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Sometimes I really hate being trans and nonbinary. I wish I was just born masculine.
It’s not fun. It happened as soon as I came to the bus stop, too, and I immediately just went back home. Clearly all society sees is a girl. No matter what I freaking do. I have long hair, but I’m not a freaking girl.

Why can’t this stupid society see that I’m not a girl? Every time I get misgendered now, thoughts of being off dead get into my head, oftentimes even having a plan right then and there. And I went back to self harm today, but I’ll try not to do it again.

I hate this.

So fuck it. I’m not going back outside. Not even to eat (which is why I would even be outside). Not even to pick up something from the door if someone’s standing there. Not if everyone is just going to misgender me as a girl like this, even if they usually don’t mean to hurt me. It still freaking hurts. This is why I can’t even just dress how I want to dress. I try to, but stuff like this often gets in the way, and this is why I sometimes avoid wearing skirts (which I guess didn’t even freaking matter today anyway).

Oh, and just for clarity’s sake, I don’t identify as a human. It’s nothing pessimistic or degrading, but it’s more in a spiritual nonhuman way. So I ask to please not call me a human, thanks.

#LGBTQIA #sad #GenderDysphoria #SocialAnxiety #SuicidalIdeation #ihatethis #fml #imnotagirldamnit