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February is Coming

#FebruaryFeels #Birthdays #ValentinesDay #BipolarDepression #Thanotophobia #Insomnia #weightproblems

February is around the corner. Soon I will be turning 35. I'm still dealing with thanotophobia (death anxiety) and bipolar depression. It causes horrible insomnia. However, I am focused on the wonderful things that February can bring, and the feelings it brings to me.

1.) I am upset with my weight, but I am trying hard to deal with it mentally, and then work on things physically. I have to be in the right mindset before I do anything to handle my weight. I have to be prepared. I never had this problem in my life, up until I turned about 25 years old, and I began to gain weight. I was told that I have #hypothyriodism and it does not seem to get me in a strong position to lose weight naturally.

2.) I need to continue to focus on creating a night time routine to handle my depression symptoms, and fix the problem of insomnia. This leads me into number 3.

3.) Self Care. Positive mental mindset in approach to how I am going to deal with my weight, and the fear of death/dying or loved ones passing away (including pets).

I know that the future is bright, despite the problems I face. February always made me feel good, and it also always brought me into a "new year" because I reach another year of survival. I am looking forward to slow-changes in the coming months, and I am trying to establish a new routine that I would love to get some feedback on as far as staying active. <3


Not being able to focus

Since I have been in college, I have noticed that I can’t focus that well as I remember. My mom says it’s because I’m working for longer periods, but it takes so much for me to do anything rn. I get so frustrated because I’m trying to do it, my brain just keeps stopping myself. I just want to do good in school but I can barely get assignments done. My mom doesn’t think it’s ADD or ADHD bc I don’t show the usual symptoms like my little brother. My therapist says it’s normal but I want to be able to focus and concentrate because I can barley get anything done here. #Anxiety #Depression #hypothyriodism