Thought

× " Please Note : That This Post Is About Trying To Start A New Chapter... A New Beginning... So Please Don't Leave Comment's About.. How I Should Just Love Myself Frist.. I Have Been Doing It.. The Best Way's That I Can... Now What's The Best Way To Tell Someone About Physical And Mental Disabilities... My #CP Is Noticable Because I Have A Limp... I Think That I Would Probably Wait Until They Ask... But Who Know's People These Day's Are Super Dismissive And Picky.. " × #Thought 's #curiosity ☆ S.K. ☆

× " So Today I Did The Register All Morning... Idk Why People Are So Indecisive About Food... Like Look At The Menu... Before To Come To The Restaurant Or Order-Online... And Then I Have 2 Co-worker's Who Hate When I Do The Register... They Keep Yelling At Me For Everything.. And The Customer's Are No Help With Thier Order's... Because They Speak To Me In A Low Tone Voice.. So I Can't Hear Well... I Ask Them To Please Repeat Thier Order... And I Got Some Right And Some Worng.. Due To Customer's Not Getting Off Thier Phone's To Order.. So How I'm I To Alway's Blame... And I Only Worked 3 Day's For This Week... All I Wanted Was My Brithday Off.. Not 4 Day's Off... But My Body Is Healing For Now... Maybe My Boss Is Trying To Save Money Who Know's... Then My Sister Asked How Was Work... Ugh I Didn't Want To Talk.... Hopefully The Next Schedule Is Back To Normal... I Have Never Experienced My Hour's Being Cut Is It Normal To Do That ??? " × ☆☆ ☆☆☆ S.K. ☆☆☆☆☆

× " I Have Alway's Thought That.. This Wasn't True But I Guess It Is.. In Someway.. I Have Only Had One Long-Term Relationship/Marriage... Yeah I Know Lame.. And I Need To Get Out More. But I Believe That These Word's That People Use To Discuss Partner's Etc... Is Not Real.. Thier's No Way One Person Is Your Actual True Love Etc. Maybe That's Why People Cheat Because One Partner Is Not Enough.. Or They Might Need To Feed Thier Huge Ego.. Or Something.. Meh You Know's One Will Never Understand Why People Hurt One Another... " × #Curious #Thoughts ☆ S. K. ☆

× " To Be Very Honest I Do Not Like Seeking Any Attention... That's Just Not Me.. I Just Try My Best To Show My True Self... I Have Self-Worth... And Self-Esteem Issue's My Whole Life... I Forget Thing's Alot Now... So I Have To Write Everything Down... I Do Try To Love Myself... But The Journey Is Difficult When You Grow Up In A Household... With A Mother That Would Ignore Her Daughter... But Instead Say Hurtful Thing's And Sometime's Use The N-Word Toward's Me... And My Older Twin Brother.... So I Truly Struggle With Loving Myself... I Do Not Like It When Other's Keep Telling Me To Love Myself... When They Don't Know How Hard It Is To Live In This Broken Body Of Mine... I'm Also Going Deaf.. Alittle.. All I Ever Wanted Was Happiness And For Someone To Adore Me... For Me.. Since I Never Got Any Love From My Mother... This Is Why I Cherish My Father More... Even Though I Lost Him To Cancer. At 6 Year's Old He Died In Front Of Me Holding My Hand And A Bible... So That Was Traumatic. I Use My Kindness And Advice To Do Good In This World. And Spread My Pure Heart Whenever Someone On Here Need's It. I Don't Ask For Anything... I Just Wish To Be At Peace... Pain Free... And Loved For Who I'am... Not For My Money Or Body Etc... I'm Simply Human Nothing More... Yes I Suffer Alot Of Trauma So Many People Have Died In My Family... My Broken Family Is Gone... I Have Nothing Left But To Make Money Just To Get By Or Used. "× I Wish That This Pandemic Would Just Go Away... I Don't Feel Secure At My Job Financially... I Want To Go To School But I Feel Like My Learning Disabilities Will Mess Everything Up. I'm Just So Truly Tired Of Everything Currently. The Amount Of Work That I Do Is Somewhat Appreciated Atleast... To Be Honest I'm Just One Fucked Up Broken Doll... With Mental × Physical Health Issue's... " × ☆▪︎S.K.▪︎☆

