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I need help

I was mentally abused by my ex, she was really nice also, but she kept blocking me, she even didn’t show up to my birthday. She was gone and she left me with my pain, at the moment whenever I remember what she tell me I start feeling my body aches and that I’m going to vomit and faint. I’m not sure what’s wrong with my body, I’m so scared she might do anything that can break me more. Even though I removed all contacts with her. But I’m worried, she left me many times and at the end I decided to also leave. I’m without my family since many years, because of some reasons I can’t see my family I only call them, I’m also having deadlines and I’m having nightmares. I can’t stop remembering her bad words to me. I’m so scared now I need urgent help to calm. I’m so scared from her even though she respected me and didn’t contact anymore
#MentalHealth

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Rape: An Act of Power and Its Aftermath by Leah Lawrence

This essay discusses the sensitive and potentially distressing topics of rape, sexual violence, and their aftermath. It includes detailed analysis of the psychological motivations behind rapists, the emotional and physical effects on survivors, and societal attitudes surrounding these acts.The purpose of this essay is to raise awareness, challenge misconceptions, and advocate for prevention and support for survivors. However, it may contain material that some readers find triggering or upsetting.Readers are encouraged to proceed with caution, prioritize their well-being, and seek support if needed. If you are a survivor of sexual violence, know that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you.

The prevalence of rape in our society is both alarming and heartbreaking, leading to profound consequences for survivors, communities, and even the perpetrators themselves. This paper seeks to explore rape as an act of power, rather than one of desire, examining the psychological motivations behind rapists, the lasting effects on survivors, and the societal structures that perpetuate this violence.

My interest in this topic stems from the stark reality of sexual violence in the modern world, where headlines frequently highlight cases that speak to both systemic issues and individual trauma. The constant exposure to these harrowing stories is a sobering reminder of how deeply entrenched sexual violence is in society. Beyond the headlines, the personal accounts of survivors I have encountered underscore the urgent need for understanding, intervention, and prevention.

Rape is more than an isolated act of violence; it reflects deeper issues within a society, such as gender inequality, entitlement, and the normalization of aggressive behaviors. Expounding on this topic is not only an academic endeavor but a moral imperative to challenge the culture that enables such violence. Furthermore, this research seeks to provide insights that can inform policies, advocacy, and support systems for survivors. By addressing this topic holistically, we can contribute to a more empathetic and informed approach to combating sexual violence.

Rape as an Act of Power

Contrary to common misconceptions, rape is not primarily about sexual attraction or desire. Rather, it is a deliberate act of asserting power and control over another individual. This understanding is crucial in dismantling myths that perpetuate rape culture and in addressing the root causes of sexual violence.

Research by Groth and Birnbaum (1979) categorizes rapists into distinct psychological profiles, including power rapists, anger rapists, and sadistic rapists. Power rapists, the most prevalent category, commit sexual violence to dominate and control their victims. Their actions often stem from feelings of inadequacy or a desire to assert superiority. For them, the act of rape is a means of compensating for a perceived lack of power in other areas of their lives.

In contrast, anger rapists are motivated by rage and hostility, often directed at women or individuals they perceive as vulnerable. Their assaults are characterized by excessive violence and an intent to degrade and humiliate their victims. Sadistic rapists, though less common, derive pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering, combining sexual arousal with cruelty.

Understanding these motivations underscores that rape is rarely impulsive or purely sexual. It is a calculated act designed to dehumanize and assert dominance over the victim. This dynamic is further reinforced by societal norms that excuse or downplay sexual violence. For instance, rape culture often normalizes aggressive male behavior, blames victims for their assaults, and perpetuates the idea that men are entitled to control over women’s bodies. These societal attitudes create an environment where rape is not only tolerated but enabled.

Rape as an act of power also manifests in specific contexts, such as during wartime, where it is weaponized to demoralize communities and assert control over enemy populations. This further highlights the role of dominance and subjugation in sexual violence, demonstrating that it is less about individual attraction and more about systemic power dynamics.

Aftermath of Sexual Violence

The impact of rape on survivors is profound, affecting their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. While the physical injuries may heal with time, the emotional scars often persist, influencing every aspect of a survivor's life.

Survivors frequently experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), characterized by flashbacks, nightmares, hyper-vigilance, and avoidance behaviors. These symptoms can disrupt daily functioning, making it difficult for survivors to engage in work, relationships, and other activities. Anxiety and depression are also common, often compounded by feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame.

