Alot of it has to do with the fact that next week my boyfriend and I are reaching our one year. We have been fighting intensely for the last few months due to my insecurities and distrust for things that happened early on in our relationship. It reached a point where we started questioning if we should continue on because we were making each other miserable. Definitely not an ideal start to our one year especially when we have a trip planned solely dedicated to celebrating that milestone in our relationship.

The question I have is: As a borderline, how do I forgive and let the past be the past?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth

Imagine you’ve been in a car accident and broken your leg. Some days, the mountain in front of you is too steep, your wounds too fresh, so you don’t even try the climb. Other days, you start, only to realize you haven’t healed enough and have to stop. And then, on some days, you do it. Now imagine this is not a linear progression. This is the nature of healing.

In my case, I didn’t break a leg—I endured severe childhood trauma. Some days I can climb the mountain, and other times I can’t. So, what does climbing the mountain mean? What does healing mean? I like this quote: “To heal is to touch with love that which we once touched with fear.” For me, that means seeing the parts of myself that I once viewed with shame and fear through a lens of love. I won’t delve into the specifics of my trauma today, though I have before. I’m not ready for that mountain.

For what felt like an eternity, I suffered. But three years ago, I began healing. I learned why I felt the way I did and how to manage it. I moved away from home and built a small life for myself in a new city. I went from having things happen to me to making things happen. Friendships, job opportunities, and the pursuit of meaning became my focus. I felt like I could face the mountains of life with little difficulty.

In that time, I also realized I wanted to be a therapist. Of all the jobs I’ve considered, none resonated with me like this one. I want to help kids avoid the pain I went through. It’s my calling.

For a while, I believed I had healed. I still feel shame and anxiety, and I still suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But I thought the bulk of the work was done—I had conquered my mountains.

Earlier this year, I had a profound experience while consuming weed. I took an edible, got comfortable, and prepared to enjoy the high. Instead, I found myself reflecting on my mental health and the progress I’d made. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed. I began to cry as pieces of myself that had been floating around in my mind clicked into place. I grieved the childhood I never got to have, the peace and security I was denied. But I also felt joy, like an ocean compared to a puddle of happiness. I saw myself as someone who had survived enormous adversity and come out stronger.

It was transformative and cemented the idea that I was healed. So, what happened a few weeks ago was disturbing.

I’ve recently made a new friend, and one night, after sharing several bowls of weed, we exchanged our trauma stories. Despite our differences, our wounds shared many similarities. I opened up about my most shameful experiences, and she told me hers. What I heard unsettled me in ways I hadn’t expected.

The next day, I woke up feeling off. Within an hour, I was having a full-blown meltdown—crying, shaking, and terrified. My coping strategies were useless. I didn’t even know why I was distressed. I felt like the rug of my healthier life had been ripped out from under me.

I’ve discussed this with my therapist, and there are a few theories. It might have been an emotional release from sharing my trauma, or maybe my friend’s story unsettled me more than I realized. Perhaps it’s because I’ve participated in some of the systems that hurt my friend. I’ll likely never know.

But the experience shook me. I had thought I was okay—more than okay. And yet, this happened. It made me feel foolish for believing I had healed. Still, when I look back at who I was versus who I am now, the progress is undeniable. The suffering I endured just three years ago has mostly evaporated. Of course, there will always be consequences of my trauma, but I feel like I’ve dealt with the majority of them.

So, was I a fool to think I had healed? I don’t think so. That moment taught me that the battle for my sanity is over. I know who I am now, better than ever before. I take pride in the fact that my therapist says I have a “borderline gifted” level of self-insight. My anguish and anxiety are under control, but there’s still more work to do.

You see, my friend unsettles me—not because of her past, but her present. She sings in the shower, passionately expresses herself, and isn’t ashamed to like what she likes. She embodies the freedom I want—the ability to live without shame. I realize now that I’m still battling the shame of being myself. Like a flare on the battlefield, my friend has illuminated my next enemy.

It seems I have another mountain to climb. Perhaps this is the value of my latest friendship—maybe she will show me how.

#Trauma #PTSD #Healing

Do you know of anyone who has been falsely accused of abuse or neglect by CPS, had records falsified and your child taken illegally. It's called Medical kidnapping. It is real and is happening in our states. Imagine as a parent what your mental health State is when your child is missing. When you reach out for #help and your denied help. #MentalHealth matters but when the #Legal components don't align up those who are supposed to help, fail where do you turn to for help. Politicians have been contacted, Gov Wes Moore office notified. Brandi Stocksdale, Dept of Social Services refuses to investigate the case. #Anxiety, #Panic, #Pain, #emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows. We have to do better for our children. I am one #Voice amplified to help families find peace in their storm. Let me know if your a victim or know some one who has become a victim. Send a message with your state and brief message of your situation. YourBuzzinessIsMyBuzziness@yahoo.com#yourbuzzinessismybuzziness #oneisonetoomany #medicalkidnapping is a crime and talking about the subject helps parents and providers explore what their options are. Look forward to your stories of #Hope and #Healing

Hi, my name is nancy_settembrino. I'm here because I want to give credit to the actual originating author, Mallory Porche, that, to me, seems to have inspired the beginning at least of the viral "Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hating socializing. It's wanting to be alone without being lonely. It's caring about everything and nothing at the same time. It's feeling everything all at once and then feeling numb." audios being created on Insta. And the rest is "The worst part of it all is you want to be loved but you don't know how to let people in to love you and you always think you don't deserve love. You feel like you are better off alone but you don't want to be alone. You feel like you want to get help, but you don't know which way to go."
#the mighty #Depression #Anxiety #determined #PanicDisorder #Healing #healed

Last night the extreme pain reared it's ugly head after working to bring it down for exactly a month. My balancing act consists of bursitis in both hips, causing both IT bands and hips to be very tight regardless of exercises and stretches. The left side has the IT band catching at the knee and causing such bad pain I cannot walk. When the pain first got extremely bad it caused a fibromyalgia flare at the same time. I eat a balanced anti-inflammatory diet and use curcumin and red light along with many other natural tools to help bring the inflammatory reaction down. Unfortunately releasing the tightness in the hip muscles isn't easy with so much pain. My massage therapist could barely touch my hips and suggested gently using a roller as possible daily to work at the layers of muscle. If anyone has experience with this issue I am open to all suggestions and new tools to help. Thank you in advance!🫶

#fightingfibro #Healing #keepgoing