just

#just so tired and sad -

× " To Be Very Honest I Do Not Like Seeking Any Attention... That's Just Not Me.. I Just Try My Best To Show My True Self... I Have Self-Worth... And Self-Esteem Issue's My Whole Life... I Forget Thing's Alot Now... So I Have To Write Everything Down... I Do Try To Love Myself... But The Journey Is Difficult When You Grow Up In A Household... With A Mother That Would Ignore Her Daughter... But Instead Say Hurtful Thing's And Sometime's Use The N-Word Toward's Me... And My Older Twin Brother.... So I Truly Struggle With Loving Myself... I Do Not Like It When Other's Keep Telling Me To Love Myself... When They Don't Know How Hard It Is To Live In This Broken Body Of Mine... I'm Also Going Deaf.. Alittle.. All I Ever Wanted Was Happiness And For Someone To Adore Me... For Me.. Since I Never Got Any Love From My Mother... This Is Why I Cherish My Father More... Even Though I Lost Him To Cancer. At 6 Year's Old He Died In Front Of Me Holding My Hand And A Bible... So That Was Traumatic. I Use My Kindness And Advice To Do Good In This World. And Spread My Pure Heart Whenever Someone On Here Need's It. I Don't Ask For Anything... I Just Wish To Be At Peace... Pain Free... And Loved For Who I'am... Not For My Money Or Body Etc... I'm Simply Human Nothing More... Yes I Suffer Alot Of Trauma So Many People Have Died In My Family... My Broken Family Is Gone... I Have Nothing Left But To Make Money Just To Get By Or Used. "× I Wish That This Pandemic Would Just Go Away... I Don't Feel Secure At My Job Financially... I Want To Go To School But I Feel Like My Learning Disabilities Will Mess Everything Up. I'm Just So Truly Tired Of Everything Currently. The Amount Of Work That I Do Is Somewhat Appreciated Atleast... To Be Honest I'm Just One Fucked Up Broken Doll... With Mental × Physical Health Issue's... " × ☆▪︎S.K.▪︎☆

I was told i have this because I told my psychiatrist I used to go to, that i compartmentalize to cope with things.putting reactions and thoughts into mind moxes and stack em in my head but I was having trouble keeping them locked up.. I didn't know what #DID was.. thought she was crazy when she said old term was multiple personality disorder, but more I thought about it and my life I'm 52yrs old, there were ppl in my life who told me I said or blew up at them and I never remembered saying the things they said i did, because all but 1 was abusive 1 way or another i always chalked it up to them trying to screw with my head and manipulate me, now I wonder if I do this and someone or some aspect of my personality comes out unconsciously and I have no awareness of it, and it's scarey. I don't really know what to do with this information and of course i boxes it up and put it in my brain to deal with later but it keeps coming to surface me thinking about it. Any thoughts or ideas? Counseling never worked for bipolar depression and anxiety so talk therapy scares me and i can't afford to waste money on that now. ##DID MULTIPLE-PERSONALITY? #just .PLAIN.OLD.CRAZY?

#just joined

#just #bxnt

#just because you know/knew your worth doesn't mean you are Uncle-Ricoing it.

I was just wandering your feelings about having a Cronic condition, will getting the shot do us more harm as the shot was made so quickly ?? #Hope that makes sense #bad flare all week long #just can’t get any sicker

#wee ! i'm sooo happy that i woke up feeling refreshed!!!

I am about to resolve childhood trauma and identify triggers. I'm 62yo and everthing each day seems to trigger me. Becoming conscious of when this is happening is a God start. Some of the abuse is pre-verbal, I need a professional to assist me to guide me through and to deal with and let go of and to be able to forgive and know it is not my fault. I need to do this now, I can't function or think properly until I do. I hope to heal the hurts and abuse of the past. The perpetrators will not acknowledge or talk about it, no sorry will come my way. Ostracised from my family because I dared to speak up. Fear of speaking up makes it hard to talk about because I was punished for speaking my truth. #Healing #Forgiveness #It is not my fault #moving on #just hear 'the nightmare of my mind'