The societal response to survivors further exacerbates these challenges. Victim-blaming narratives, such as questioning what the survivor was wearing or implying they provoked the assault, create an environment where survivors feel silenced and unsupported. This stigma can deter survivors from seeking help, leaving them to navigate their trauma in isolation.

Additionally, the legal system often fails to provide the closure survivors need. Courtroom proceedings can be retraumatizing, as survivors are required to recount their experiences in detail while facing skepticism and scrutiny. The low conviction rates for rape cases further erode survivors' trust in the justice system, reinforcing feelings of powerlessness and despair.

The aftermath of sexual violence also impacts survivors’ relationships, as they may struggle with intimacy, trust, and communication. The ripple effects extend to their families, friends, and communities, creating a broader web of pain and disruption.

On the other hand, examining the psychological states of rapists reveals patterns of entitlement, lack of empathy, and unresolved anger. Many perpetrators rationalize their actions, minimizing their impact or blaming the victim. Addressing these psychological states is essential for rehabilitation and preventing recidivism, as understanding the root causes of such behavior can inform more effective interventions.

Rape, as explored throughout this paper, is far more than an act of sexual desire. It is a calculated act of power, designed to assert control and dominance over the victim. The psychological and emotional consequences of sexual violence are profound and long-lasting, deeply impacting both survivors and perpetrators. By acknowledging that rape is a weapon of power rather than desire, we can begin to dismantle harmful misconceptions and challenge the structures that perpetuate rape culture.

In examining the psychological dynamics of rapists, it becomes evident that addressing this behavior requires more than simply criminalizing the act. Prevention efforts must focus on addressing the emotional and societal underpinnings of sexual violence, including entitlement, anger, and narcissism. Furthermore, the psychological effects on survivors necessitate comprehensive support systems that go beyond legal remedies to include trauma-informed care, counseling, and education on consent and healthy relationships.

Rape's aftermath often leaves survivors grappling with feelings of shame, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. These effects ripple through every aspect of their lives, altering their sense of safety, trust, and self-worth. Similarly, society's lack of empathy and understanding can perpetuate stigma, which further silences. Through education and open conversations, we can work to change these perceptions and create spaces where survivors feel empowered to heal.Rape is a societal issue that require #rapeawareness , #MentalHealth

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Hope

Note: The following post is written from a Christian perspective. As such, it may not speak to everyone.

In 2018, we lost our house to a fire. It was terrible, but there was a silver lining. Insurance paid for a brand new home on our lot. At the time, I was really struggling with my mental health. But I was positive that a new setting would transform my outlook.

That didn’t happen. I was still depressed and anxious. I didn’t stop suffering from agoraphobia, psychotic panic, nightmares, self hatred, and an overwhelming sense of dread every single morning. Yes, the house was beautiful, but I was miserable.

The thing is, I tried. I took medication and had group and individual therapy. I prayed and listened to worship music. I went to church. I went out with friends, even when it was torture. I wrote gratitude lists. And it seemed to take forever, but things finally turned around. But it was anything but instantaneous.

There are scripture verses and passages that remind me to not let go of the expectation that God WILL hear my cries for help. I’ve developed a stubbornness about seeking Him until I have an answer. And when He doesn’t answer, I still seek Him. And keep seeking Him. It may not happen in my timing, but I absolutely know it must.

When Job lost everything, his wife told him to curse God and die. He refused, saying that he would follow Him in spite of his dreadful circumstances. Job 13:15 says, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Eventually, his life was completely restored.

In Genesis 32:26, an unnamed man wrestled with Jacob all night long. When the man asked to be released at daybreak, Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” God changed Jacob’s name to Israel, because “You have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

In Luke 18, there was a widow who repeatedly asked for help from an unjust judge who freely admitted that he didn’t fear God or care about people. But she wore him down with her persistence, and he finally gave her the justice she sought. Luke 18:7 concludes, “And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night?”

Finally, Matthew 7:7 says, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

Years ago, I decided to build a porch in front of my house. I needed to cut pieces of wood to fit, and all I had was a hand saw. A table saw would have been much faster and cut more cleanly. But I sawed away, even though it seemed to take forever. At some point, I knew that the wood would give way. I just had to keep sawing.

Some people seem to have been given a table saw. They glide effortlessly through life, without the burden of wondering how to survive the day. But those of us laboring with a hand saw can get there, too. The porch was built. We used it every day. It was built because the laws of physics dictated that the wood was ultimately no match for a humble little hand saw that kept going.

