I lost a baby that I loved and never even got the chance to meet. 2019 absolutely broke me. It broke my heart, my spirit, my passion, my fire inside, and left me leaving the year in a fog that I felt I couldn’t escape. I fell into deep depression, I lost the battle to my anxiety, I planned for ending my life, I cried, I yelled, I was numb, I was someone I did not recognize. I failed as a parent, I failed as a wife, I failed as me....But I got up. I went to therapy. I went back to church. I took it day by day and I had real conversations and opened up like never before, not only with my therapist, but with friends, my husband, and myself. 2019 may have broke me, but it also reminded me of how strong I am and how fiercely I am loved by my husband. My husband, the person who literally picked me up off the floor in my puddle of blood when I lost the baby to picking me up in my puddle of tears when I no longer wanted to fight. 2019 may have broke me, but you saved me. I am not ashamed of my miscarriage, it was not my fault. I am not ashamed of my depression or anxiety, it’s not my fault. I am not ashamed of my scars and childhood adversities, it’s not my fault. I am not ashamed of the death of my friend who overdosed, it was not my fault. 2019 may have broke me, but I was already cracked. 2020 I will rise. I will persevere and I will glue my broken heart together because you reminded me I’m worth saving. #Miscarriage #ChildLoss #Suicide #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Loss #imworthsaving #forward #Daybyday #keepgoing