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I choose NOT to be depressed about turing 40.

Life is what it is. It is what you make it. I can't go back and change the choices. I didn't know what i know NOW, back THEN. I can just go forward. So what if im not married and have kids. So what if i don't have a job. Doesn't mean things can't still happen. Just thinking out loud.

So i got a gift from my dad today and got to goout to dinner. My worker i got lunch and ice cream. The group home did give me a birthday gift to. So that is nice,

I hate eating in front of people. I don't know what happen. I had a scarey moment. I had got food stuck in my throat. I was okay in the end.I think i was trying to eat to fast and thinking. UGH. #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Birthdays

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I can't wait to be 18 and make my own decisions...

I only have 542 days until I can make my own choices. Until she'll let me go out into the world, let me get a job. Be free..

#Depression #Anxiety #Birthdays #freedom #teenagers #teenager #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #PTSD #LGBTQIA

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February is Coming

#FebruaryFeels #Birthdays #ValentinesDay #BipolarDepression #Thanotophobia #Insomnia #weightproblems

February is around the corner. Soon I will be turning 35. I'm still dealing with thanotophobia (death anxiety) and bipolar depression. It causes horrible insomnia. However, I am focused on the wonderful things that February can bring, and the feelings it brings to me.

1.) I am upset with my weight, but I am trying hard to deal with it mentally, and then work on things physically. I have to be in the right mindset before I do anything to handle my weight. I have to be prepared. I never had this problem in my life, up until I turned about 25 years old, and I began to gain weight. I was told that I have #hypothyriodism and it does not seem to get me in a strong position to lose weight naturally.

2.) I need to continue to focus on creating a night time routine to handle my depression symptoms, and fix the problem of insomnia. This leads me into number 3.

3.) Self Care. Positive mental mindset in approach to how I am going to deal with my weight, and the fear of death/dying or loved ones passing away (including pets).

I know that the future is bright, despite the problems I face. February always made me feel good, and it also always brought me into a "new year" because I reach another year of survival. I am looking forward to slow-changes in the coming months, and I am trying to establish a new routine that I would love to get some feedback on as far as staying active. <3


How can you celebrate yourself today? #themightylife

Happy birthday to me! My birthday is October 4th and I’m having so many moments lately where I realize things did get better. I know how annoying it is to hear “it’ll get better” when you’re depressed or going through things. They say that with no date or substance on when it will get better how it will. My birthday season this year has been a Cinderella season where my birthday-- a day I used to dread even up until last year, is now full of so much light and love. Birthdays are sadly such a complicated day for so many people, and I’m only now releasing the hurt and pain associated with years worth of birthdays recently.

Releasing old pain is hard, and we cannot do it until we are ready, but it can happen. It’s been happening for me continuously the past month. Today I'm celebrating me, my existence and the existences of those who keep me anchored here.

How can you celebrate yourself today?

#themightylife #Birthdays #Happiness

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Birthdays!!....#ChronicIllness #Depression #ChronicPain

My mom turned 75 yesterday and I turned 55! My kids bought us an ice cream cake 😋..... I haven’t seen my mom in almost 3 moths.. she walked right into my bedroom...I didn’t know she was coming 🤷🏻‍♀️... my granddaughter handed out cards.. my son bought me a 40” Samsung TV for my bedroom and he and his partner hung it up on my wall. They also ordered Olive Garden for everyone and he gave me his iPhone 10 because he upgraded! I made out for sure! My daughter gave me a beautiful plaque for my wall and candles ( I love candles ) I also got gift cards to Amazon! I have some shopping to do 💁🏼‍♀️ 💁🏼‍♀️.... they took my mom and dad out for lunch yesterday and gave her a certificate to get massages for the next 2 months.... they got my dad a gift card 👈 because he’s impossible to buy for.
If you’re thinking oh no why’d they get together I can only say that
I’m concerned that everyone came over but no one had fevers and everyone’s been self quarantined at home for 2 months so we figure it was probably safe. Still a stupid risk if any of us get sick but what’s done is done. #Birthdays #Family #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Fibromyalgia #Insomnia #Disability #52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe


Birthdays and Chronic Illness...Let's Break Free! #Birthdays

Are you celebrating a birthday or about to approach your Special Day? Are you excited or wanting to run away?
In my latest article I'm sharing how I break free from expectations and celebrate "chronic illness" style. I'm having my own birthday revolution and you can too ❤🎈

#Birthdays #Celebrating #ChronicIllness


December is the hardest month

December is the roughest month of the year. The blues start in October but December is a whole other monster. My caretaker’s birthdays are in December. The first one on the third then on the 14th. My birthday is the 23rd. Christmas. Financial strain with my kids because I want them to have something better. I wish I was never born so my birthday is always a day of regret. Life for so many people would have been so much better if I had never been conceived. I wish I could hibernate until mid January. My new therapist had to jump in in the midst of it. Everyday is a fight to stay alive. I’m trying not to overwhelm her but it’s so hard to keep it all inside. I just want it to be over. I’m looking forward to the end of the holidays. I hate being the grinch this time of year but I can’t be anything else. I’ve tried. I wish I could just think more positively and just be positive.
#HolidaysAreHard #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Birthdays #Anxiety #Depression


My Brutally Honest Birthday Post #Depression #Birthdays

Tomorrow is my 37th birthday, and I've penned a 'letter' that I'm going to post on my wall which pretty much tells all of my social media #Friends about how my #Depression affects me on my #Birthday . Here's a sample: "I have to tell the truth on this day as if there will be no other days when I would want to. No, this not a cry for help, I don’t want your help, nor do I want any false and self-forced wishes for a happy birthday. I am not happy, have not been in a long time. I feel every day for the last 20 years has been a waste, a life someone else could have lived, a soul someone other than me could have held onto." Has anyone else ever made a post before/on their birthday asking friends NOT to wish a happy birthday for you? This is just a small taste of what I will post at midnight, I don't want false or forced wishes for a happy birthday! Maybe it's this depression I've had for the last 20 years, it's that time of the year that makes it even harder to deal with.