If you don’t give up, spiritual laws promise that you will eventually get free of a mental prison that seems inescapable. Tell God that you’re not letting go until He blesses you. The good news is that He delights in healing His children. He heard my cry, and I know He’ll hear yours.

#Bipolar #Depression #GAD # OCD # PTSD

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Stepping out of my comfort zone

So here goes my very first post. My name is Marie I'm from Ohio! I deal with OCD PTSD P-DEPRESSION ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDER AND THYROID ISSUES. I want to be normal. My counselor said what is normal I said I don't know but I want to be normal so I'm not dealing with flashback of my past trauma which start at the age of 5 all the way up to 28years old I'm 33 now. It from sexual to physical and emotional. I got counselor, I'm in IOP and I got a case manager soon. But I want to manage life without looking behind my back 24/7 I don't want to be scared to leave my house by myself. And I want nightmares to stop. With that being said I don't sleep but maybe 3 hours a night. I can not be on any sleeping meds because I have tried to opt out with them so I'm flag with them. Which is fine I don't want them. I don't even want to be on meds at all. But I'm trying to see who been threw some similar things to see how they cope or what helped them. I will be sharing bits and pieces here and there but thank you for taking time to read this.
Much ❤️

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Dizzy from doctors 🥼

Hey. I’ll try to keep this short as it’s way too much if I go into details.
2 years ago began the start of the newest problems.
August 2024, they increased and got worst at a way faster rate.

Diagnosis:
Vitiligo
Recurrent staph/MRSA/cellulitis
Folliculitis/Eczema/Prurigo Nodularis
Anemia (most of my life)
Thickened endometrium
Hormone imbalances
Migraines
Spinal injuries
Mental health (ptsd/severe anxiety/depression)
Chronic swollen throat/tonsils/lymph nodes
Sinusitis
Chronic dry cough
Low BP
Recent deviated septum
Fatigue, malaise
Body aches/weakness
Carpal tunnel
Skin intolerance to hot/cold
Recurrent UTI’s
Fibromyalgia
Recurrent ear infections / ear staph
Eustachian tube dysfunction
Hearing loss
Uterine fibroids & cysts
Memory loss
ADHD
Severe Insomnia with nightmares
IBS/GERD
TMJ/Bruxism

Not yet diagnosed:
Raynauds (2 almost constantly blue toe nails, recently started in second, 1st has been present last two years off and on)
Chronic chills
Brittle nails
Hair loss (possibly medication related)

Recent testing:
A few genetic tests
Allergy testing
Several autoimmune panels

Current additional issues:
Oral thrush (due to long term antibiotic usage - close to four months now)
Ear pressure/fullness along with dark red/purple spot inside filled with liquid ? Also spots of white appearing pus that pop to drain
— can’t handle loud noise or cold air currently. Severe ear itching.
Eye itch and redness (not pink eye)
Muscle weakness and twitching - minimal long-term control in arm muscles

Pending:
Additional testing
Meeting hematology
CT of neck/throat/nose
Hysterectomy (paused until healthy)

Immediate Family history of:
Lupus (blood work shows low middle numbers not high enough to diagnose)
Celiac (ruled out by endo/colonoscopy)
Psoriasis
RA (ruled out by blood work)
Heart issues

All I can say is yes, I’m in pain. And yes, I’m exhausted. And frustrated. I’m not a crier and all I do is start crying all the time. I have 4 kids and I can’t be the best for them. I am failing everywhere in life and I just need to get this fixed or someone to finally step in and help because I can’t keep declining like this.

I am a veteran. I have little say in my health care. I can’t get a second opinion. Getting a rheumatologist seems to be impossible despite numerous doctors telling me I should see rheumatology. I’m feeling so defeated. If I could at least narrow things down it would help so much, so I could share my research with my doctors. I have several things on my list but I need to get a really good list. Please help if you can think of what may be causing all of this.

Thank you.

*** I would share many more pictures if I could 💕

#chronichealth #Pain #hurting #mother #Veteran #Desperate #pleaselisten #sick #someonegetmedrhouse #illeventakethegoofysidekickguy #ijustwanttofeelbetter #helpme #Genetics #hematology #labs #Skin #Dermatology #IBS #GERD #autoimmune #Disorder #PTSD #Fibro #Rheumatology

(edited)
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Self forgiveness TW: Suicide

For most of my life, I found it easy to extend mercy to anyone but me. There was a time when I was everyone’s sounding board, but when it was my turn for advice, no one was there for me. I was the sole breadwinner and the hands-on parent. I was the best friend who never asked for anything.

