just

Mighty Family thanks for all your prayers and support. My Dad passed away on Saturday. It's not easy because my Mom has cognitive issues as well. I grateful for God my family and my church family. Will get through this 🙏 ❤️ 🫂

I am so tired of this every night I have talked to our local crisis line she said go back to bed and try to sleep My anxiety is so high right now so I was reading some people's writings they shared and sharing their stories that takes so much courage and really helped me I feel alone all the time like I am different than anyone else and if anyone really knew how my mind tortures us constantly everyone tells us the same thing they don't really know what to say to us to help #just venting #PTSD #Anxiety #overwhelmed

My morning started off late because of the fact that I didn't hear my alarm go off. I had to make instant coffee ☕ instead of brewing a full pot. The sweetest thing took place at church though. A little boy walked up to me during 🙏 prayer and asked me if I needed prayer for anything and at first I told him no thank you but God reminded me not to be prideful. So I said yes. Then he took my hand and said " Lord Jesus please help her with any of the problems she is struggling with in her life" and I said Amen.I was so touched by a child's simple faith and willingness to listen to the prompting of the holy Spirit that I was taken 🔙 to my own childhood in that moment remembering what it felt like when an adult didn't want to talk to me because I was " just a kid". Now I know exactly why Jesus said " Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. #just a kid # the kingdom of heaven is inside you#

I hate my life.

#just so tired and sad -

× " To Be Very Honest I Do Not Like Seeking Any Attention... That's Just Not Me.. I Just Try My Best To Show My True Self... I Have Self-Worth... And Self-Esteem Issue's My Whole Life... I Forget Thing's Alot Now... So I Have To Write Everything Down... I Do Try To Love Myself... But The Journey Is Difficult When You Grow Up In A Household... With A Mother That Would Ignore Her Daughter... But Instead Say Hurtful Thing's And Sometime's Use The N-Word Toward's Me... And My Older Twin Brother.... So I Truly Struggle With Loving Myself... I Do Not Like It When Other's Keep Telling Me To Love Myself... When They Don't Know How Hard It Is To Live In This Broken Body Of Mine... I'm Also Going Deaf.. Alittle.. All I Ever Wanted Was Happiness And For Someone To Adore Me... For Me.. Since I Never Got Any Love From My Mother... This Is Why I Cherish My Father More... Even Though I Lost Him To Cancer. At 6 Year's Old He Died In Front Of Me Holding My Hand And A Bible... So That Was Traumatic. I Use My Kindness And Advice To Do Good In This World. And Spread My Pure Heart Whenever Someone On Here Need's It. I Don't Ask For Anything... I Just Wish To Be At Peace... Pain Free... And Loved For Who I'am... Not For My Money Or Body Etc... I'm Simply Human Nothing More... Yes I Suffer Alot Of Trauma So Many People Have Died In My Family... My Broken Family Is Gone... I Have Nothing Left But To Make Money Just To Get By Or Used. "× I Wish That This Pandemic Would Just Go Away... I Don't Feel Secure At My Job Financially... I Want To Go To School But I Feel Like My Learning Disabilities Will Mess Everything Up. I'm Just So Truly Tired Of Everything Currently. The Amount Of Work That I Do Is Somewhat Appreciated Atleast... To Be Honest I'm Just One Fucked Up Broken Doll... With Mental × Physical Health Issue's... " × ☆▪︎S.K.▪︎☆

I was told i have this because I told my psychiatrist I used to go to, that i compartmentalize to cope with things.putting reactions and thoughts into mind moxes and stack em in my head but I was having trouble keeping them locked up.. I didn't know what #DID was.. thought she was crazy when she said old term was multiple personality disorder, but more I thought about it and my life I'm 52yrs old, there were ppl in my life who told me I said or blew up at them and I never remembered saying the things they said i did, because all but 1 was abusive 1 way or another i always chalked it up to them trying to screw with my head and manipulate me, now I wonder if I do this and someone or some aspect of my personality comes out unconsciously and I have no awareness of it, and it's scarey. I don't really know what to do with this information and of course i boxes it up and put it in my brain to deal with later but it keeps coming to surface me thinking about it. Any thoughts or ideas? Counseling never worked for bipolar depression and anxiety so talk therapy scares me and i can't afford to waste money on that now. ##DID MULTIPLE-PERSONALITY? #just .PLAIN.OLD.CRAZY?

#just joined

#just #bxnt

#just because you know/knew your worth doesn't mean you are Uncle-Ricoing it.