× " Having To Deal With Not Being Able To Get Enough Sleep... People Don't Understand Me Because They Automatically Alway's Assume That I'm Moody And A Huge B**** Which Is Not True.. I'm Quiet And Keep To Myself Alway's Because. I Don't Know How To Deal With My Chronic Pain... I'm A Nice Person And Have A Heart... I'm Scared To Do Thing's Sometime's On My Own... But I Choose Not To Tell Anyone Anything About My Life... Because I Alway's Get The I Can't Be Bothered Look... Or The "Sigh". It's Really Annoying This Is Why I Do Thing's Within Caution And Time Everything... But Now I Have To Rush To Find An Apartment Etc.. Because I'm A Bother Where I'm Staying... Which Is Stupid They Are Just Mad At Me Because All They Want Is My Money.. I Don't Make Alot. And If I Had SSI Or SSDI Then I Would Be Treated Differently. My Growing Uncomfortable Hatered Of People In General Is At An All Time High... I Spend So Much Time Alone. I Wish People Didn't View Me As A Cash Cow. I Have Never Had Money To Myself.. So I Work Very Hard. 🙃 People In My Family Treat Me Like I'm A Bother So Now Since I'm Not Giving Them More Money... But I'm Already Giving $135.00.. Now I'm Starting To Think That My Money Is Being Wasted Elsewhere. Then Where It's Supposed To Be Going To My Cell Phone And This Experienced Water Bill 💧. And People Don't Get Why I Don't Like Spending Money... Yes I Spend Money When And Where I Need To. I Want To Be Respected As A Human Being With Feeling's. Not As A Cash Cow. For Other's To Use. " × #Feeling 's ☆ S.K. ☆

× " I Turned Down Some One Who Has Feeling's For Me... Since We Were Kids... He Told Me How He Felt And I Just Played Along... But I Felt Numb And Nothing... No Matter How Much He Tired... I Just Feel Like He Just Wanted To Sleep With Me Nothing More... I Have Liked Him Also Since I Was A Kid... But Thing's Changed And Now He Won't Talk To Me... Anymore His Loss Not Mine... All Because He Litterly " L.O.V.E B.O.M.B.E.D " Me To The Point Where I Felt Pushed And Pressured To Be In Another Relationship So Soon After My Divorce... Idk Why? Men Act This Way... And Now I'm Litterly So Scared To Go On A Date With Men.. I'm Going To Forever Stay " Single "... × #Thought 's ☆ S. K. ☆

× " I Feel So Out Of Place Sometime's When It Come's To My Sibling's They Make Me Feel Like A Failure In So Many Way's. This Is Why I Keep Alot Of Thing's That I Have Been Through In My Life To Myself. Because All They Do Is Critique Me... Or If I Want A Partner In My Life. My Happy Place Is At Work... Because I Get To Destress My Sibling's Stress Me Out. This Is Insane... So I Was Thinking About Doing The D.N.A Testing Thing Because I'm Adopted... Now I Have Decided NOT To Go Through With It.. Why Because One Of My Sibling's Just Did It... And It Turn's Out Thier Biological Father Is A Child R**** Predator.. So Yeah It's Best To Be My Unique Self After All... My Mighty Family Is Right Here... And I Couldn't Be More Happier To Have This Better Gift. " × Sincerly, ☆ S. K. ☆ #overthinking #Thought 's

How do I hide the pain from my friends.... without hiding a part of myself.

How do I hide the pain from my friends....
without hiding,
or ending up all by myself.

How do I show my friends,
without hurting,
or pushing them away,
because I was thinking only about myself,
or maybe it was just about the pain...

#ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #Poem #MightyPoets #Spoonie #Thought

× " Like Some Of My Sister Has Done It. And My Ex Has Done It. I've Been Curious Ever Since I Was Born... I Strongly Have Been Feeling That I'm Diffrent... And Plus I Have Just Watched A Documentary Called " Our Father " On Netflix. But I Have Been Wanting To Do This Since I Was 18 Year's Old. But I'm Scared To Do It... Because Companie's Can Sell Your D.N.A Etc... I Just Don't Know I'm Curious Though ?¿ S.I.G.H ?¿... " × Sincerly, ☆ S. K. ☆ #Curious #Thought 's

I went through a breakup recently and all I can think about is him. My thoughts are constantly about him. I overthink and get paranoid about the situation. What makes it so much worse is that he is a narcissist and is diagnosed with having schizoaffective Disorder. This yo-yo relationship has been going on for nearly 4 years. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #narcissist #Thought #IntrusiveThoughts #SchizoAffect #SchizoaffectiveDisorder