Then, in 2012, everything fell apart. My son had a breakdown and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I lost my teaching career of 27 years. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but still felt hopeless after beginning therapy and medication. I tried to take my life in 2014.

It terrified my family, but they forgave me. But when I did the same thing nine years ago today, my older son didn’t talk to me for two years. The guilt was crushing.

I hated myself. I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I had failed as a parent, whatever good things I may have done. I do realize that I was in tremendous pain and didn’t think through how much harm I was doing to others. But I couldn’t overcome the feeling that I was the worst mother who ever lived.

My rejection of myself was so profound that I thought I was losing my mind at times. The floor would start to sink, and my brain would nearly explode from terror. This would go on for hours. It was like the (suicidal) poet Sylvia Plath wrote: “Is there no escape from my mind?”

When I wasn’t suffering one of these episodes, I still struggled. I woke up from nightmares every day. I hated to go anywhere. When I did leave the house, if I had to wait at all, I would panic. It was like I was always running from something, yet caught on a hamster wheel.

How did I get from that prison of self loathing to the delight I have now in being me? The right medication has helped tremendously. But there’s also what is known in DBT as Radical Acceptance. On some level, paradoxically, I will never forgive myself. And I’m at peace with that. It’s a permanent scar, but I’m not horrified by it; it’s just a part of me, like my green eyes. It no longer has the power to destroy me.

Because of what I’ve experienced, I know that I simply can’t afford to be consumed with self recrimination. I can’t punish myself. I can’t lose myself in ignoring my own needs and only caring about others. I can’t dwell on thoughts of how unworthy I am.

I need to do more than survive. I need to thrive. I can absorb God’s forgiveness, and extend it to myself and everyone around me. The poison of self hatred doesn’t belong anywhere near me. And if I can be free, anyone can.

So don’t lose hope if you’re stuck in a pit of unforgiveness toward yourself. Try to do something life-affirming. My kids bought me paint supplies for Christmas 2020, and I used them out of obligation- then fell in love. When you bring something new into your life, hope can blossom.

You are worth it. Thanks for reading this.

#Bipolar #Depression #GAD #OCD #PTSD

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The Unspoken Realities of Recovering from Trauma: A Journey Through the Maze of Healing and Hope

The Shock of Survival: When the Real Battle Begins

When the dust settles and the chaos fades, there’s a moment of realization: you survived. For a fleeting second, that feels like enough. You’re breathing. Your heart is beating. But survival is just the beginning. No one tells you that the hardest part isn’t the trauma itself, but what comes after.

The silence that follows the storm is deafening. Your mind replays the trauma in an endless loop. Even when the world around you is calm, your thoughts scream, your heart races. You want to move on, but you feel trapped in that moment, a prisoner to memories that refuse to fade.

Healing Isn’t a Straight Path: Navigating the Twists and Turns

I used to think healing was like climbing a staircase—each step leading you steadily toward recovery. But it’s not. Healing is a maze. You stumble forward, take a wrong turn, double back, and hit dead ends. Some days, it feels like progress. Other days, you feel lost again.

No one tells you that setbacks aren’t failures. They’re part of the journey. Even when you feel like you’re sliding backward, you’re still moving. Every twist, every turn teaches you something new. It’s a dance between progress and struggle, and each step counts, even the ones that hurt.

The Lonely Journey Within: Facing the Shadows Alone

Trauma is isolating. Friends and family say, “I’m here for you,” and they mean it. But there are corners of your mind no one else can reach. The weight of your experience feels uniquely yours. You try to explain, but words fall short, tangled in emotions too raw to share.

No one tells you that some parts of healing require solitude. Facing those shadows alone doesn’t mean you’re abandoned. It means you have the strength to confront your pain, to hold the key to your own freedom. And that strength is something to be proud of.

The Body Remembers: Healing Beyond the Mind

Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind; it lives in your body. Tight shoulders. Shaking hands. A heart that races without reason. Even when your mind begins to heal, your body holds onto the fear.

No one tells you how important it is to reconnect with your physical self. Breathing exercises. Gentle touch. Placing a hand over your heart and whispering, “You’re safe now.” These small acts remind your body that the danger has passed. Healing isn’t just mental; it’s physical, too.

Finding Joy in Small Wins: The Building Blocks of Healing

In the chaos of recovery, we crave big milestones—the day the nightmares stop, the moment fear disappears. But healing is built on smaller victories. The first genuine laugh. A night of uninterrupted sleep. A moment of calm in a place that once triggered panic.

No one tells you to celebrate these wins, but they matter. They’re proof that healing is happening, even when it feels invisible. Each small victory is a brick in the foundation of your recovery. These moments are the real markers of progress. Celebrate them. You’ve earned it.

Growth and Grief: Rising Stronger Through the Pain

Recovering from trauma is a paradox. You grow, but you also grieve. You mourn the person you were before the trauma. You grieve the time lost, the innocence stolen, the parts of you that may never be the same.

But from that grief, something new emerges. Resilience. Strength. Wisdom. The person who walks out of the maze isn’t the same as the one who entered it. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe the goal isn’t to return to who you were, but to embrace who you’ve become—stronger, wiser, and braver than you ever imagined.

Walking Together Through the Maze: You Are Not Alone

If there’s one truth to hold onto, it’s this: You are not alone. The maze feels isolating, but there are others walking their own labyrinths of healing. Their paths may be different, but the struggle, the hope, and the determination are the same.

Trauma may have been the storm, but healing is the rebuilding. It’s messy, exhausting, and sometimes it feels endless. But brick by brick, moment by moment, you’re creating a new foundation—one that is stronger, wiser, and capable of holding a hopeful future.

You are healing. You are growing. And no matter how long the journey takes, that is enough.

Stay strong, stay honest, and keep walking through the maze. You’ve got this.

Corey Welch

Author | Mental Health Advocate

#TraumaRecovery, #HealingJourney, #MentalHealthAwareness, #SurvivingTrauma, #PTSD, #MentalHealthMatters, #Resilience, #SelfHealing, #EmotionalWellbeing, #InvisibleWounds, #YouAreNotAlone, #GrowthThroughGrief, #HealingIsNotLinear, #RecoverySupport, #StrengthInStruggle, #HopeAndHealing, #MentalHealthCommunity, #PersonalGrowth, #ReclaimYourLife, #HealingFromWithin

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Jelly1471. I'm here because I was in a severe car accident a year ago and I’ve been experiencing dissociation everyday feeling like I’m not real or I’m dead or in a dream. I’m scared or tense all the time. I have trouble sleeping I don’t have flashbacks of my accident. I think that is because I don’t remember any of it. I have nightmares which wake me up and I don’t get much sleep and I just wanted to find people who struggle aswell and might be able to give me tips.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

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Exhausted

I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up every hour. I had nightmares about my dad and my partner. When I woke up I didn't have any pain but now my back hurts pretty bad. I took 2 aspirin and half of a Norco 2 hours ago.

My partner is getting a gift from me today. I ordered her a teddy bear hoodie dress and an eared winter hat. I hope she likes it. I'm giving her the hat today but I'm waiting till Yule to give her the hoodie dress.

I was hungry so I went to look in my fridge for food and found a bowl of leftover noods from last night. So I made them with sundried tomato Alfredo sauce and Parmesan cheese. Oh wow it was really yummy.

#ChronicPain #BackPain #foodieadventures

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Channeling my rage and heartbreak

I had to end a close friendship because of a devastating and traumatic betrayal. I no longer grieve the loss of the friendship. Instead, I turn to the heartbreak and pain. He absolutely stabbed me in the chest. I felt like I was already dying inside, and he basically killed me. I spend my whole day doing damage control ro nake sure I don't self harm, spiral, or make things worse. In my heart I yearn for forgiveness and mercy. But the angry part of me wants to see him suffer. For the nightmares I have each night, for the fact that every day I struggle against self harm, suicide, and relapse. For treating his best friend like dirt. I'm speaking from the part of me that's in pain and I want God to show him kindness and mercy and I pray for that, and I pray that he doesnt suffer. But fuck, the anger inside me wants him to. I feel an anger and hateed in my heart too painful and raw to speak about here. Anger is stigmatized, and the thoughts I have about him would lead to condemnation from others. But I'm fighting not to relapse, to keep afloat in part because of the damage he did to me. And the only way I can avoid relapsing, self harming, and attempting suicide is to work WITH my rage and anger instead of trying to bury it, hide it, or run/distract from it. It feels good to write these words. It feels good to finally not have to internalize how I feel. It feels good to tell God the worst thoughts I'm having, and to not be judged for it.

And none of these feelings really reflect my true will. I don't wish anyone harm and would pray it be otherwise, but I need to process these feelings in order to heal. And that means expressing my anger.

#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Grief
#Selfharm
#Suicide
#MightyTogether
#MightyTogether

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